


Tell Her

by siophiefandom



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, paily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 46,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6378799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siophiefandom/pseuds/siophiefandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paige is crushing on the unapproachably beautiful goddess in her sociology seminar. Not entirely based on personal experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Emily Shines and Paige Pines

"Love is what we were born with.

Fear is what we learned here."

\- Marianne Williamson

"Shit!" Paige shouted, grabbing her phone and killing its alarm, "Shit! Shit! Shit!" She was going to be late, and Wednesday was the one day when she couldn't be late.

After a grueling session in the gym and a quick pass through the dining hall, she decided to grab a brief nap before her evening seminar, "The Economics of Feminism." She needed to be fresh for her weekly three hours of torture - sweet torture. But, more than that, she needed to be on time.

She had to get to the lecture hall in time to claim her seat - two seats left and one seat back from where Emily would be sitting: close enough to be driven to distraction by her crush; not so close as to be stalker-creepy.

Paige knew where Emily would sit because Emily was a creature of habit. Like many swimmers, she was a girl of routines that bordered on ritual: Every Wednesday night, she and her blonde friend, Hanna, would waltz through the door , Starbucks cups in hand as they sauntered over to their desks. Then, Emily would slide her backpack off her shoulder and onto the floor beside her, pull a scrunchie off her left wrist and, after running her fingers through those dark, majestic locks a couple of times, would gather them into a ponytail before taking her seat, smiling to the blonde, and, with a sigh, touching her on the arm as if to say, "Are we ready for another three hours of this?"

Paige knew that they weren't together, Emily and "Boy-crazy Hanna." Half of the notes that Hanna took during class were just drawings of guys, including the occasional explicit drawing that she would sketch just to get a reaction from Emily. Emily looked genuinely surprised every single time that Hanna poked her (after making sure that Dr. Markham's eyes were elsewhere), tilted up her notebook, and, with wide eyes and a suggestive smirk, showed Emily the latest bit of raunch. And, every single time, Emily obliged Hanna with the cringe that she was going for, followed by a condescending, "Ha ha, now pay attention" look before they went back to taking notes.

Paige didn't know whether to envy or pity Hanna. She wondered what it would be like to be best friends with a goddess. To be able to nudge her shoulder whenever, just to feel connected, or to be able invite her out for coffee for no reason, or to fall asleep casually on her bed after a Netflix marathon. She wondered what it would feel like being that close and wanting to kiss her, but not wanting to risk the friendship, so you have to hold everything in and hope it's not as awkward as you know it actually is whenever you're together, and then, late one Friday, after a night at the frats, you're both drunk and depressed, and you make a pact that, if you're both still single when you're 30, you'll marry each other, sealing it with a kiss - just a peck, but it starts the wheels turning in both of your minds and -

Why was she doing this to herself? The problems of being Emily's best friend are problems that Paige would never have to worry about.

In her mind, she had devised countless elaborate scenarios where she and Emily could meet casually: Emily would accidentally bump into her from behind when Paige stops unexpectedly in line at the coffee shop (not knowing that Emily was behind her); Emily would apologize adorably and mention something about their Wednesday night seminar and something about how she hates drinking coffee alone, but Hanna ditched her for some guy. Or Dr. M. would assign them a group project; Hanna would be part of it, of course, but she'd be too busy flirting with the guy on the team, so Emily would laugh her adorable laugh and say, "Well, I guess it's just you and me, Paige," and Paige would smile at the way that sounds and at the fact that Emily said her name, and Emily would notice and think to herself, "Now, how is it that I never noticed that smile before?" Or Emily would reply to one of Paige's tweets about Tatiana Maslany, because it turns out she loves Orphan Black as well, and -

But why even bother to think about any of this?

Paige slumped in her chair. She knew that, soon, Dr. M. would set the remote down on her desk, turn up the lights and say, "And I think that's just about enough for tonight. Go home." Emily would get up from her seat, and Paige would bite her lip, focusing intently on the few sheets of incomprehensible notes that she spent the period distractedly writing and is now trying to shove into her backpack in an attempt to make it look as though she hadn't just been staring like a drooling puppy in a pet shop window as Emily arched her back and stretched once to the left and once to the right before gathering up her own notes and heading for the door, arm in arm and laughing with Hanna.

And, on the long walk back to the dorms, Paige would kick herself for being such a coward.

* * *

"I feel sorry for this girl," her friend, Pru, declared over coffee the next morning.

"Her? Why would you feel sorry for her?"

"Because she's got this incredible woman who's so madly in love with her, and she'll never know!"

"Pru, don't start..."

"What? I'm serious!"

"Emily doesn't want to know that some stupid, loser freshman has a stupid, schoolgirl crush on her! God - how awkward would _that_ be! I would never be able to show my face in that class again."

"You might as well not show your face," Pru muttered under her breath. "There's no way you're going to pass that class when you're spending the whole period fawning over Emily."

"What difference does it make if I fail that class when I'm failing at life," Paige sighed.

"Paige... what happened in your life to fuck over your self esteem so badly that you can't see how much of a catch you are? You're a gorgeous, compassionate, loving, eligible woman... Look," Pru continued, getting out of her chair and standing next to Paige's, so that they were both looking at Paige's reflection in the mirrored walls of the coffee shop.

Paige winced, even though there was no one else in that section of the shop to see what they were doing. "Pru - we are not doing this here!"

"I'm serious, Paige. Can you honestly not see how absolutely fucking beautiful you are?"

"Pru..."

"Paige... just look at yourself - objectively, for once in your life."

"Pru. It doesn't matter if I'm 'objectively beautiful.' Emily is a goddess."

Pru gathered her best friend into a consoling embrace, realizing that there was no use trying to convince Paige; not in the defeated mood that she was currently sulking in.

* * *

 

**A/N - I know that the sentences are long and ungrammatical. I was trying to portray Paige's stream of consciousness, even though this is a third-person fic...**

* * *


	2. A Little Help from my Friends

Love is made by two people in different kinds of solitude. It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd.  
\- Louis Aragon

"Can we, please, not have this conversation again," Emily pleaded. "You don't have to make it your personal mission to get me laid."

"I'm just saying, Em. It's been four months. Maya's obviously moved on; there's no reason for you not to move on, too!"

"And I will, Hanna. When the right person comes along..."

"Oh, please, Em! The right person has already come and gone, I bet. Several times. You just won't give anyone a chance!"

"Excuse me, Hanna, but I don't exactly see people lined up outside my door!"

"That's because you're walking around with your eyes closed! Trust me, I see girls checking you out all the time!"

"Hannah - you think every girl is checking me out. Just as you think every guy is checking you out!"

"Well, duh! That's 'cause they are," Hanna countered, running her hands down her sides and posing to make her point, "And, really - how could they not?"

"Whatever, " Emily sighed. "Let's just get our coffee and find a booth. We've got a lot of studying to do."

But Hanna wouldn't let it go. "What about that girl from our sociology seminar? I always see her sneaking glances at you. And she's freaking HOT!"

"Hanna, this isn't fan fiction. Not every hot college girl is a lesbian."

"Yeah, I know! I'm a hot college girl who's not a lesbian," Hanna shot back in a mocking tone. "But I'll bet she is, though! And I'll bet I could find out for you!"

"Yeah - because _that's_ a good idea," Emily sighed, rapidly tiring of this conversation.

"I know! Next Wednesday, when we're bored out of our minds in class, I'll draw a picture of you and her making out! She always sits behind you - she's sure to see it!"

"Hanna!"

"What? If she smiles, you'll know she's into you! It's a great idea!"

"It is not a great idea, Hanna, it's insane!"

The two friends grabbed their coffees and headed for a less crowded area of the coffee shop, where they'd have room to spread out their notes and study. Out of the corner of her eye, Emily spotted two girls wrapped in a hug. When she recognized who the taller one was, her eyes went wide for just an instant, knowing what Hanna was liable to do if she, too, caught a glimpse of the girl from Sociology. Emily tried to hide her surprise as she set about attempting to turn Hanna around and get her out the door before she could see the girl. "You know, Hanna, it's kind of loud in here - let's just go study in the lounge back at the dorms!"

"What do you mean, loud? It's half deserted in this section. Besides, you know I can't study in that lounge! It always smells like wet - OH MY GOD," Hanna screeched out in recognition.

Emily cringed, knowing that there was no way that the girl would leave now, not until she had totally embarrassed herself - and Emily.

"See, Emily? It's a sign!" Hanna was clapping her hands in excitement. "We were just talking about her, and here she is!"

"It's called a coincidence, Han! Come on, can we just go, _please?_ before you do something I'll regret!"

"See this is what I'm talking about! You never give anyone half a chance!"

"Oh, come on, Hanna - she's obviously taken! Did you see the way she was just hugging her girlfriend?"

"Nice try, Em! But I hug you with more passion than that, and we're definitely not dating," Hanna mocked. "I'm going to go talk to her!"

"No!" Emily commanded, grabbing Hanna by the arm and spinning her around into the nearest booth. "You're going to sit down, and we're going to do what we came here for, without making a bigger spectacle of ourselves than we already have!"

"I know what _I_ came here for," Hanna intoned, sing-songy, to herself.

* * *

Across the room, Pru sat back down in her seat and saw the two girls over by the window engaged in an animated conversation. "Oh my God - don't freak out! Oh my God, don't freak out," she kept repeating, her eyes suddenly as wide as saucers.

"What's going on," Paige smiled, thinking that the Lit professor on whom Pru was inappropriately crushing had just walked in. She spun her head around in the chair and caught sight of Emily. Her heart raced from zero to sixty in an instant. "We've got to get out of here! NOW," Paige whispered as loud as she dared, "This is not a drill!"

"Paige, relax! She doesn't even know that you have this major crush on her! And, even if she did, would that be so bad? Go talk to her! At least you'll know. Do you want me to go over there with you?" While Pru tried to think of plausible excuses for them to go over to Emily and Hanna's table, Paige sat silently imploding. When Pru finally looked up and saw what was happening, she took pity on her friend. "Okay, little buckaroo," she soothed, putting her hand on top of Paige's across the table and adding sadly, "Let's get you home. You can live to fight another day."

* * *

From their booth by the window, Hanna was able to see Paige's shoulders heave up and down rapidly while she fanned herself with her hands, looking as though she were in the middle of a full-on panic attack. Hanna watched as Paige's friend at first tried to calm her and then started gathering their garbage so that they could leave. Hanna knew that the two of them would have to walk past her and Emily to get to the door. She knew that she had one shot - and Emily couldn't know what she was up to.

Sure enough, Paige and Pru headed in the direction of their booth, Pru with her arm around Paige's shoulder, rubbing circles with her palm on the girl's back; Paige hunched over like a celebrity who was trying not to be recognized. When they got just within hearing-range of the booth, Hanna shouted out, as casually as if she were asking what time it is, "Excuse me, but, if you were gay, would you let my friend here kiss you?"

Paige gasped sharply, dropping her empty cup and half-eaten muffin, turning one shade of bright red after another.

"HANNA," Emily reprimanded, "Not okay!" Moving her anger-filled eyes from her giggling friend over to where Paige was still doing a good impression of a lipstick, she saw the effect that Hanna's reckless words had had on the poor girl. She ran over to her, stooping to pick up the fallen cup and food. "Please excuse my friend," she pleaded. Standing to her feet, she reached comfortingly for Paige's forearm with one hand, gripping Paige's garbage in the other, and continued. "She doesn't have a filter, and that was WAY out of line," those last words delivered with a glare in Hanna's direction. Paige was still frozen in place, causing Emily's maternal instincts to kick in. Moving two fingers under Paige's chin, tilting the girl's head up so that she could look her in the eye, Emily asked, "Hey, are you okay?"

Pru swooped her friend up, replying to Emily's question as she mercifully moved Paige toward the exit, "Oh, don't worry about Paige! She'll be fine once she gets out of here and starts breathing again!" And, before the door swung closed, Pru tossed her head back towards Hanna and responded to the question that had ignited this whole firestorm: "And, by the way, she definitely is, and she definitely would!"


	3. Picking up the pieces

Long for me as I for you, forgetting what will be inevitable, the long black aftermath of pain.  
\- Malcolm Lowry

Back at the dorms, Paige and Pru were sitting on Paige's bed, and Paige was weeping inconsolably in loud sobs from deep within her gut, her head buried in the crook of her friend's shoulder. Pru just let held her and let her cry it out until, eventually, Paige lay down, placing her palms together in Pru's lap and her head on top of her hands. Pru ran a hand up and down over Paige's long, auburn locks, gently smoothing them.

They were silent for a long time.

Paige just stared at the boring, gray wall across the room from her. When she first moved into the dorms, she was resolved to brighten the look of the room with a combination of artwork and furnishings, but nothing could change the fact that the walls were plain, dingy, dull, and gray. Outside her window, all was gray as well, as a light rain had begun falling. Paige listened to the patter of the raindrops as they hit on her window, falling into the hypnotic spell of their monotonous rhythm, almost wishing that the rhythm would lull her to sleep before Pru started in again.

"You know," Pru began, "It really wasn't that bad. I'm sure that one day – "

"Don't you dare," Paige chided, "Don't you dare say that we'll laugh about this someday!"

"Paige, you're taking this too hard. Look on the bright side! She obviously knows who you are, and her friend must have said what she did for a reason!"

"I couldn't even look at her, Pru," Paige whined, ignoring her friend's reasoning. "How pathetic is that? Ugh! She must think I'm some silly, stupid…"

"She doesn't think that, Paige! Did you see the way that she came to your rescue?"

"Yeah, as if I were some pathetic puppy in a shelter. Women like that don't want a cute little pound-puppy." Pru couldn't help giggling at Paige's choice of words. Paige looked up at her with an unamused glare.

"Sorry," Pru squeaked. Paige continued.

"She wants someone confident and strong; someone who can sweep her off her feet and rock her world."

"And you know this because you've talked to her about it?"

Paige just rolled her eyes.

"I'm just saying, Paige. Don't overthink this. Just talk to the girl. Maybe you'll hit it off, and maybe you'll be just friends, but anything's got to be better than this! Just talk to her!'

"I _can't_ just talk to her, Pru," Paige whined. "Not after what happened this morning. Ugh… I can't even _look_ at her."

Pru gave a half-smile of understanding, even though Paige was still staring straight ahead and couldn't see her. Paige could feel the comforting touch of Pru's hand, though, which she had begun smoothing over Paige's hair again.

"Why did I have to get up," Paige sniffled, her eyes once again moist? "I knew that we'd have to walk right past them. If we had just sat there till they left, if none of that had ever happened, then, maybe – _maybe_ I could 'just talk to her.' But not now. Now… God – I've got to drop that seminar."

Pru pulled her friend up into a light hug, rubbing her back. "That's a week away. Don't even think about that, now. You'll feel much better by then, I promise. Hell – you'll feel better tomorrow morning. You just need a little perspective."

Paige sighed over Pru's shoulder. She knew that her friend meant well, but Pru couldn't be more wrong. Paige was truly grateful for her comforting words. She just wished she could believe them. Paige returned her head and hands to Pru's lap. The sun was beginning to poke through the clouds, pushing through the beads of rain on her window as if through a prism, projecting a faint rainbow on the dull, gray walls.

* * *

"Why are you pissed at me? You should be thanking me," Hanna reasoned, earning a sharp glare from her best friend. After the incident with the shy freshman, they didn't even bother to unpack their laptops and books. It was obvious that they weren't going to be able to get any studying done, so they sat and sipped their coffee, nibbling at their breakfast. "This is going to be that wacky, 'How we met' story that everybody's going to love hearing at your wedding!"

"Are you kidding me right now, Hanna? Did you see that poor girl? She was mortified. She's going to avoid me like the plague."

"Oh, please, she's home right now thinking, 'That hottie I've been crushing on all year touched my arm! Am I going to wear a traditional wedding dress or a tux when we say "I do?"'"

"Hanna, not everyone is like you. You saw her: She wasn't flattered, she was mortified! She's like a little lost puppy – you can't just go charging after it. You have to coax it gently, gain its trust, let it come to you…"

"So you admit it! You want to take that little puppy home with you!"

"Ugh! God, Hanna… Yes. I don't know; maybe? She's cute, right?"

"She's _so_ cute, Em!"

Emily's senses – and her irritation – returned. "That's not the point, Han. The point is, you charged in there like some stupid, clumsy three-year-old, and you scared her back into the woods!"

"Okay – can we stop with the puppy metaphor, please? My brain's about to explode! Look, the point is, you guys would have wasted the entire semester off in your own little worlds if it weren't for me. I was the catalyst that brought the two of you together!"

"Really, Hanna? 'The catalyst?'"

"Yes. I'm allowed to use big words every now and then!"

"Anyway, we're not together."

"No…" Hanna drawled, her tone full of insinuation, "but you want to be!"

"Shit." Emily had enough pretending. "Yeah, I do," she conceded, smiling off into space.

"Ahhhh," Hanna sang out in a high-pitched tone, drawing her friend into a hug.

"So, Catalyst. Tell me: What am I supposed to do now?"

Hanna reached into Emily's backpack and retrieved her laptop. "You log onto facebook. I'll be right back!"

Emily powered up her laptop and signed in to the coffee shop's wifi. All the while, she watched Hanna work her magic on the barista at the front counter: Putting her hand on his shoulder as she tossed her head back in laughter at something the boy said; looking intently into his eyes as she made her plea; giving him the lightest hug before jogging back to their booth.

"Okay, he said her name's Paige. P-A-I-G-E. He left out the 'I' the first time he wrote her name on the coffee cup, and she corrected him. He thinks she's a freshman, because she only started coming to the shop at the beginning of this year. So, this should be easy – how many Paiges who go here could there be on facebook, right?"

"Hanna, I'm not going to facebook-stalk her!"

"Um, duh, Emily! Girls like us aren't stalkers! We're the stalkees!"

Emily cringed at the word. Hanna continued, oblivious, "Here's what you're going to do. You're going to send Paige a friend request, and, when she accepts, you're going to chat with her, apologize for your gorgeous friend who has no boundaries, and ask if you can make it up to her with coffee sometime. Let her come to you!"

* * *

Paige wasn't sure how long she had been asleep on her best friend's lap. Pru was still comfortingly stroking her hair when a tone on Paige's phone woke her. She dug the phone out of her pocket and slid it unlocked to find a facebook notification. When she opened it, she was sure that she was still dreaming: "You have a new friend request from Emily Fields."


	4. A Date with a Goddess

**A/N – To the guest who asked about Pru: She's the one in episode 1x20 who talks with Paige in the bathroom about Sean Ackard. I don't know why she ends up as Paige's friend in so many fanfics, but I just decided to go with it. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.

– C.S. Lewis

"Stop acting as if this is a bad thing, Paige! Why would she friend you if she wasn't interested?"

"I don't know – to apologize, maybe? Maybe out of pity?" Paige was on the verge of another panic attack. Pru rubbed her arms, soothingly. When she felt Paige calm down, she continued, "Well, there's one way to find out!"

Paige took a minute to think it over. And, really, her friend was right: Whatever reasons Emily had for friending her, it couldn't be a bad thing. "Okay. Okay. This is good. This is good."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Accept her request!"

* * *

Later that evening, back in their room, Emily opened a chat with her newest facebook friend, Paige McCullers.

 **Emily Fields** : Hi! It's Emily, the girl from Campus Grounds with the majorly inappropriate friend. :)

No reply

 **Emily Fields** : I guess you already figured that out, though. :)

No reply

"Tell her you want to take her for a stroll through the Fields!"

"Shut up, Hanna!"

"Tell her you're ready to turn the Paige!"

"Oh, my God, Hanna, why are you even here?"

 **Emily Fields** : So, I was thinking, after that incredibly tactless comment from my friend, it could potentially be really awkward in Soc. next Wednesday night. So, I was thinking, maybe we could meet up for coffee before then, you know, to break the ice? No inappropriate friends this time, I promise. :)

No reply

 **Emily Fields** : Or we could bring friends, I mean. It doesn't have to be just the two of us, if you'd feel more comfortable.

No reply

 **Emily Fields** : Okay, well, I guess that's a no, then. I really am so sorry, Paige. The offer stands, though, if you ever forgive me.

Emily sighed and closed the chat. "Ugh. I knew this was a stupid idea."

"Hey, remember," Hanna said sincerely, rubbing Emily's arm, "Frightened puppy. Just give her some time. Let her come to you."

Emily buried her face in her hands. "I just totally humiliated myself, Hanna. As if _you_ hadn't already done that for me," she said, defeated.

"She just needs some time, Em. Trust me: She'll come around."

"She didn't say _anything_ , Hanna. Not "it's okay," not "I can't talk right now," not "fuck off and die..." She just let me keep going on and on like an idiot."

"She's just nervous and shy. I mean, she didn't accept your friend request just to ignore you. The best thing you can do is take the pressure off her and wait for her to be ready."

"Well, if I'm still waiting when Wednesday rolls around, you're going to have to take notes in Soc. for me, 'cause there's no way I can deal with that. Wait – no, you're not going either! – God knows your mouth has gotten us into enough trouble as it is!"

* * *

"So you didn't reply at all? To anything? Paige…"

"I know! I know! I fucked up! I… I just froze. Shit, Pru!" Paige was almost sobbing.

"Okay. It's okay. I'm coming over, Paige. Don't worry. We can fix this."

Paige didn't know what to do, so she decided just to trust her friend. After a bit, Pru waltzed in with a determined look on her face and a cappuccino in each hand. "Okay," she launched in, handing a cup to Paige, "Tell me everything that happened."

Paige gave an angst-filled, self-deprecating recap of the incident while Pru pored over the chat session, doing her best to keep her expression neutral. She let out a sigh and looked up at her friend, trying to to remain optimistic. "This is fixable," she assured her.

"I could tell her that I have really bad carpal-tunnel, and that, when it flares up, I can't type! I could tell her that my Dad called right when she started chatting, and I couldn't get back to the laptop! I could tell her…"

"Paige! Calm down!" Pru paused, then reasoned, "Look, Emily was honest and open with you. You just have to be the same with her."

"What? – Tell her I'm this big loser who was too scared shitless to operate a keyboard when her huge crush reached out to her?"

"Paige…" Pru thought it over. "Actually, that might work!"

"Pru!"

"Okay, okay," Pru half laughed. "But put yourself in her shoes. Wouldn't you love it if Emily were that vulnerable with you?"

Paige just squinched her eyebrows and looked at Pru, pleading for salvation.

"Okay. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to tell her that you're sorry, that you didn't mean to be rude to her, but you were just overwhelmed. Tell her that she doesn't have to apologize for her friend, and that you'd love to have coffee with her."

Paige breathed in, about to say something, but she thought it over. "Actually, that doesn't sound bad."

"And then you're going to go have coffee with this girl, and you're going to be yourself – not the little frightened puppy that you morph into whenever you see the Goddess Emily. Okay?"

"Okay."

Pru grabbed her shoulders and shook her, for emphasis, repeating more emphatically, "Okay?"

"Okay," Paige said. "But you're going with me."

Paige went over to her laptop and saw that Emily was no longer on-line, so she messaged her: "Hi, Emily. Listen, I'm so, so sorry about before. I was just overwhelmed. Well, I guess you've seen how that looks. :) And don't apologize for your friend. Coffee sounds good. Can I bring my friend, Pru?" Crossing out that last question, she decided to be brave, and typed in her phone number instead. She quickly clicked "Send" before she had a chance to chicken out.

"Woah! Bold move, McCullers! So, tell me: What are you going to do when your phone lights up and it's Emily Fields on the other end?"

Paige let out a deep exhale and smiled. "Yeah, well, you know me. When I decide to take on a challenge, I have to face it head on!"

Pru continued, melodramatically, "And I'm crushed! Ditching your oldest and dearest friend before the date even begins?"

"Oh, God, Pru! You had to say 'date?' I'm not under enough pressure as it is?"

"It'll be _fine_ , Bucko," Pru assured, her hand on Paige's shoulder. "You'll see."

* * *

Paige knew that it would be hard talking to Emily on the telephone. What she wasn't prepared for was how hard it was waiting for the phone to ring. She wasn't expecting to hear from Emily that night, but when Friday turned into Saturday, and she still hadn't heard from the girl by phone or on facebook, her optimism and her courage started to fade back into the same dull, drab gray of the dorm-room walls that surrounded her.

Paige wondered about the thought process that led to the choice of gray paint for the dorms. She understood that the color was neutral – safe – but why be safe? Isn't life supposed to be lived in bright, vibrant color? How she longed to be the kind of person who could assault that gray with bucketfuls of paint, in bold, vivid hues.

Paige was so done with gray.

Saturday afternoon found Paige sitting at her desk, doing her best to study. She had resolved to make good use of her time, because waiting for the phone to ring was driving her crazy. It took her about 15 minutes to realize that she had been reading the same paragraph over and over again. "Fuck it," she finally exclaimed out loud, shutting her book and heading over to her bed to try to take a nap. Before she got there, she heard her phone buzzing.

The call was from an unknown number. Paige didn't even bother to play it cool and let the phone ring for a bit, to make it seem that she hadn't spent the last day and a half waiting for the call.

"Hello," she said, letting the eagerness come through in her voice.

"Hi, Paige? This is Emily."

"Hi, Emily! I was hoping you'd call."

Emily smiled at hearing those words. The shy puppy had, apparently, decided to trust her, and was now wagging its tail in delight. God, she needed a new metaphor.

"I'm glad to hear that," Emily replied. And she was. She got right to the point. "So, listen. Any chance you're free tonight? I owe you a coffee."

"Hmm… Well, I made plans with Faulkner for tonight, but I guess I could stand him up for some really good coffee!"

Emily chuckled into the phone. "Great! Shall we say 5:00? At Campus Grounds? – Back to the scene of the crime, as they say?"

"5:00," Paige confirmed. "I'll see you there!"

Paige hung up and allowed herself one shriek, tossing her head back and clenching her fists at her chest, before she was back on the phone to fire off a text to Pru:

"Date w/ GODDESS in 2 hrs! Wish me luck!"


	5. It's Just Coffee

When you are in love you can't fall asleep, because reality is better than your dreams.

– Dr. Seuss

"Ahhhhhhh!" Pru squealed into the phone as soon as Paige picked up. Paige knew that it wouldn't be long before she heard from her friend, once she had texted her. Pru wasn't much for texting. She needed to hear and, ideally, to see the person whom she was talking to.

Paige filled her in on the conversation with Emily.

"That's so great, Paige. I'm really happy for you – for _both_ of you. I'm just so glad that Emily finally gets to meet this terrific girl."

"Thanks, Pru." Paige was too giddy to argue about the "terrific girl" thing.

"Promise me one thing, though, Paige."

"What's that?"

"Promise me that you'll be yourself. If you two hit it off, that's great. But you don't want her to fall for a make-believe Paige."

"Okay, Pru." Paige had been tempted to say, "Okay, Mom," but Pru was being sincere, and Paige appreciated her advice.

"And it's okay to be nervous. She'll be nervous, too. Just don't worry. No pressure – just enjoy yourself, okay?"

"Okay, Pru. Thanks. I will. I'll try."

"Okay. I'm going to come by at 4:00 and help you figure out what you're wearing."

"Thanks, Pru. You're the best." Paige was grateful that she didn't have to ask.

A little over an hour later, Paige was dressed, casual and simple, for her – whatever it was – with Emily. Not a date. Just coffee. Pru had her in a vise-tight hug, swaying them back and forth. Finally, she released the girl, preening the hair at her forehead a bit and offering one more piece of advice before letting her go.

"Paige, just remember that she's not a goddess. She's a person, just like you."

"I know she's not, Pru," Paige asserted meekly.

"I'm just saying. You've built her up so much in your mind. Just let her be her. Don't be let down when she shows that she's human. Just – you be you, and let her be her."

"Okay, Pru." As much as Paige trusted and appreciated her friend's advice, she just really needed to get out of there. The anticipation and her nerves were killing her. She pulled her friend in for another, quick hug. "Thanks so much for everything, Pru! I need to get going!" Paige glanced around at the rainbow of rejected outfits strewn across the floor of her room. "Would you mind if I leave you to tidy up?"

"Of course not! Go do what you have to do!" Pru kept calling out advice as Paige hurried down the hall. "Have fun! No pressure! Just be yourself!" Then, just before Paige made it to the stairs, Pru yelled out, "And do that thing where you dip your head! It's adorable!"

This statement stopped Paige in her tracks. She turned around and shot her friend a confused look. Pru put her arms in front of her and flicked her hands, shooing Paige onward, "Go! Go!"

* * *

Paige's plan was to get to the coffee shop first, to give her body – and her mind – time to calm down before she saw Emily. She was successful. She kept repeating Pru's advice in her head: "Not a goddess. Be myself. Have fun."

Then Emily rounded the corner.

Emily was perfect. Her long, black hair was billowing in the slight breeze, her lean legs, seemingly endless in those black capris, swaying sensually with her every stride, her upper half hugged by an off-the-shoulder skin-tone top under a maroon leather jacket, and Paige could swear that there was a spotlight, somewhere, focused on Emily's radiant face, following the girl as she drew nearer and nearer. Emily was all confidence, assurance, and presence. Paige could feel her own self-confidence melt away with every step that the goddess took.

When Emily saw her standing there, she broke into the warmest smile that Paige could ever imagine, and it was for _her_ , Paige McCullers. Paige could breathe again. It was at that very moment that she realized that she was going to be all right. Emily's smile made everything all right.

"Hi!" Emily said the word with two syllables, casually drawing Paige into a one-armed hug as she did. _Okay, she's a hugger._ Paige wasn't surprised. She was definitely pleased. As they released, Emily dragged her arm down Paige's shoulder and squeezed her bicep lightly as she added, "Thanks for coming out on short-notice. Shall we head inside," she asked, tilting her head to point inside.

Paige found herself following Emily – through the door and up to the counter – and, because she couldn't think straight in time to form words when the barista looked at her, she followed Emily's order, as well: "That sounds good. I'll have the same." Emily laughed lightly and cocked her head towards Paige as she told the barista, "Great minds think alike!" When it was time to pay, Emily pulled out her wallet, and, before Paige could offer, pulled out a loyalty card and handed it to the cashier, telling Paige, "I have a freebie! Yours is on me."

Paige just nodded with a closed-mouthed smile. She really wanted to say, "Okay! Next one's on me!" but she could never be that bold.

Emily picked up the tray, and Paige followed her to a booth.

Paige had still not gotten over how unbelievably beautiful Emily was. She couldn't help staring out of the corner of her eye at the way that Emily's chest heaved a bit as she shrugged off her jacket. Paige ducked her head immediately and began focusing on lining up her muffin and cup just right on the table, not wanting to get caught staring.

They sat in awkward silence for what, to Paige, seemed like forever. She picked at her muffin and chastised herself for not having drawn up a list of things to talk about. Emily got the ball rolling. "So, Hanna – my blonde friend? – wanted me to tell you that she's really sorry about the other day."

"It's okay," Paige said weakly, not yet looking up.

"I hope you'll give her a chance," Emily continued, leaning in a bit. "Hanna is probably my closest friend, and she really means well. She just looks at the world differently."

"It's okay. I'm not mad," Paige assured her, eyes still focused on the muffin in front of her.

"Really," Emily probed?

"Really," Paige confirmed, finally looking Emily in the eyes, with a slight smile. "How could I be mad at Hanna? If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now." Paige just threw it out there, and then she dipped her head before Emily could respond. _Oh – so that's what Pru was talking about!_

Emily tilted her head back and laughed lightly. "Yes, I suppose you're right," she said, reaching out and squeezing Paige's hand in the middle of the table. Paige warmed at the contact. She knew, from watching Emily and Hanna in Sociology on Wednesday nights, that Emily was a touchy-feely kind of girl, but, still, she couldn't get over the fact that she was sitting at a table with Emily Fields over coffee, and Emily's hand was on top hers. "Thank you, Hanna!" Emily laughed.

"How did you two meet?"

"Oh, I've known Hanna all my life. We grew up together in a small town in the Philly 'burbs. She's always been there for me – when I came out, when I broke up with my ex, when I trekked out here to college."

"She sounds a lot like my friend, Pru."

"I could tell that your friend has your back. We're lucky to have good friends like them, aren't we?"

"Definitely." Paige paused. "Sometimes, it takes a friend to give us that push when we don't even know that we need one," she mused.

"Whoa. Paige McCullers, I think you may have just blown my mind!"

This time, it was Paige reaching across the table to squeeze Emily's hand. It just felt natural. The conversation flowed freely over the next hour or so until, inevitably, the evening had to end. Paige walked out in the direction of Emily's car with her, and Emily, when she realized that Paige hadn't driven, offered her a ride back to the dorms.

Emily pushed the button on her key fob to unlock the doors. She opened the passenger door and began wildly tossing parking stubs, old coffee-cup lids, and random papers into the back seat as she apologized for how messy her car was. _She's human!_ Paige put her hand on Emily's back, because they did that sort of thing now, and assured her that it was fine. Emily stood up and took a quick breath to center herself before turning around to face Paige. Then, without realizing what she was doing, she raised her hand to Paige's cheek and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Oh, God! I'm _so_ sorry! I have no idea why I did that! I swear that's not who I am, Paige!"

Paige could see that Emily's lips were moving, but she had no idea what the girl was saying. All she could think was that she wanted those lips on hers again. She leaned in and, slowly, nervously, reconnected their lips, feeling Emily's widen into a smile. Paige's hands moved behind Emily's neck as Emily's moved to Paige's waist. Both girls were smiling when they pulled apart. After a few moments of grinning like schoolgirls at each other, Emily broke the silence. "Come on," she said, punctuating her words with a quick peck, "Let's get you home."

The ride home was a blur. Paige remembered holding hands across the console, exchanging giddy grins, and stealing a kiss at a red light. All too soon, she was in front of her dorm, leaning through the window on the driver's side of Emily's car to give her a kiss goodnight. The next thing she knew, she was outside her room, trying to stop her hands from shaking with nervous energy as she aimed the key towards the lock. Once inside, she leaned her back against the door and crumpled to the ground, overwhelmed with joy.

The gray in the walls seemed somehow brighter in the residual glow of Emily Fields.

* * *

"You did not!"

Emily was too excited to be sheepish or coy. "I did," she affirmed confidently.

"Emily Fields! You took advantage of that poor, defenseless freshman! What _will_ your mother say?" They were sitting cross-legged on Emily's bed, and Hanna was having fun teasing her best friend.

"It wasn't like that, Hanna! I was freaking out because my car was a mess, and she was going to think that I'm a total wreck, so I was frantically trying to clean it up, and she just said it was okay, and, then I turned around and saw her smiling so sweetly with those lips I'd been staring at for the last hour and a half, and..."

"You kissed her."

"In the moment, it felt right."

"So, what did she do? Give you her impersonation of a cherry lollipop again?" Hanna asked wryly.

"She kissed me back," Emily said softly, hiding her face behind her hands after she got the words out.

"She. Did. Not... Emily!" Hanna let out a squeal and grabbed her friend's hands so that she see her eyes. Emily bit her lip and smiled. "Then what happened?" Hanna prompted.

"I drove her home, and she held my hand the whole way. Then, we stopped at a red light, and she just reached over, turned my head to face her - and kissed me."

Hanna pulled Emily in for a warm embrace. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered into Emily's hair.

Emily had to wipe a tear from her eye. "I'm so happy, too."

"It sounds as if Paige is just what you need."

"Yeah, Han. I think she really is."


	6. Group Hang

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

– Bill Watterson

Paige sat against the door in silence for a few moments while she processed the evening's events. Only, she realized, it wasn't silent; she could hear the rhythmic squeaking of her bedsprings. She looked up to see Pru on her bed, a mile-wide grin spread across her face, her leg bouncing up and down like a yo-yo on crack. Pru had waited that whole time, ready to rejoice with or console Paige when she returned.

Paige told her everything: From how nervous she was at the outset and how natural it was talking with Emily through the part where Emily offered her a ride and claimed her in the parking lot. Pru gave her a warm hug. "I'm so happy for you," she sighed into her shoulder. But, as they parted, she grabbed both of Paige's hands and said, "But don't make too much out of it, okay? It was just one kiss."

"I know it was," Paige said softly, dipping her head, slightly embarrassed at having been so naïvely optimistic. She was a little deflated, but she rolled the night's events over in her head again and knew that it was more than just a kiss to Emily.

Seeing the effect that her words had on Paige, Pru smoothed a hand through Paige's hair and backtracked a little. "I really _am_ happy for you." she assured. "I just think that you should take things slowly; let them happen."

Earlier, when Pru had finished putting Paige's clothes away, she passed the time watching Netflix on Paige's laptop with the lights off. In her excitement to tell Pru how the evening went, Paige never bothered to turn them back on, and with only the glow of her laptop illuminating the room, Paige was beginning to feel herself suffocate under the unrelenting, dim gray of the walls.

"She wants to meet you," she croaked out in monotone, desperate to change the subject.

"She does?"

"She does," Paige smiled. "And she wants us to meet her friend, Hanna."

"Well, we will definitely have to make that happen!" Pru sounded upbeat again. The fact that Emily wanted to meet Paige's friends was a good thing.

Paige felt her phone buzz in the back pocket of her jeans and smiled brightly when she saw who it was who had texted.

Pru read the look on her friend's face and didn't even have to ask who it was. She squeezed Paige's shoulder and gestured toward the door as she let herself out. Pru really cared about her friend, and the fact that Emily had texted Paige so soon after seeing her, whatever the text said, made Pru feel better about everything. On her way out, she flipped the light switch, and the sudden brightness dazzled Paige's retinae, giving the illusion of flashes of color wherever her gaze fell against the gray walls that surrounded her.

Paige read Emily's text over and over, dissecting each word: "Hey, Paige! Just checking in to make sure that you made it to your room okay. :) I had a good time tonight. Hope you did, too. Good night, xo – Em"

Eventually, Paige collected her thoughts and replied, weighing every word and starting over several times before she hit "Send." "I had a great time, Em. Thank you for everything. Good night, xo – Paige"

* * *

It was an overcast Sunday morning, and Paige and Pru were standing out in front one of the university's art spaces, waiting for Emily. They had made plans to attend a showing of Hanna's student project and then grab brunch. Paige couldn't stop her leg from shaking. She was nervous for Pru to like Emily, of course, but, more than that, she was nervous about seeing Emily again. This was a woman, after all, whom Paige couldn't even summon up the courage to talk to less than a week ago; someone who couldn't possibly have known that Paige existed back then. Yes, they had both had a good time Friday night, and Emily had invited her and Pru to this showing, but who knew how things would go the second time? Pru's attempts to calm her friend weren't really working. It was Pru, after all, who had told Paige not to make too much of their first – Paige still couldn't convince herself to call it a date.

Emily rounded the corner with that "All's right with the world" smile, took Paige's hand, and brought her in for a quick kiss. It felt automatic, somehow – as though they'd been greeting each other that way all semester. Looking Paige up and down, Emily commented, "You look great!" under her breath, and Paige dipped her head. With the hand that wasn't holding Paige's, Emily pulled Pru in for a hug, saying, "You must be Pru! I'm so glad to meet you." Pru winked at Paige and gave her a thumbs up over Emily's shoulder. Paige felt her face flush.

As they entered the art space, Paige couldn't get over the fact that Emily was still holding her hand. Paige came from a very small town in Wisconsin, and, although she was out to her family, friends, and school, she wasn't used to this kind of public display, even among straight couples. Emily was so confident and sophisticated, in her charcoal gray slacks, black pumps, cashmere pullover, and pearls. A week ago, Paige would've been intimidated by her, but now, here in Emily's orbit, the confidence was contagious. Paige felt so proud that she was one whose hand Emily was holding.

Hanna was a very talented artist. Her project consisted of a series of self-portraits, ranging from representational to abstract, tender to macabre, sincere to bizarre. As the three wound their way through the space, Emily filled them in on the stories behind several of the portraits, squeezing Paige's hand occasionally as she recounted some horror or drama associated with a certain piece. "The joys of living with a tortured artist!" she mused.

At the far end of the space, beyond the last canvas, there were several tall tables which black-vested waiters were navigating with trays of wine or cheese. Hanna was standing in the entryway in a beaded black cocktail dress, a glass of white wine in her right hand, her left hand on the shoulder of an older woman, her face scrunched up in a smile. To Paige, the scene looked like an ad for a luxury car or something. When Hanna saw Emily, she gestured her over. Emily released Paige's hand and told the girls that she'd be right back.

When Emily left, Paige's self-confidence went with her. "Oh, what am I _doing_ here, Pru?" she whined, leaning into her friend's arms. "I don't belong with this crowd!"

"You're here with Emily. She wants you here. That's all that matters."

Paige watched as Emily gave Hanna and the woman with whom Hanna was talking her trademark one-armed hug. Paige started tugging at her dress. All of a sudden, it didn't seem to fit. _She_ didn't seem to fit. Paige was just about to manufacture a headache, to spare Emily the awkwardness of having to ditch her and Pru, when she saw Emily coming back towards them with a wine glass in each hand. She handed one to Paige and one to Pru, saying, "I hope white's okay?" Then, instead of holding Paige's hand, Emily put her arm around Paige's waist and said, "Come with me. I want to introduce you two to Hanna."

Hanna was visibly bursting with anticipation as the three girls approached. She snatched the wine glass out of Paige's hand so forcefully that about half of its contents spilled over as she set it down on a nearby table and grabbed Paige into a bear hug, shrieking, "Ohhh! I'm so glad to meet the girl who rocked my Emily's world!" Emily could only laugh. She wouldn't have expected anything less out of Hanna. Hanna pulled a very shocked Pru into the hug with one arm. "And you must be Pru. Aren't these two just the cutest couple?" Emily pulled Paige, then Pru, safely out of Hanna's grip, whispering to them, "She's not even drunk. She's just really excited to meet you." Reading the nervous smile on Paige's face, Emily stroked her shoulder and assured her, "Hanna just has to talk to a couple more people before she can duck out. It won't be long, I promise."

Emily led them to an isolated table in the corner where it was a little quieter and set about learning a bit about Pru. Paige found herself smiling with pride as she watched Emily talk to her best friend. Emily's eyes lit up as though were talking to the most interesting person in the world. Every once in a while, she glanced over at Paige, her smile saying, "Your friend's really great, isn't she?" Paige couldn't help putting her arm around Emily's waist and resting her head lightly on her shoulder. When she did, Emily deposited a quick kiss on top of her head without missing a beat of her conversation with Pru.

Paige, Emily, Hanna, and Pru were settling into their booth at Campus Grounds. Hanna insisted on paying, because she was celebrating her showing. Emily had warned Paige and Pru that Hanna, as bold and outgoing as she was, needed a lot of reinforcement when it came to her art. Once they were all seated, Hanna folded her arms in front of her and plopped her head down, sighing. She had already managed to divest herself of her heels. She looked up with a wide smile and said, in one breath, "God I'm so glad that's over I friggin hate those things so what did you guys think?" Pru told her how the portraits made her feel, calling out two in particular that really moved her. Hanna grabbed her hand. "God bless you." She turned to Emily and said, "You trained them well!"

Paige shot in, "No, seriously, though! You're an amazing artist! I mean, I'm always impressed by the work that you display about halfway through our Sociology seminar each week, but these portraits really took my breath away!"

Everyone in the booth laughed, and Hanna, satisfied, moved on to the next topic. "Okay. That's out of the way. So, tell me," scooting closer to Paige, her voice dripping with insinuation, "how did you and my Emily meet?" She tried her best to keep a straight face, but she couldn't help bursting into laughter.

"Yes, Hanna: Thank you for that. As… unorthodox as your methods were, I can't complain about the results." Emily reached over and squeezed Paige's hand under the table, letting her hand remain on Paige's thigh.

"Listen – about my methods. I apologize. I really didn't mean to embarrass you… well, I _did_ , but not _that_ much. But I couldn't just stand by and do nothing when it's so obvious that you and Em were made for each other!" Emily shot Hanna a look and squeezed Paige's hand tighter, worried that she was going to freak out at this statement. Pru crumpled up her napkin and threw it across the table at Hanna. "Yeah, so no pressure," she mocked.

Hanna laughed and tossed the crumpled napkin back. "Ooh – I like this one! I can tell that you and I are going to be great friends, kiddo!"

* * *

After brunch, the girls all piled into Emily's Toyota and she took them home. Hanna and Pru were in their own world in the backseat, immersed in animated conversation. In the front seats, Paige and Emily held hands in comfortable silence. Finally, Paige and Emily were alone in the car, outside Paige's dorm. Emily switched the engine off.

"Thanks for coming with me today, Paige."

"I had fun!"

"I could tell that it wasn't your thing, though. I hope that it wasn't too uncomfortable for you."

"No, I was fine." Paige looked down at her hands in her lap and added, softly, "I'm different when I'm with you."

Emily put her hand under Paige's chin and gently tilted her head up, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Hey," she began, finding Paige's eyes before she continued, "– I hope you don't feel that you have to be different for me and my friends."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. You make me _feel_ different; – better. I'm more confident when you're around. I don't feel like some – stupid freshman."

"I never saw you as a stupid freshman, Paige."

"I know. But you didn't know me."

"Do you think that I never noticed you before? I was always impressed by the things you said in Soc. – like, 'how does that brain come up with those thoughts?'"

"I was trying to impress you," Paige confessed with a shy smile.

"Really?"

Paige nodded her head. "But, if you looked at me," she laughed, "I'd lose my whole train of thought." Paige dipped her head, shaking it in embarrassment. Emily leaned over and gave her a long, passionate kiss, communicating all of her pent-up emotion and a semester's worth of words that had gone unsaid. She tangled a hand in Paige's hair while Paige tugged her by her shoulders to pull her in closer.

The kiss was so intense that Paige found herself unable to speak for several moments afterwards. She was also unable to get the smile off of her face. Emily's hand was on her cheek, gently stroking at her jawline with her thumb. Paige's body warmed all over. She never wanted to leave that car. She grabbed Emily's hand from the side of her face, intertwined their fingers, and asked, "So, are we… Does this mean… Am I…" Emily's gaze became too much for Paige. She had to turn away and look out through the windshield.

Emily drew her back in for a kiss before she answered, enthusiastically, "Oh, yeah. We totally are."


	7. A New Look

The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.

\- Aristotle

Paige looked bleary-eyed at her clock. "5:30? Are you kidding me?"

The banging on her door resumed. "Open up!" Hanna's way too cheery voice sang out, "We're here!"

Paige gathered a robe around her and opened the door to see Hanna, decked out in a white, painter's jumpsuit and a white painter's cap, with a handful of sketch pads and pens. Pru was beside her, similarly dressed, with a tray of coffee. Behind them stood Emily, carrying a bunch of drop cloths and an apologetic expression.

"What the hell, Em?"

"Sorry. When inspiration hits, Hanna tends to go overboard."

"But I was _kidding_! She can't actually be planning to paint the walls - the University would KILL me!"

"You don't know the story about this dorm?" Paige shook her head. Emily led her over to her bed and sat her down. Pru, Hanna's newest sidekick, was busily pulling posters off the walls and furniture into the center of the room. Hanna was running her hands over the walls as if, in some Zen-like fashion, she were trying to become one with them.

Emily sat next to Paige on the bed and handed her a coffee. "So, you applied for housing late, didn't you?"

"Yes. I was going to go to University of Wisconsin, to save my parents some money, but when they found out that I really wanted to come here with Pru, they told me not to worry about the cost. By then, I had missed the housing deadline, but I got on a wait-list and, eventually, got assigned to this dorm."

"And you don't know how you ended up getting this room all to yourself?"

Paige shook her head. "I just assumed it was because I applied so late. I figured they'd eventually assign me a transfer student or something as a roommate."

"Well, you're right about the late part. This whole dorm is nothing but people who transferred or got admitted late. Over the summer, the city condemned the building. Just before the school year, the University got a variance that allowed them to use it for this academic year, but it only allowed for half-occupancy. As soon as Spring exams are over, they're going to gut the building and redo it. In the meantime, they don't really care what happens to the walls."

"So this is happening?" Paige was getting excited.

"This is happening," Hannah stepped up and confirmed. "So what were you thinking? A landscape? Still life? A huge portrait of Emily's loving face?"

"I feel as though, whatever you do, it will be Emily," Paige mused. "I mean, she's the one who brought color to my life. She basically did for me what you're going to do for this room."

Hanna bowed her head and walked around in a circle for a bit. "Beautiful, by the way, Paige," she affirmed. Soon, inspiration struck, and she broke into a smile. "Okay! I've got what I need! You two, scoot! I've got to get The Marem in here and get to work! Paige, this place is going to be smelling like paint for a couple of days. Pack a bag - you're bunking with us!"

Paige felt herself flush. "Don't worry," Emily reassured her. "We have a futon." She helped Paige throw some essentials into a bag and took her out to breakfast, where she explained that The Marem, short for "Male Harem," was a bunch of jocks and frat boys who were basically at Hanna's disposal. Whenever there was any grunt work or heavy lifting to be done, Hanna put out the call for The Marem. "Must be nice," Paige said.

* * *

Emily unlocked the door and ushered Paige into the apartment that she and Hanna shared. Paige wasn't surprised by anything that she saw: off in the corner, a makeshift studio, covered in art magazines, in the center, on the left, some crates that were serving as both a bookcase and a TV stand, and, next to that, a beat-up couch offset by a couple of unmatched chairs and a futon that looked as though it had only recently been cleared and dusted off. Beyond the living area were a little kitchenette and a corridor which, Paige figured, led to the bedrooms.

The two settled in for an afternoon of studying. After an hour or so, Paige sensed Emily standing above her. "Study break?" Emily offered.

Emily went into the kitchen and started some popcorn popping, grabbing a pair of water bottles for them. They chatted on the couch with the bowl between them for a few moments before Paige got a look in her eye. She picked up the bowl and set it on the floor, climbed onto Emily, and started kissing her neck. Emily moaned encouragingly, running her arms up and down Paige's sides, on top of and underneath her sweatshirt. Paige's hands were roaming as well, but the two of them kept it chaste. It was all about connecting; sharing emotion. They were in no hurry to jump to the next level.

* * *

There was a flurry of activity back in Paige's room, as well, where the Marem was busily sanding, taping off, and priming, Hanna was sketching, and Pru was in awe. "What is this power that you have over them - as if I didn't know?" she snarked.

"Well, Pru," Hanna replied with a straight face, "you know what they say, 'Boys are like carpets: Lay them right the first time, and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!'" The girls burst into laughter. "Of course, I'm joking! These boys could only dream of getting with me!"

"I have much to learn from you, oh wise one," Pru sighed.

"I accept you as my apprentice, young Pru. Someone's got to carry on my work when I get out of this place!"

* * *

"Let me cook you dinner," Paige said, opening and closing cabinets to see what she had to work with. She ended up making noodles and butter with some veggies and a salad.

"So, tell me your coming out story," Emily prompted once they'd settled in to their meal.

"My coming out. Well, if you can imagine, living in a cowtown in Wisconsin, there weren't a lot of role models for me growing up. I was just really unsure about what I was feeling - was it okay, what did it mean, what did it make me. Thank goodness for the internet!

"My parents took it fairly well. I mean, they didn't blow up or lose their cool - they were just really confused by it all. It was definitely not the awkward birds-and-bees talk that my Mom was expecting to have. Well, still pretty awkward.

"I came out to them before I came out to my friends. Pru put me in touch with an LGBTA club at a high school in the next town. You have to understand - the next town was about 50 miles away. That group helped me out a lot - just knowing that I wasn't the only one, you know? That being gay didn't mean that I wasn't still Paige.

"So, what about you? What was your coming out like?"

Emily chuckled a bit. "Well, I like to tell people that I didn't come out of the closet, I fell out. Maya and I got a little careless and got caught under the bleachers. Young love... I mean, it was nothing even R-rated, just making out, but it didn't take long for word to get around town - and to my parents. I cried, my mom cried, and my dad yelled a bit, but I think that it was mainly because of how they found out, you know? The fact that Maya and I had been sneaking around behind their backs... All in all, I was pretty lucky. Once they got over the shock, they were very supportive. - Well, they're still supportive."

"So, Maya's the girl that you broke up with four months ago? - She was your first girlfriend?"

"Yep. She was the first. We were together for almost three years," Emily said without a touch of regret. "What about you? Tell me about your first girlfriend, if you don't mind my asking."

Paige smiled and dipped her head. "That would be you," she said.

* * *

After dinner and some Netflix, Emily showed Paige to her bedroom. There was a dreamcatcher in the window, and its crystals were refracting the dim light from the full moon and a streetlamp across the street. It was beautiful. Paige wondered what it looked like in the morning sun.

"So, this is you," Emily asserted. "I've got the futon."

"Oh, no, Em. I couldn't kick you out of your bed!"

"Oh, please, Paige. You're my guest. Let me be a good host!"

Paige crept tentatively up to Emily and put her hands on her collarbone, slightly bunching the fabric of her girlfriend's t-shirt when she nervously balled up her fingers. "Do you think, maybe, we could cuddle together in your bed tonight?" she asked softly, and immediately hid her face in the space between Emily's chin and neck.

Emily gathered her into a hug. "Of course we can, Baby," she said with a kiss to the top of Emily's head. "I would love that."

Paige and Emily went their separate ways to get ready for bed. Soon, Paige was climbing under the covers and into the protection of Emily's arms. Emily kissed the back of her neck through her hair. Paige reached back and pulled her hair out of the way, and Emily planted a second kiss on the newly exposed flesh there, causing Paige to shiver and let out a low moan. She turned around, wrapped her hands behind Emily's neck, and started kissing her, slowly and lazily. After a few minutes, Paige rolled over and, encircled by Emily's warm, loving arms, drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Quit calling me, Paige," Pru snapped. "I've already told you, Hanna has sworn me to silence!"

"What is Hanna, your new guru? I've known you all your life, Pru. How about a little BFF loyalty?"

"Nice try, Em. You know you'll always be first with me. But this secrecy is for your own good. Trust me - you're going to love it once it's finished!" And, with that, Pru hung up on her.

"No dice?" Emily giggled.

"Your best friend and my best friend make a formidable combination."

* * *

Soon enough, Paige got the call to come over and check out Hanna's handiwork. It was all very cloak-and-dagger, complete with blindfolds for Paige and Emily. After Hanna issued a few disclaimers, Pru and Hanna, standing behind their best friends, removed the blindfolds to reveal a mural with a giant moon (the original gray of the walls) behind two lovers' hands that came together to form a heart. Out of that heart, brilliant sunshine poured down onto the city below, bathing the skyline in incandescent light. Campus Grounds was featured prominently in the middle of the cityscape, with two silhouetted lovers visible through the shop's window, holding hands across the table. Paige began weeping. She sought out Hanna and hugged her for a while, until Hanna handed her over to her girlfriend. "Emily..." was all that Paige could get out between sobs. "I know, Baby," Emily soothed, rubbing her back, "I know."

**A/N - I have to credit portraitoftheartistasayoungc and her excellent fic, "State Your Sting," for the fact that Emily calls Paige "Baby" in this chapter. If you aren't reading that fic, you should be. Trust me.**


	8. Celebrate

To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you.

\- Nathaniel Branden

Hanna, Paige, and Emily had settled into a routine on Wednesday nights. Before their seminar, they met for dinner in the dining halls and stopped by Campus Grounds to get the coffee fix that would see them through the three-hour session. Paige no longer sat behind and to the side of Emily so that she could steal glances; now, the three sat together. Paige still stole glances, though, still not quite believing that they were together, that she could kiss Emily pretty much whenever she wanted to, and that Emily was there for her if she ever needed to talk, or whine, or cuddle. Often, Emily would catch her stealing a glance and respond with a warm smile and a squeeze of Paige's thigh. Hanna was still Hanna, and she still got bored and shared her not-safe-for-work art pieces with Emily about halfway through class. Paige couldn't begrudge her that. She would have felt guilty if her relationship with Emily had come between Emily's friendship with Hanna. Paige couldn't feel too bad for Hanna, though, given that Hanna had gained a new best friend from the experience. She and Pru had hit it off like gangbusters. They joked that fate brought Paige and Emily together just to give the two of them a way to meet and become best friends.

After class, Emily would drive Hanna back to their apartment and then drop Paige back at her dorm. On one of these trips, Paige announced, "So, I was thinking: Tomorrow night, I want to come over and make you dinner."

"That sounds nice! Or we can go out."

"Well, I was kind of hoping we could have some time for just the two of us."

"Don't mind me," Hanna interrupted. "I'll make myself scarce..."

"Sorry, Hanna," Paige smiled, scrunching up her nose and pleading with the girl in the backseat, "If you wouldn't mind, though..."

"No, I don't mind. Who am I to come between young love?"

"Thanks, Hanna! We'll save you a plate."

"Yeah, you'd better!"

"So, anything special you need me to pick up for this meal?"

"No, don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything. Pru and I usually go shopping on Thursdays anyway. I'll just ask her to drop me off here once we're finished."

"Perfect," Hanna chimed in. "Pru can take me out to dinner! Just leave a sock on the door if you two decide that you're going to have more than just dinner! I mean, I really don't want to get in between young love!"

"Hanna!" Emily chided. Paige had already learned to take Hanna's comments in stride.

When it was just the two of them parked outside Paige's dorm, Paige confirmed that she would come over with groceries at around 5:30. "Are you sure you're up for cooking tomorrow, Paige? We can just order in."

"I'm sure. I just really want to cook for you."

"What's the occasion?"

"No occasion. I've wanted to cook for you for a while. I can't really do it at my dorm, because it only has the common kitchen on the first floor."

"Okay. I'll see you at 5:30 then. I can't wait!"

Paige would never tell Emily that there actually was an occasion that she wanted to celebrate. Thursday marked one month since their first date, the night of their first kiss. Paige wasn't bothered by the fact that Emily didn't remember that it had been a month. It wasn't as though it were a major anniversary, and Paige didn't want to look pathetic by making a big deal out of it. Still, one month meant something to her, and she was glad that she and Emily would get an evening alone, even if she were going to be the only one who was celebrating.

* * *

Thursday night, Pru helped Paige carry the groceries up to Emily and Hanna's kitchen. She gave Paige a quick hug good-by and went to collect her sidekick. "What are you in the mood for?" Pru asked. "Alcohol!" Hanna replied. Arm in arm, they headed for Pru's car.

Soon, Paige was humming around the kitchen, putting her meal together. Emily kept trying to help, but Paige kept shooing her away. Finally, to get Emily out of her hair, Paige handed her some plates and silverware and told her to set the table. "And make it nice - use a tablecloth!"

* * *

"This is nice, isn't it?" Emily confirmed as they settled in to their meal. "Thanks, for cooking, Paige."

"It was really my pleasure. I love to cook."

Emily leaned over and kissed Paige's cheek. "Remember when we first met?"

"How could I forget? I'm surprised that you would even talk to me after that."

"You were so adorable."

"I was pathetic!"

"No, you weren't." Emily grabbed Paige's hand and kissed her palm. "Did I ever tell you that Hanna and I were talking about you when we walked in to the coffee shop? When she saw you, she said that it was a sign."

"Well, maybe it was!"

"Yeah, maybe..." Emily brought Paige's hand in for another kiss.

"I used to wish that I were Hanna, just so I could talk to you. But, then, I thought, it would be so frustrating to be so close and be just a friend."

"Wow. It's amazing how much things changed between us in such a short amount of time."

"I know! It's barely been a month!" Paige didn't want to give away the fact that she had kept track of the actual date. Emily retracted her hand from Paige's and went to cup Paige's cheek, but, as she did, she knocked over her wine glass. The glass was almost empty, but Emily still ended up with a small stain on her shirt.

"Crap!" she yelled as she got up and ran into the kitchen, dabbing the spot with some cold water. Paige followed closely behind her.

"Emily, I'm so sorry!"

Emily laughed. "How is this your fault? For being so beautiful that you distracted me?" Paige rolled her eyes, and Emily continued, "Don't worry. I'm sure it'll come out. Do me a favor, though: Hanna keeps a stain-remover pen in the top drawer of her dresser. Could you run to her room and grab it for me?" Paige dashed off. Emily turned off the water in the sink and started the countdown. _3, 2, 1..._

Paige turned on the light in Hanna's room and laughed to herself when she saw the bouquet of red roses that were in a vase on top of the dresser. Even though Hanna didn't have a boyfriend, Paige was sure that she had guys sending her flowers all the time. When she walked up to the dresser to grab the stain-remover pen, she saw that the card in front of the vase had her name on it. Opening it, she read, "Happy One-Month, Paige! Thank you for all that you've brought to my life. Love, Em"

Sure enough, right on cue, as Emily finished her countdown, she heard Paige's high-pitched squeal from the bedroom, "Oh my gosh! Emily!"

Paige ran back to the kitchen, threw her arms around her girlfriend's neck – still holding the card in her hand – and gave her a deep, heartfelt kiss. "You remembered?"

"Of course, I remembered! How could I forget the luckiest day of my life?"

"I think I'm the lucky one."

"I think we both are. I really love you, Paige," Emily admitted, quickly pulling Paige in for another kiss, not giving her the chance to respond. Paige's knees buckled and the card that she had been holding floated harmlessly to the floor. That was all the response that Emily needed, but Paige made sure that there was no doubt. "I love you, too," she breathed in between kisses, "So, so much."

As the kisses cooled down a bit, something occurred to Paige. "So, wait," she asked, "you ruined this blouse just so I'd go into Hanna's room and find the flowers?"

"I hope it's not ruined," Emily said, rubbing Paige's arms. "But, if it is, it was worth totally worth it! "This," she said, kissing her again, "is totally worth it."

"Ooh – you're so smooth, Fields!"

"Just kiss me, McCullers!"

Eventually, they moved their celebration to the couch in the living room. Over the course of a month, their make-out sessions had become more intense, though neither one of them felt ready or pressured to take it to the next level. They were simply enjoying each other and learning each other. While the progress of their emotional relationship had been a sprint, their physical relationship was shaping up to be a marathon, and they were content with that. They both were in it for the long haul.

As they lay next to each other on the couch, Emily asked, "So, do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Actually," Paige confessed, "I'm feeling a bit tired."

"Okay. I'll run you home. Let me grab a jacket."

"Well, actually, - I was hoping that I could sleep here tonight?"

"Paige, you can sleep over whenever you want!" Emily pressed their lips together. "Let's find you some pajamas."

Emily sprang up from the couch and took Paige's hands to help her to her feet. She cupped Paige's face in her hands, smoothing her fingers over Paige's lips as she told her, "You know, I really love your smile."

Paige hadn't realized that she was smiling until that moment. She felt more safe and comfortable than she ever could ever remember having felt before. This past month had been a blessing. The evening had been perfect. Paige turned face-to-face with Emily, tilted her head, and leaned in. Right at that moment, like a scene out of a bad sitcom, they heard the exaggerated rattling of a key in the door.

"Okay! Everybody dressed? I didn't see a sock on the door, so I'm coming in!" Hanna's voice was booming.

"For the love of God, Hanna! What did you think was going to happen here tonight?" Emily asked.

"I'm just saying, Em, if you had given _me_ those flowers and that card, I would be doing you on the kitchen table right now!"


	9. Meet the Parents

Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.  
– Ernest Hemingway

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" Paige asked for the hundredth time as Emily took her bags and loaded them into the trunk. "Pru and I were just planning to stay on campus."

"Paige, relax. I told you, my parents are looking forward to having you and Pru for Thanksgiving. They're dying to meet you!"

This assertion didn't relax Paige at all. She wasn't sure what the Fieldses' expectations were, but she _was_ sure that she wouldn't be able to live up to them. She also had to worry about the potentially awkward run-in with Maya, Emily's ex, in Rosewood. Emily noticed her girlfriend's still-furrowed brow, so she squeezed her hand and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "It'll be fine, I promise."

"Easy for you to say," Paige muttered under her breath.

The foursome had hit the road early on Wednesday afternoon, in hopes of avoiding traffic. (Dr. Markham, anticipating that many of her students would want to beat the rush and leave campus on the day before Thanksgiving, had scheduled an optional review session instead of that night's seminar.) Traffic wasn't horrible, but the trip was taking longer than they expected. As the trip grew steadily longer, Paige grew steadily more anxious. Seeing Paige's leg bouncing up and down in her peripheral vision was starting to annoy Emily. It didn't help when Paige spat out, "Do you think we should try some backroads? Maybe that will be faster."

"I'm pretty sure that we're going to hit traffic no matter what way we go."

"Well, check the GPS. Maybe it can route us around the traffic."

"Paige, I've driven home dozens of times. Just trust me - I know how to get there."

"I'm only trying to help. It just seems to me that we're not making that much progress this way."

"You know what I've found?" Emily was getting a little frustrated with the traffic and the advice. "I've found that driving is an activity that works best when only one person is doing it."

Pru and Hanna had been asleep in the back seat. Their heads popped up as the conversation in the front grew more animated.

"So, what does that mean?" Paige inquired.

Emily pinched the bridge of her nose and took a moment to calm herself down. "Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm just - just let me drive, okay? It's just traffic."

"Are you saying you wish you hadn't invited me?"

"What? No, Paige - jeez, calm down - I..."

"Don't tell me to calm down! If you don't want me to meet your parents anymore, you can just take me back to campus. It's not that far from here, considering how slowly we're moving!"

"Ouch!" Pru exclaimed from the back seat.

"Waaah," Hanna yelled, "I don't like it when Mommies fight!"

"I think Mommy might be having her lady times," Pru speculated.

"I think Mommy needs to get laid," Hanna threw back.

Paige turned around in her seat and gave them a death glare. Emily put a hand on Paige's thigh to soothe her, but Paige angrily brushed it off and turned her back to her, fixing her gaze out the window.

"All right!" Emily announced. "We're pulling off at the next rest stop. We could all use a break."

"Yay! Ice cream!" Pru yelled.

"Yay! Caffeine!" Hanna added.

The girls grabbed Starbucks and a table at the next rest area. Emily was seated next to Paige, and could feel Paige's eyes looking up at her, but she kept her own eyes focused intently on the logo emblazoned on the side of her cardboard cup as she ran her finger up and down its length. The mood was so tense that Hanna and Pru didn't even dare try to lighten it. They just kept moving their eyes back and forth between the two, like spectators at Wimbledon.

Finally, Paige broke the silence with a weak, "I'm sorry!" as she lightly placed her hand on Emily's forearm, to force her attention.

"It's okay," Emily replied, still engaged in a staring contest with the mermaid on her coffee cup.

"No, it's not," Paige continued, gripping her girlfriend's arm a little. "I'm just anxious about meeting your parents. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

"It's okay. I'm not mad."

"Emily, can you look at me?"

Emily transferred her death glare from the coffee cup onto Paige, making Paige wish that she hadn't asked. The two spectators gasped and averted their eyes. Paige turned away from Emily's intense stare, moving her hand from Emily's forearm and underneath the table, expelling a muted sigh. This finally got Emily's attention. She put her palms over her eyes and rubbed, then rolled her neck a couple of times. She knew that she had gone over the line, but she was having a hard time calming herself down under the intensity of everyone's scrutiny. She really needed to go off by herself, but she knew that, in her current mood, there was no way that she could explain this need to Paige without making her feel rejected. She reached into Paige's lap, grabbed her hand, and said, without emotion, "I need some air. Will you come with me, please?"

Pru's eyes widened as she was about to make an innuendo, but Hanna shut her down with a subtle shake of the head. She had seen Emily in this state before. Once Emily and Paige were out of earshot, she explained to Pru, "Emily is like a 747 jet. It takes a lot to get her going, but, once she's up there, it's hard for her to stop."

"Is Paige okay?"

"I hope so. Usually, when Em gets like this, she goes off by herself till she can calm down."

"So, why did she take Paige with her?"

"I don't know. Maybe, after Maya, she learned that leaving an upset, vulnerable girlfriend by herself isn't the best thing for a relationship."

Paige and Emily walked outside into the cold, Pennsylvania afternoon. Paige didn't know what to say, so she just huddled closer to Emily for warmth. Emily still wasn't looking at her, and Paige tried not to allow herself to be hurt by that. Emily was still holding her hand, though, rubbing her thumb across the back of it. She gripped it tighter, still looking off into the horizon, as she started to speak. "Paige, I'm sorry. I really am. I want you to understand that I'm not angry with you. It's just hard for me to calm down once I lose it."

Paige sensed that Emily still had more to say, so she just nodded her head and listened.

"I would never regret inviting you home with me -"

"I know, Emily. I shouldn't have said that!" Paige was desperate for Emily to look at her.

"I know that you know, Paige. But it's okay for you to say that. I know that our hearts sometimes make us fear things that our brains know aren't true, but, unless those fears are vocalized, they just get bigger and more troublesome. You can tell me anything, Paige. And even when I'm mad - even when I can't talk to you, nothing's going to make me not love you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know that you love me. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do..."

Paige really needed to see Emily's eyes; to _see_ that they were okay, not just hear it. She moved in front of Emily, and Emily gently latched onto her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss to her forehead. "Just be with me, please, Paige," Emily asked, her eyes weary and desperate.

"I want to. I want to be with you, Em." Paige hugged her closer and held the embrace. When the chill became too much, they headed back inside to the table where Hanna and Pru were waiting. Paige was holding Emily's left hand in her right, and rubbing Emily's shoulder with her left.

"Mommies are all better, now?" Hanna called out.

"Shut up, Hanna," Emily said, all but laughing. "Let's just get back on the road."

"Yay - Nice Mommies are back!" Pru squealed, clapping her hands.

"I'm not ready to go another round with these two," Paige joked to Emily. But at least they were taking her mind off of her fears of Rosewood.

As they pulled out of the rest area, they noticed that traffic had lightened up significantly during their timeout. Emily called her mom to let her know where they were and give her an ETA. "Okay," Pam Fields replied, "Your father and I will be here! We can't wait to meet Paige!" The whole car was listening to the conversation over the bluetooth. Emily's face flushed. Paige's anxiety eased, a bit, when she heard the eagerness in Pam's voice. Pru and Hanna let out a simultaneous, "Awww!" from the back seat.

"Mom..." Emily whined.

"Oh, and of course, we can't wait to see the rest of you girls, too, Emily! But take it slowly! Get here in one piece!"

* * *

The streetlights were just coming on when the four pulled into Rosewood. Paige was getting her final briefing. "Now, what should I call your mom? Mrs. Fields?"

"That would definitely work, but she's not as uptight about it as she used to be. She'll probably tell you to call her 'Pam.'"

"She'll probably tell you to call her 'Mom,'" Hanna interjected.

"Not helping, Hanna!" Emily said into the rear view mirror.

"And your dad goes by Lieutenant Colonel Fields?"

"Actually, you would just say 'Colonel Fields,' but 'Mr. Fields' is fine. Or 'Wayne,' I'm sure." Emily stroked Paige's thigh to calm her. "They're going to love you, Paige. Well, they already love you!"

Before long, they were in front of the house. As Emily fished for her house key, she told Paige, "Now, I have to warn you. My Mom is going to be a little... exuberant." As if on cue, the door burst open, and Paige found herself being lifted into a hug by a shorter version of Emily who was talking a mile a minute, "Oh, PAIGE! I'm so glad to meet you! You look even more beautiful than your pictures on Facebook! Welcome to Rosewood! I'm so glad you're going to spend your Thanksgiving with us!"

Paige looked over at Emily for help. Emily gave her an "I warned you" shrug. "Hi, Mom. HANNA and PRU can't stay. They just stopped by to say hi on their way to Hanna's. And, by the way, your DAUGHTER is here, too!"

"Oh, hi, Baby! Good to see you," Pam said, releasing Paige as she grabbed her daughter's cheek and gave her a kiss. "Nice to meet you, Pru," she said with a hug. "Welcome to Rosewood! Hanna - looking fabulous!" Paige noted that the one-armed hugs were hereditary. Well, except for the full-on bear hug that she'd gotten from Mrs. Fields. "Come inside, girls! Say hi to Wayne!"

Paige didn't know why she was surprised to see Col. Fields in civilian attire. Even though Emily had told her that he was on leave from his base in Texas for the holiday, she could only picture him in uniform. He greeted the girls warmly and asked Pru a couple of "getting to know you" questions before she and Hanna left. Once she had closed the door on those two, Pam Fields announced, "Okay! I hope everybody's hungry!"

Dinner with Emily's family turned out to be pretty much what Paige expected, not what she feared. Pam and Wayne made her feel at ease as she told them all about herself, her upbringing, and her studies. The way that they listened so intently reminded her of the the way that Emily engaged in her first conversation with Pru, at Hanna's art showing. Paige was looking back and forth among the three of them. Emily had obviously gotten her mom's looks and mannerisms, but Paige saw a lot of her dad in Emily's poise and bearing. She was obviously a daddy's girl. Being an only child herself, Paige could relate.

After a while, the conversation moved on, and Emily rolled her eyes as her parents started pulling out the embarrassing stories of her childhood. Col. Fields had a big, booming laugh and a tendency to poke his audience with his elbows to get them laughing, too. The whole experience didn't necessarily seem familiar to Paige, but it seemed to fit her.

Paige helped clear the table after dinner, and Pam grabbed her by the wrist, saying, "We'll leave my husband and Emmy to clean up. Let me give you the tour of the house!"

Mrs. Fields led her by the hand from the basement "rec room" to the upstairs bedrooms, ending the tour in the guest room, which smelled like fresh laundry. There were towels on the bed, as well as a bell. Pam noticed Paige's eye hesitate on the bell and explained, "We keep the alarm system on at night. I imagine that Paige has told you about all the shenanigans that went on in Rosewood when she was in high school." Paige nodded. "If you need to get up for a glass of water or anything, just ring the bell, and Wayne or I will turn off the alarm."

Paige wondered whether this was a not-so-subtle way of saying, "Now, don't try sneaking into my daughter's bedroom after hours!" Then again, Paige had to know how to turn off the alarm, didn't she?

Pam and Paige headed back downstairs to wait for Wayne and Emily to finish in the kitchen. They had the TV on, and Pam was working on the crossword puzzle from the newspaper. When they were finished in the kitchen, Wayne settled into his recliner, and Emily deposited a kiss on Paige's cheek before joining her on the love seat. Exhausted from driving, she laid her head on Paige's shoulder. Paige put her arm around Emily's shoulder and gathered her in. Soon, Emily was asleep, and Paige caught Mrs. Fields nudging her husband to point out how cute Emily looked asleep under Paige's arm.

* * *

On Thanksgiving day, Paige helped Emily set seven places at the table. Hanna, her mother, and Pru were joining them for dinner. Usually, Pam Fields had a lot more guests around her Thanksgiving table, but Emily had begged her not to overwhelm Paige.

Before they sat down to dinner, Col. Fields had everyone hold hands around the table while he gave thanks in a big, booming voice. After they sat, before they started passing the food around, they took turns telling what they were thankful for. When it was her turn, all that Paige could think was how genuinely grateful she was to be with family on Thanksgiving.


	10. Bed and Breakfast

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.  
\- George Bernard Shaw

Early on Sunday morning, the four girls piled into Emily's Toyota for the ride home. Paige offered to drive, because Emily was under the weather, but, when Emily said that she needed to lie down, the girls thought it best for Hanna to drive so that Emily could stretch out in the backseat. She settled in with her head on Paige's lap fell asleep as Paige gently stroked her hair.

Paige was too distracted to fall asleep. She kept thinking about the weekend and how right it felt, being with Emily's family. She knew that this sense of "family" is what she wanted with Emily; - not marriage and children (well, not yet, anyway), but a sense of belonging; of being able to give herself completely to Emily. They had already given themselves to each other emotionally. Paige was ready to give herself physically.

* * *

"So," Pru began, the following evening, sitting across a table from Paige in Campus Grounds, "I'm guessing that you want to talk about Emily."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm here and she's not. The only time we have dinner together is when it's the four of us…"

"I'm sorry, Pru. I didn't mean to neglect you."

"And I don't feel neglected. But you see my point?"

"So, right. This is about Emily. I've been thinking, since last weekend…"

Paige drifted off, so Pru started to speculate. "What? About her little meltdown? Paige, don't worry about it. Hanna told me that's just how she gets sometimes. We all have our moments."

"I know. Pru. It's not about that. I just – I don't know. Everything just felt so right with Emily and her parents, you know? It felt like going home. I felt as if I've always been a part of her life. It just seems that we're so emotionally connected that…" Paige couldn't say it.

"You're ready to connect physically, too?"

"Is that crazy? I haven't known her that long, and I've never had a girlfriend before."

"No, Paige, it's not crazy at all. It's not as if the two of you are a pair of sex-crazed teenagers. You and Emily are both adults, and everyone can see how connected you are. If it feels right, if you're sure, then you should go with it."

"It does. It does feel right – to me, at least. But I don't know how to take the next step. Do I just seduce her?"

"Whoa – back up. That could get really awkward. Emily's older, and she knows that you've never been with anyone before, so, knowing her, she's going to worry about taking advantage of you. If you start to tease her, she's going to feel conflicted and uncomfortable."

"So, what do I do, Pru?"

"You just need to talk to her, Paige, like two mature adults. Some night when you're close, tell her just what you told me. Just open the door. Nothing has to happen right away, but let her know that you're ready for the two of you to start thinking about it."

"Really? Just tell her?"

"Yes. Just make sure that you don't have the talk when something intimate is going on, or she'll worry that you're just reacting to the moment."

"I don't think see how I could talk about that, Pru."

"Do you want to practice with me?"

"Oh, God, no! Shit – seriously?"

"Okay, okay – bad idea. But practice in front of the mirror, if it makes you less nervous."

"What if she rejects me?" Paige sighed, looking down into her lap.

Pru grabbed her hands. "Oh, Paige, Honey, that would never happen. She _adores_ you, it's so obvious. I mean, there's a possibility that she's not ready, or that she'll be worried that you're not ready, but she'd never reject you."

Deep down, Paige knew that her best friend was telling the truth. She just needed to hear someone say it.

The week went by – Wednesday's seminar, Thursday's study date, Friday's dinner date – and Paige still hadn't worked up the nerve to have the talk with Emily. Saturday night, they had plans to grab dinner and meet up with Hanna and Pru to hit some of the parties on Fraternity Row. Paige decided to fire off a text to Emily, before she could chicken out.

"Hey, Em, would you mind coming over a little early tonight? There's something I want to ask you."

"Sure, Paige. What time? Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. How about 4:30?"

"See you then! XO"

* * *

As she headed up the stairs to Paige's room, Emily began to wonder what was on Paige's mind. It was only when Paige opened the door, and Emily saw how nervous she was, that she started to worry.

"Hey, Baby, is everything okay?" When they kissed, Emily could feel Paige tremblingg.

"Can we just sit down on the bed for a bit?"

"Okay – now you're scaring me. What's happening, Paige?"

Paige took a deep breath. "It's nothing bad. It' just… Ugh!"

Paige couldn't stop fidgeting. Emily grabbed her hands and started rubbing them with her thumb. "You know that you can tell me anything, right? You know that I love you?"

That last phrase gave Paige a window of courage. She decided to spit it out, before the window closed. "Okay, Emily. Well, ever since we went to Rosewood for Thanksgiving, I just felt, like, really – connected with you. I mean, we've always had a great connection, but I just felt, like part of you." _Oh, God. She's going to think I'm being a needy, clingy, psycho girlfriend!_

"Oh, Paige, I feel exactly the same!" The window on Paige's confidence was rising again. She started idly fiddling with the buttons on Emily's shirt.

"Yeah, so… I was just thinking that… I just wanted you to know that I think that… it's – that it makes sense that, I mean, it's okay that we connect - physically. The way that we connect emotionally."

"Oh_ So…" This was not the talk that Emily was expecting.

"Yeah. I mean, I can wait. I just wanted to tell you, so you'd know. And I wanted to tell you before we went to out tonight so you'd know it wasn't just because I was drunk. Or something. God – this was so much better when Pru and I discussed it."

Emily wanted to laugh at the thought of Paige telling all of this to Pru, and how Pru had reacted, but she could see how hard it was for her girl. "Paige, it's fine. I know what you're saying. I understand completely. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to be this frank with me. And I want this, too." Paige looked up at her, surprised to hear this. Emily leaned in and kissed her. "Let's make our first time something really special."

Paige tucked herself under Emily's arm and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist. "What did you have in mind?"

"Let's plan a weekend getaway, just the two of us – no phones, no tablets, no studying. Hanna has a friend who can get us into a bed and breakfast over in the mountains for practically nothing. We can spend a couple of days just really getting to know each other. What do you think?"

"I think it sounds perfect!"

* * *

Paige tried her best to busy herself with work all week, knowing that, if she didn't, time would drag on and on. There were two dates that she was looking forward to: Thursday night, when she and Pru were going to go shopping for lingerie, and Friday night, when the weekend was to begin.

Wednesday night was particularly awkward. Hanna obviously knew what was going on, since Emily had to go through her to get the hotel room, but Emily must have told her not to say a word, because she didn't. At dinner, she just kept staring between the two of them with a goofy grin and the occasional squeal of delight. During the seminar, instead of drawing her usual assortment of scantily clad beefy boys, she went with a retrospective of women's undergarments through the ages.

Friday night, a light snow was falling as they headed out to the mountains. The forecast called for snow in the area of the bed and breakfast, too, but there wasn't supposed to be much accumulation. Paige was looking forward to snuggling in front of the fireplace and watching the snow come down.

Emily knew Paige well enough to know that she needed to talk to the girl to keep her nerves at bay. Emily began telling her about building snow forts and having snowball fights with her dad, her hands freezing through her gloves until she wrapped them around her mother's warm hot chocolate, huddled up next to her by the fire. Paige told her of ice skating on the lake with her parents, of making snow angels and snow cones with Pru, of feeling at home in winter more than in summer. The miles sailed by, and it wasn't long before they were checking in to the B & B. They had stopped at a bakery on the way and picked up some panini, having decided just to stay in for a low-key first evening. Emily changed into an oversized chemise and boy-shorts. Paige changed into footie pajamas that made Emily just want to eat her up. They grabbed a blanket and ate by the light of the fireplace in their room. Hanna's friend had a bottle of wine waiting for them, and they uncorked it and settled in to one another's bodies, enjoying the moment.

Paige, who was under Emily's arm, leaned over and began kissing Emily's collar bone. She worked her hand under Emily's chemise, stroking along her waistline as she moved the kisses up Emily's neck. Emily leaned her head back, offering more of herself to her girlfriend. This was familiar territory for them; a well-travelled route in their previous romantic encounters. Emily took them down a new road, taking Paige's hand under her chemise and moving it up to her breast, moaning as Paige caressed her there. Soon, Paige had both hands under the chemise, and soon the chemise came off. Paige was momentarily hypnotized by the sight of Emily's chest as the shadows cast by the fire danced up and down their expanse. Emily took advantage of Paige's momentary paralysis and pushed her onto her back, looking down at her to confirm that she was okay with this. Emily kissed her hard, massaging her breasts through the soft pajamas. Paige was rapidly coming undone. The Velcro closure of her pajamas also came undone, and Emily found herself flesh-on-flesh with Paige's chest. She moved her head down and began licking and sucking Paige's nipples. Paige tangled her hands in Emily's hair, arching into her mouth, gasping and screaming. Without realizing it, she had reached a hand underneath her pajamas and started stroking deeply into herself. When Emily saw it, she grabbed Paige's wrist. Paige was embarrassed at what she had done on instinct, until Emily pulled her fingers to her mouth and sucked them clean. That got Paige incredibly wet, and she couldn't help squeezing her legs together, desperate for release. Emily snaked a hand down into her pajamas and began giving her what she needed, curling her finger deep inside Paige. She removed the pajama bottoms, clearing the pathway for her to kiss up and down Paige's inner thighs. "God, Paige – you're so beautiful!"

Paige began arching more urgently into Emily's fingers, moaning Emily's name over and over. Emily smoothed her left hand along Paige's ass, squeezing it lightly in the rhythm that her right hand was maintaining inside her. She began flicking at Paige's clit with her tongue, causing Paige's moans to change into shrill cries. Paige clenched tight around Emily's fingers before she let out a gasp and shuddered to a halt. Emily continued caressing Paige's ass and her thighs, depositing kisses just below her navel, while Paige came down.

Paige pulled her lover face-to-face with her, both hands tangled in Emily's hair, and just smiled at her. Finally, she kissed her. "That was incredible."

Emily stood up and helped Paige into the bed. As they reclined, Emily held out her arm, and Paige tucked herself under it. She began drawing lazy figure eights along Emily's bare stomach. Emily kissed the top of her head. Paige sat herself on Emily's waist, leaned down, and started kissing Emily and massaging her breasts. She rubbed her hands up and down Emily's sides as her head descended from lips to neck to breasts. She coaxed Emily over, so that she was lying on her stomach, and began kissing and rubbing her back, working her way downward. She pulled down Emily's boy-shorts and started kissing and rubbing her ass. She continued the journey south, spreading Emily's legs and kissing her wetness from behind. Emily rolled over and lightly pressed Paige's head into her crotch. "Ha ha!" Paige shouted in triumph, burying her face inside Emily. Emily bucked and writhed, her hands forcing Paige's head deeper; her thighs involuntarily closing around Paige like a vise. Paige began scratching Emily's thighs, and Emily couldn't control her screams. Paige moved a thumb to Emily's clit, and Emily came around her with a gasp.

Paige kissed her way back up Emily's body, finally placing a chaste kiss on her lips. The two lay facing each other, lazily caressing. "Hey," Emily said, breaking the silence, "Guess what."

"What?" Paige asked.

"We've still got another day and a half here!"


	11. When the Fire Goes Out

We grieve only for what we know has happened, but we fear all that possibly may happen.  
\- Pliny the Elder

_Paige woke up freezing in the middle of the night. She realized that the fire must have gone out. That's the problem with fireplaces: They're romantic as long as you stoke the flames, but a moment of neglect and the flame goes out, leaving you cold._

_Paige scooted over to snuggle up to Emily for warmth, but Emily wasn't in bed with her. She called out to her, but there was no reply. She thought that Emily must have gone to put some more logs on the fire. Wrapping a blanket around herself, she got up and looked for her lover, but Emily was nowhere to be found._

_The fire had gone out and Paige was getting colder._

_Paige noticed that Emily's suitcase and purse were gone. She looked outside and saw that the car wasn't there. She began to panic, crying out for Emily. She noticed a note with her name on it: "Paige, I'm so sorry. This isn't working for me. Pru is on her way to pick you up and take you back to campus. XO – Emily."_

_There was no fire. It was cold._

_Paige couldn't believe what she was reading. Tears blurred her vision and grew into deep, guttural sobs as she tried to cry out Emily's name but could form no words. Her worst nightmare had come true. She had given herself in the most intimate way to the woman whom she loved, and the woman rejected her._

_No fire.  
Cold. _

* * *

Emily woke up to the sound of soft crying next to her in the bed. She looked over and saw that the woman whom she loved had crawled out from under the blankets and was lying at the far edge of the bed in a fetal position. Emily felt enormous guilt. She had been certain that Paige was ready for what had happened between them the night before. Paige certainly seemed to think that she was ready, but they were both wrong. Clearly, Paige was regretting it. Emily was devastated. She didn't know what to say or do. She wanted to comfort Paige, but Paige seemed to want space; she had, after all crawled away from both Emily's warmth and the warmth of the blankets. Emily, heartbroken, got up to go sleep on the couch and give Paige the space that she needed.

Just as Emily stirred, Paige's low weeping turned into loud sobs, and Emily couldn't bear it anymore. She had to try _something_ to fix this. She reached out for Paige's shoulder and whispered her name. Paige startled awake at the touch, turned and saw Emily, and grabbed her in a desperately tight hug, her fists pressed hard into Emily's back as she wept uncontrollably into her shoulder. "Don't Leave Me!" she shrieked between sobs, weeping Emily's name over and over and pleading for her not to leave.

Emily just kept rubbing Paige's back as she cradled her head. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere." She had no idea what had set this off. It was several minutes before Paige was composed enough to explain. "I had a dream," she began, as she wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm. "I woke up, and you weren't here. You had left. There was a note. You rejected me." Paige felt like an idiot hearing it out loud. "I'm sorry, it just - it seemed so real," she concluded softly.

"It's okay," Emily soothed, clutching Paige tighter. "I know how horrible that must have felt."

"I was so frightened and so alone, Emily. And it was so cold."

"The fire went out," Emily observed. "I'll go relight it."

Paige pulled Emily back in before she could get away. "No, don't leave me!"

"I won't. I won't," Emily assured. She used one arm to pull the blankets up around them, then gathered Paige into the warmth of her body, kissing her on the top of her head and stroking her back. Paige felt very small in her lover's arms. "I'm pathetic," she said, barely audibly. Emily drew her in for a long, lingering kiss. "It was a bad dream, Paige. Everybody gets them." Paige nodded and let herself drift back to sleep.

Once Emily was sure that Paige was deeply asleep, she got out of bed, found her chemise from the night before and threw it over herself, and went to rekindle the fire. She was trying to hurry, because she really didn't want Paige to wake up to an empty bed. Emily was no expert on the subconscious, but she understood that Paige's nightmare had sprung from some deep-rooted fear that Emily would reject or abandon her after she had made herself completely vulnerable to Emily. Emily was resolved to do whatever it took to reinforce to Paige that she was there to stay.

* * *

Paige's second wake-up was much less traumatic than her first. Her head was on Emily's chest, her arm around Emily's waist, their legs tangled together. "Hey, when did you get dressed?" she asked, tugging at Emily's chemise and letting her hand roam beneath it.

After a few more lazy moments in bed, the lovers decided to get cleaned up and head out for breakfast and a bit of exploration. There wasn't much snow or wind, so they decided just to bundle up and leave the car behind. The breakfast room was almost deserted by the time the two late-sleepers made it down. They joined an older couple who made the trip to the B&B every year and who were delighted to tell the girls all of the must-see places that they should explore on foot. Emily was taking it all in, and Paige was surprised. She knew that Emily was an engaged listener, but she was reacting as if she had never heard of any of the sights before. Paige had just assumed that Emily had been there before – with Maya. She had never asked, because she really didn't want to think about it.

After the older couple excused themselves, Paige asked Emily, "You've come here before, haven't you?"

"A couple of times," Emily confirmed. "I've heard of most of the places that they talked about, but not all of them. I was just really enjoying how excited they were getting telling us about them." Paige grabbed Emily's hand, thinking how sweet that was.

After a pause, but before she thought it through, Paige asked, "You came here with Maya?"

Emily knew that this question was coming. They'd never really talked about her ex-girlfriend, and, honestly, Emily didn't really ever think about her.

"Yeah. I did."

"It's okay. I know that she's in your past."

"Paige, she's definitely in my past. And I'm in the present. With you. I'm not here thinking about what this place was like with Maya. In all honesty, I hardly ever think of her at all. I hope that you don't think that you have to measure yourself against Maya. You'd win, hands down, every time. You can ask Hanna – my mom; anyone. They'll tell you the same thing."

As reassuring as it felt to hear Emily say that, Paige felt bad. She really wasn't asking out of jealousy or insecurity, and she didn't want Emily to feel that she had to prove her love. She had been proving it to Paige from the night that they first kissed. Paige reached out and grabbed Emily's forearm with both of her hands. "Emily, you don't have to convince me. You prove your love to me every day, in everything that you do. I really wasn't asking because I was jealous or worried."

Emily smiled. "Okay. Thanks."

"It _was_ really nice to hear, though!" Paige opened her mouth as though she were about to say something else, but then she closed it with a sigh and a forlorn look.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just really want to kiss you right now, but I don't know how it would go over in this place, with people of this generation." Emily sadly nodded in understanding.

* * *

"Oh, no you didn't, McCullers! You are so dead!"

Emily and Paige were looking off into a mountain crest, enjoying the moment and each other, when Paige gently cupped her girlfriend's cheek - and smashed a snowball in her face. Before Emily was able to react, Paige had gotten a couple of steps on her and fled the scene, laughing. Emily caught up with her and grabbed her from behind, but they lost their footing on the slippery ground and tumbled over each other. At that moment, they were the only two people in the world, and nothing else could matter. Only, of course, they weren't the only two people. Paige looked up in shock to see the couple from that morning's breakfast eyeing them with a confused expression. The wife tugged on the husband's arm, smiling, and pulled him aside to give the lovers some privacy. "I told you that you'd love this trail," he called out to them as he was towed from the scene.

Paige sprang to her feet and began sprinting back to the B&B. "I'll race you back to the room," she shouted behind her. Everything - last night's romance, the dream (or, rather, Emily's response to it), and the romp in the snow - was coming together and making Paige incredibly turned on.

Emily chased after her lover, laughing. She had never seen this playful side of Paige before, and she liked it. "Come on," Paige yelled, and she took off her snow cap and tossed it to the ground. Emily ran and retrieved it. A few yards later, Paige's scarf came off, and Emily dutifully chased it down. Next, it was her coat. Paige _was_ being playful, but the fact was, her body was getting incredibly warm - and not just because of the run.

She got back to the room ahead of Emily and hid at the side of the doorway. When Emily stepped into the room, Paige tackled her from behind, yelling, "I won! I won!" and bouncing up and down on top of her girlfriend. Emily managed to turn herself over onto her back, and she grabbed Paige's arms and pulled her in for a kiss. Paige kissed her ravenously, biting at her lip, excavating with her tongue, and ripping desperately at her layers of clothes. "What's gotten into you," Emily laughed. Paige deposited a long, passionate kiss on her lips. "I'm horny!" she replied.

Paige stood up and headed toward the bathroom. "You start the fire," she told Emily. "I'll be right back."

"Well, obviously, the fire's already been started," Emily mumbled to herself as she did as she was told, laughing at her lover's antics as the flames rose up within both her and the fireplace.

Paige came back into the room holding a towel in front of her as a veil. She was singing, "Like a virgin - touched for the very first time" slowly, drawling the words in a husky, sexy voice as she danced toward Emily, undulating suggestively against the towel. Emily dropped the lighter that had used to start the fire and stood up, eyes agog. "Can't you feel my heartbeat... for the very first time," Paige continued, dropping the towel leaving herself completely exposed except for a pair of Santa boxers. Emily snickered. "So," Paige said matter-of-factly as she gazed unflinching into Emily's eyes and moved herself impossibly close, "Why are you still dressed?"

Emily had already been kicking herself for not having had the foresight to get out of her clothes. But having Paige take them off was a much more erotic experience. Paige never looked away from her eyes as she slowly undid the buttons on Emily's sweater, biting her lip with a devilish grin, intentionally fondling Emily in the process and subtly grinding into her crotch. Emily reached out to touch her, but Paige arched her body away, still gazing into Emily's eyes with that smile, wagging her finger back and forth and playfully shaking her head no. Emily dropped her hands to her side and let Paige take over. Paige leaned back in, spun Emily around, and fondled her backside a bit before she reached around and started undoing Emily's pants. Emily had put her hair up as she worked on the fire, and Paige took advantage by kissing the back of her neck. The kisses were sloppy and wet, accentuated with an occasional bite. Paige's hands, meanwhile, were no longer focused on Emily's pants but on what lay underneath them. She continued her assault on Paige's neck, grinding into her from the back as Emily was grinding into Paige's fingers in the front. The sounds that Emily was making were driving Paige over the edge. She turned Emily around and began giving her deep, hungry, penetrating kisses that forced Emily's head backwards. All the while, Paige's fingers continued to work below Emily's waistline, her other hand deftly removing her bra. Paige began massaging and sucking at Emily's breasts, slowly moving lower until her mouth caught up with where her other hand had been steadily working. She yanked the rest of Emily's clothes down to her ankles and knelt in front of her, her hands roughly caressing Emily's ass as her tongue worked her over. Emily was screaming by this time, her hands in Paige's hair, bucking against Paige's face as she spiraled out of control. Paige moved her hand down to give Emily what she needed to send her over the edge. Feeling Emily's knees start to buckle, she put her arms around her back to provide some support as she continued to pepper her thighs with kisses.

"Shit, Paige," Emily exclaimed when she could finally form words again. "What the hell came over you?"

Paige dipped her head. "I guess I just really like it up here."

Emily grabbed her by the head and pulled her in for a deep kiss. "Yeah. I really like it up here, too." She threw the shocked and yelping girl over her shoulder, smacked her on the Santa boxers, and deposited her unceremoniously onto the bed. Paige looked up at her, laughing, unconsciously parting her legs a little. She _really_ liked it up there.

* * *

Too soon, the romantic mornings in bed and the evenings beside the fire came to an end. The weekend had been perfect. Her first time - their first time – had been perfect, better than Paige could ever have hoped. But the weekend was behind them, in their memory banks now, as they drove back to campus. Paige looked at herself in the mirror on the visor in front of her seat. From the outside, she looked the same, but, on the inside, she knew that everything was different, and that there was no going back. She wouldn't want to. Whatever happened, wherever life took them, together or apart, she knew that she was now and would always be a part of Emily, as Emily would always be a part of her.

"You're quiet," Emily pointed out. "Everything okay?"

Paige nodded with a sigh and laid her hand on Emily's thigh. "I'm just thinking. I feel so content. I'm so glad that we took this trip, Emily."

Emily smiled at her radiant girlfriend. "I'm glad, too. I love you, Paige."

* * *


	12. The New Normal

The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.  
– Raymond Chandler

"Oh! I never turned my phone back on," Paige suddenly realized. "It was kind of nice, living without it this weekend."

"You don't have to turn it on, yet, you know. We can have a few more blissful hours off the grid for the drive home."

"I just want to take a quick look, just in case there was an emergency," Paige said as her phone came to life. "Um – 80 texts from Pru. And they're all in caps: 'WELL?' 'TELL ME!' 'DEEEEEETS!' 'DYING HERE!' Plus, 60 texts from unknown in 267. I'm guessing that's – "

"Hanna!" They said in unison.

Paige switched off her phone.

* * *

Emily nudged her sleeping girlfriend. "Hey."

"Hey," Paige replied sleepily. "Where are we?"

"About an hour and a half from campus."

"Oh. I fell asleep," Paige said through a yawn, stretching her arms and legs as best she could in the confined space of the Toyota's front seat.

"I know. I'm bored. Distract me."

Paige inched closer to the driver's seat with a devilish smile on her face.

"No, not like that," Emily laughed. "I don't want to swerve off the side of the road."

"Do you want me to drive for a while?"

"No – that's all right. Just keep me awake."

"Well, we could play 'Ask me anything.'"

"I'm guessing that's exactly what it sounds like?"

"Pretty much…"

"Okay. You first. Ask me anything."

"Hmm… Okay: What was your first time like?"

Emily laughed. "We're jumping right in, aren't we? Well. My first time was pretty forgettable. Maya and I were young, and we had no idea what we were doing. We just did it to prove a point, you know? – That it was okay for girls to do things with girls. It was nothing like _our_ first time. With you and me, it was just the natural progression of our love. The first time with Maya was all about rebellion and making a statement. Any more questions?"

"Well, yeah – a ton, but that's not how the game works. You have to ask me a question. And don't waste your question asking about my first time, because you were there." Paige laughed. "And it was perfect, by the way."

Emily reached out and squeezed Paige's knee. "Aww – I think it was, too! So, first crush?"

Paige sighed. "Okay. This is really cliché, but my first crush was my best friend."

"Pru?"

"You're not allowed to ask two questions, but, yes, Pru. Pru and I were so close for as long as I could remember. We laughed together, cried together, had epic fights with each other, hugged, lay in bed talking all night till we fell asleep... Anyway, so, I started to realize that I was a girl who liked girls, and I realized that it wasn't just girls in general, but Pru in particular.

"So, one day, I sat her down, and I just told her. 'Listen. I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian.' She did a double-take, but then she gave me a big hug and said that she'd love me no matter what. And then, I told her that I had a crush on her."

Emily cringed, sucking air through her teeth. "So, you just came right out with it. Awkward…"

"Yeah, it was. But not for the reasons you would think. Pru was absolutely great about it. She hugged me again, and she said, 'I really wish I loved girls too, 'cause we would make an awesome couple, but – yeah.' And she just kept on acting the way she always acted around me – like, not worried about hugs, or walking arm in arm, or sleepovers. I was the one who was awkward, and not because of unrequited love. I just felt that I had exposed myself to her, you know? And that, as cool as she was being, she could never see me the same again."

"But, obviously, you guys worked it out."

"Nice, how you managed to ask two more questions without actually asking them," Paige smiled. "But, yeah. I got over myself. I realized that she just saw _me_ – not the lesbian, not the girl who had a crush with her. I could be who I was with her, and it wouldn't change anything."

"Aw – that's sweet."

"That's how I feel with you," Paige said softly, dipping her head. Emily grabbed her knee again. "Don't make me pull this car over, McCullers!"

* * *

Once again, Emily had to nudge her girlfriend awake, this time as she was shutting off the engine. "Hey. We're here." Emily helped Paige carry her luggage up to the room. As they turned the corner, they saw Hanna and Pru sitting cross-legged on either side of Emily's doorway, staring into their phones as they talked to each other. Hanna saw them approach and let out a squeal. Soon, Emily and Paige found themselves being crushed by their best friends in a group hug.

"Hanna, what the hell? How long have you guys been sitting out here?"

"Uh – all night! You guys were ignoring our texts, so we didn't know when you would be getting here."

"And you couldn't just wait to see us tomorrow?"

"No!" Pru shouted before Emily even finished her question. She grabbed Emily's jaw and shook it back and forth. "My little Paige left a girl and came back a woman, and we have to know all about it!"

"Oh, God!" Paige was unable to deal. "Oh, Hell no! We are _not_ doing this here – or anywhere. Or ever!"

"Oh, come on, Paige! You have to give us something! We were rooting for you!"

"Yeah," Hanna agreed, "For both of you! Team Paily all the way!" Turning to Emily, she added, "Plus, you kind of owe me – I mean, I did get you that. room…"

Paige looked at her girlfriend, her eyes begging for help. Emily just smiled. "You know they're not going to let this go until we give them something."

"Ugh. Fine – But not here in the hallway. Get inside!"

No sooner had the door closed than Hanna and Pru started firing off a stream of questions like a machine gun.

"Any road sex in the car on the way up?"  
"Did you throw her on the table and jump her bones?"  
"Who topped?"  
"Is she a freak?"  
"Is she a screamer?"

Hanna changed the pace, inching up to the pair slowly and suggestively. "Were there any… _toys_ involved?"

"Oh God, Hanna – Have you guys been fantasizing about the two of us all weekend?" Emily asked.

Hanna and Pru looked at each other for a moment, then back to their best friends, nodding and replying with an enthusiastic, "Yes!"

"Okay!" an exasperated Paige shouted. "I'm only going to say this once. It was beautiful, perfect – not just the sex, but the whole weekend. We talked, we hung out, we rested, and we gave ourselves to each other. And it was a precious gift, and I don't want to cheapen by having you two drool over it like horny teenage boys. It was two people who love and trust each other coming together and becoming one with each other. It was all that I hoped for, and more."

This was too much for Emily. She drew Paige into an intimate hug, kissing her with all she had. Hanna and Pru squealed with delight, high fiving each other. It took a while for them to realize that the girls weren't planning to separate anytime soon.

"We'd better get out of here before they start Round 2," Pru whispered.

"More like round 4 or 5," Hanna speculated.

Before the door closed behind them, Paige disengaged from Emily's lips and corrected her. "7."

* * *

Paige began spending less and less time in the dorms, as more of her belongings migrated to Hanna and Emily's apartment. Paige had gotten used to waking up to Hanna's mural every morning, and she really missed it. It wasn't just the beautiful way that it symbolized her relationship with Emily; it was the memory of the weekend when old friends and new came together to brighten her corner of the world. Of course, Paige knew that she would have to leave it behind at the end of the school year, and, of course, she had pictures of it (It was the banner on all of her social media accounts and the background on her phone and her laptop.), but those facts didn't make her miss it any less. It was silly: Waking up with Emily was so much better than waking up with the mural, but that's the thing about feelings. They can't just be reasoned away. One night, after Emily had fallen asleep, Paige tiptoed out of bed and opened up her laptop on the desk across from the bed so that she could fall asleep and wake up to the image of the mural. When she crept back into Emily's big spoon, Emily asked, "Are you all right?" "Mm hmm," she murmured with a low sigh. She hoped that Emily wouldn't figure out what she had done and how silly she was being. She grabbed Emily's arm and wrapped it around her as she continued to stare into the laptop.

For the most part, moving in with Emily was like a dream. Naturally, there was some of that tension which comes as two individuals figure out how to live with each other. The fact that Paige and Emily had both grown up as only children didn't help matters. When things got tense, Hanna often served as a buffer. She was fiercely protective of and deeply loyal to both of them, and she was highly invested in their relationship.

Sometimes, their living arrangement. was just plain weird. Paige once told Emily that it felt as though they were the parents of an adolescent daughter.

Paige never forgot Pru's joking comment that they only got together when it was the four of them, and after she moved in with Paige, she made it a point to see Pru one-on-one at least once a week. She wasn't doing it just for Pru; she didn't want to sacrifice that part of her life as she moved on to a new life.

* * *

Paige could tell by the way that Hanna was behaving that something was up. Hanna had been bouncing around in anticipation from the moment Paige walked through the door. Paige looked questioningly over at Emily on the couch, but Emily just shrugged and blew her a kiss. "So what am I missing?" Paige asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Hanna was beaming. It had to be something big. "Why don't you go lie down for a bit? You look tired." Emily just shook her head and smiled into the b _o_ ok she was reading.

_Okay - whatever it is, it's in the bedroom._

Paige opened the door and gasped in shock. She ran back and grabbed Hanna in a bear hug. "How?"

"I know some people," Hanna said casually.

Hanna was friends with the technician who oversaw the art department's large-format printer. She took a high-resolution picture of the mural from Paige's dorm room and had it enlarged and silk-screened onto a giant canvas. "That way, you can take it with you after the school year."

"Thank you! That's the sweetest thing anyone could have done for me!"

Hanna shrugged it off. "Thank your girlfriend. She's the sweet one. It was her idea. I only went along because I needed some good pictures of my work for my portfolio."

Emily had gotten up from the couch and joined them. "I know how much you missed it."

"I knew that this had to be your idea," Paige said before kissing her. "You are the sweetest girlfriend ever! I can't believe you would give up your wall just so that I could have my mural back."

"Paige, that mural isn't just you. It's both of us. It's special to me, too." Paige just kept peppering her with kisses. "Although, apparently, not as special as it is to you!"

"What did I tell you, Em?" Hanna interjected. "You are so getting laid tonight!"

"Yeah," Paige confirmed, dragging her beaming girlfriend behind her, "She _so_ is!"

* * *


	13. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13... an unlucky number...

It is the false shame of fools to try to conceal wounds that have not healed.  
\- Horace

"I'm telling you, that girl at the bar is staring at you."

"Paige, you're acting crazy. Why would a girl be staring at me?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Yes. It's obvious that I'm on a date with my _girlfriend_." Emily took Paige's hand as she said this. "Now can we just forget about that girl and enjoy our dinner?"

Paige let it go for a while. She and Emily had a grueling couple of week of exams and papers ahead of them, so they decided to treat themselves to dinner at a nice restaurant in Philly before they had to buckle down and get to work. But Paige kept getting distracted by the woman at the bar, and Emily was starting to get annoyed.

"She's coming over here."

"She's what?" Emily asked, turning around. "Oh, shit!" Emily slumped down in her seat, as if that would make the woman walk by without seeing her.

"What?"

Emily's ex-girlfriend, Maya St. Germain, was approaching their table, looking stunning. And a little tipsy.

"It's Maya, my ex. Listen – don't let her get to you, okay? She likes to fuck with people." Paige raised an eyebrow suggestively. "You know what I mean…"

'Emily Fields! It is so great to see you," Maya oozed, leaning in for a hug and kissing her ex-girlfriend on the cheek.

"Maya. Hi." Emily was in no mood, as her tone made plain.

"And you must be Paige," Maya continued, giving Paige the same hug and kiss greeting that she had just given her ex. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Maya," Paige said out of obligation.

"So, how are you enjoying freshman year?"

"I'm enjoying it! It was a bit of an adjustment from high school, and being so far away from home, but now that I'm sort of in a groove, I'm enjoying it." Emily was stabbing at her salad, which had suddenly become the most interesting sight that she had ever beheld. Paige wasn't used to seeing her like this. She was usually so interested in conversation.

"And have you declared a major yet?"

"Not yet. Still exploring my options, but I'm narrowing it down. I want to do something related to education or social work. I'm thinking psychology, maybe."

"Well, you've still got time to sort it out. Anyway, don't let me interrupt your date. I just wanted to stop by and say hello. Nice to meet you, Paige! And, Emily, it's good to see you again."

Paige watched Maya leave, then looked over at her girlfriend. Emily was shaking her head and muttering to herself. "What?" Paige asked.

"Ugh. She's so fucking annoying. Like what was she up to? ' _How are you adjusting to your new school and my old girlfriend? Have you two declared anything yet?'_ "

"Emily, she was just making polite conversation. What's eating you?"

"Really? You couldn't see through that? Really? God – that psychotic… manipulative… bitch!"

"I don't get it. Shouldn't I be the one getting upset at running into your ex?" Paige was trying to de-escalate the situation by making a joke. Emily just glared at her.

"Okay – what did she do to you?"

"What?"

"I mean, it's obvious that she did something, the way you're reacting. We've never really talked about your break-up, and maybe you'd feel better if you talked about it."

"Oh, please – you're not my psychologist, okay, Paige? I don't need you to analyze my feelings about my bitch ex-girlfriend. I just came out to have a nice dinner with my girlfriend, not to get some sort of catharsis over my failed relationship."

Paige threw her napkin on the table and backed her chair away a little, crossing her arms in front of her and staring at her lap. The fight left Emily when she saw her girlfriend like that. "Paige, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't let her get to me."

"Yeah - and you shouldn't get mad at me because you're mad at her."

"You're right. I know. I'm sorry."

"It's just – you never talk about her, and it's obvious you're hurting over it, and I think you need to talk about it if you're ever going to move on. Aren't I allowed to say that?"

"Of course you are, Paige. I shouldn't have jumped down your throat like that. Forgive me?"

Paige still had her head down, and her shoulders started bobbing up and down. "Shit – please don't cry, Paige. I'm really sorry…"

Paige looked up, and Emily saw that she was laughing. She shot her a confused look.

"It's stupid. I shouldn't be laughing. I just can't stop thinking, 'I came out to have a good time, and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now!'"

Emily thought it over a second and started to laugh. She grabbed Paige's hand and told her, "Listen, Paige, we'll talk about it, I promise. Just not tonight, okay? Tonight's our night to have fun before all the stress of the next couple of weeks."

"Yeah," Paige agreed. "So, we're starting over?"

"I would love to start over."

"Okay. So, guess what movie's playing at the Roxy tonight…" Paige's voice was playful.

"What movie?" Emily played along, intrigued.

Paige pulled up the movie app on her phone and showed Emily the poster for "Rudy," playing at one of the revival movie houses in Society Hill.

"Oh, no way!" Emily sat up in her seat, unable to hide her excitement before she remembered Paige's reaction the time that they watched the movie on Emily's laptop. Emily, unable to believe that Paige had never seen it, had insisted that they watch immediately. She eagerly pointed out all of the good parts and wept as Rudy was carried off the field, replaying that part over and over. By the time the final credits rolled, Paige was about ready to crawl out of her skin. Recalling all this, Emily dialed back her enthusiasm. "Well, it's a great film, but I can always watch it on my laptop. I know you don't really want to sit through it again."

"You're right. I don't," Paige agreed. "But it would be a shame to waste these," she added, swiping her phone to show two e-tickets.

"No way!" Emily repeated.

"Maybe it'll be better on the big screen. At least I won't have to worry about them replaying that scene over and over and over and over."

"Whatever, McCullers. Just admit that you loved it!"

Following their meal, the two walked the few short blocks to the Roxy, where the ticket-taker was almost giddy to see them. "You realize that it's 'Rudy' tonight, right? 'Shoot the Piano Player' starts tomorrow…" They gave him a confused look and walked into the theater to see that they were the only ones there. "Hmm… not that big a turnout for such a classic, eh Fields?"

"Can I help it if so few people appreciate art anymore?"

By the time the movie started, a few more customers had straggled in, but there were still far more rows than there were people. Emily was excited. Paige was frisky. "Stop it!" Emily chided, as Paige's hands started to wander, "Some things are sacred."

Paige tried her best to be good, but the movie was so much less interesting than Emily. Paige began playfully flashing her tits to Emily, with a wide-eyed, open-mouthed, goofy expression. When that didn't get the reaction that she wanted, she started slow dancing in her seat, swaying her hips back and forth and running her hands suggestively over herself. Eventually, she took the battle across the border to Emily's seat, lazily stroking Emily's thighs, her fingers casually working their way north. Soon, she was kissing that spot on her neck that made Emily giggle. Emily continued to fend her off. "Jeez, McCullers, can't you keep it in your pants for a mere 60 minutes," she whispered

Paige leaned over to whisper her reply into Emily's ear, but snaked her tongue inside it first. "I'd rather keep it in _your_ pants," she replied, and then bit Emily's earlobe. Emily tried her best to maintain her composure. When she put her hand out to push Paige away, Paige grabbed it and rubbed it over her erect nipple. Emily involuntarily moaned upon feeling its hardness. Paige leaned back in to Emily's ear and, in between biting and sucking her lobe, began telling Emily, in her low, husky voice, exactly what she wanted to do to her in that movie theater, in the car, and in their bed. Emily couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed the hand that was her stroking at her slacks and pressed it deep against her crotch as she turned her head to intercept Paige's lips with her own. She sucked on Paige's tongue in the way that always set her off, rubbing Paige's earlobe between her thumb and index finger. She was grateful that they had chosen seats in the very back of the dark and nearly deserted theater. "Wait till I get you home, Paige!"

"No," Paige asserted, "I can't wait that long!"

Emily grabbed her by the hand and dragged her into the ladies' room. "Fuck, McCullers!" she yelled, shoving her up against the door and grabbing handfuls of hair as she pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss. Her thigh was between Paige's legs, and she could feel a moist squishing as she ground circles into Paige's crotch. Paige grabbed the shoulders of her coat and backed her into a stall, ripping her pants down to her ankles and hungrily devouring her. "Jeez, Em – You're so wet!"

"Fuck me, Paige! God, I need you right now!"

"Not yet," Paige replied, "You taste too good!"

Emily was in desperate need of release. She moved her own hands down to join Paige's tongue. Paige grabbed her from behind and dug nail prints into her ass. Together, they brought Emily to an expletive-filled explosion. She grabbed Paige's sleeves roughly, pulling Paige up to eye level, making munching noises as she kissed up and down her face and neck.

Paige was so worked up that it wasn't going to take much to send her over the edge. Emily, sensing this, tried to slow things down. Her kisses became less attacking and more tender; her caresses more supportive and less erotic. Paige was on a roller coaster and could feel herself tumbling over the edge. Emily sat down on the toilet and gazed up, longingly, at Paige as she slowly undid her jeans. She gently slid them down, followed by the panties, and began tenderly massaging and kissing Paige's thighs. She parted the thighs, to Paige's great relief, and patiently rubbed the palm of her hand against Paige's lips. Paige's hips synchronized with the rhythm and the motion. Emily leaned in to lick Paige's clit, changing Paige's husky moans into a shrill gasp. Emily began to suck as she forced one, then two fingers inside, making Paige's breath quicken. Emily increased the speed and intensity, moving her lips to kiss inside Paige's thighs, smoothing her free hand up and down the back of Paige's legs. A few deft flicks of Emily's tongue was enough to give Paige the relief that she craved, and she collapsed on top of Emily, her breath ragged and heavy.

"Come on!" Emily prodded, quickly getting herself together, "I bet we still have time to catch them carrying Rudy off the field!"


	14. Rehashing Maya

Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior.  
– Abraham Maslow

Paige woke up surprised not to feel Emily's body pressed against her back. She rolled over onto her other side, facing the middle of the bed and saw Emily lying on her back next to her, propped up on top of a couple of pillows, idly flipping through Tumblr on her phone.

"Everything okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah," Emily sighed, with a light kiss to Paige's temple. "Just thinking about stuff."

"Stuff?" Paige coaxed.

Emily put her phone down on the bedside table and turned to her side so that she was facing Paige. "Maya."

"Oh." After the turn that the conversation took at dinner the night before, Paige wasn't sure that she wanted to try getting Emily to talk about Maya again. Even so, she found herself asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Not really," Emily replied. After a few moments of silently gazing into each other's eyes, Emily continued, though. "She cheated on me."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Em." Paige sat up on one elbow, giving Emily her full attention. Her hand idly smoothed through Emily's hair as Emily continued.

"She got sent away to druggie rehab camp - long story. -and ended up having a fling with some guy whom she met there."

"Some guy? So, she's bi?"

"Yeah – I didn't know, either. Actually, though, Maya would say that she's fluid. Anyway, but, that wasn't the point. I mean, that's no big deal; – love is love. I wouldn't have cared that she was bi if she was with _me,_ you know? It wasn't that she cheated on me with a _guy_ , it was that she cheated on me at all."

"Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, no, that makes sense."

"The thing is," Emily continued with a huff, "When I found out about it and confronted her, she blamed me. She said that I shouldn't expect her to be faithful to someone like me, and I should be happy that she was even with me in the first place."

"Wow! I wish I could've been there when you kicked her sorry ass to the curb… Literally?"

Emily huffed. "Yeah. I would've liked to haave been there, too. Only it never happened. I - " Emily's voice cracked slightly. "I believed her. I blamed myself. Like, our whole relationship, she was constantly putting me down, you know? Making me think that I didn't deserve her – that no one else would ever want to be with me – that I needed to hold onto her, because she could up and leave me for someone better anytime she felt like it."

Paige cupped her girlfriend's face. "Em, I'm so sorry. Can I ask why you stayed with her so long if she didn't appreciate you?"

"You have to understand; she didn't out and out say those things. She was very subtle, and, over time, I just started to believe her. When we met, I was young, and going through all these changes. And I was confused about what I was feeling, you know, was it okay to feel. The way I feel about girls? She was just so confident and self-assured. I was kind of in awe of her. And after all the things my Mom told me when she found out that Maya and I were together – it was just a phase; it wasn't a real relationship, blah blah blah, – it just seemed that I had to make our relationship work to prove to myself, not to my Mom, that all the stuff my Mom was saying wasn't really true. Like, if I couldn't make it work with Maya, then it would mean that my Mom was right about how being gay is unnatural. So, I put up with her put downs, I started to blame myself for all of the problems that we had relating to each other. I really believed that I didn't deserve her, and that I had to hold onto her, no matter what she did or how she made me feel, or I'd end up alone."

Emily flipped over to her other side, subconsciously wanting to hide this weak, unsure version of herself from Paige. Paige instinctively drew herself up next to Emily and wrapped her arm around her.

"When she cheated on me, it finally opened my eyes. My Mom found me crying in my room. I told her the truth – she had come around about my sexuality by then, but she still wasn't a fan of Maya. She told me that I deserved better, and I finally realized that she wasn't saying it because she hated Maya but because she loved me. It was a long time before I told her all of the manipulative games Maya played, and how she messed with my head. Hanna helped me out a lot. She helped me realize that I had value, that Maya was wrong, that I was worthy of being loved. Seeing Maya last night – I just felt like her little insecure plaything again. I just felt - like smaller, somehow. I don't know. Like that stupid, insecure little girl I was in high school."

Paige pressed a kiss into her girlfriend's shoulder. Only then did she realize that she was the big spoon for the first time in bed with Emily. She thought back to a couple of months ago, when Emily was an unapproachable goddess of whom she didn't feel herself worthy. She never could have seen herself as Emily's equal. But that's how Emily saw her. And that's how Emily made her see herself.

"I can't even imagine you weak and insecure like that, Emily. Back before I actually met you, when I was only crushing on you from afar, I was in total awe of you, the way that you were in awe of her. You had it all together, so confident and self-assured. So far out of my league. I actually remember telling Pru that it didn't matter how good I was, because you're a goddess, and I'd be lucky if you even spoke to me."

"Oh, Paige, you know that's not true…" Emily started to turn around to face Paige, but Paige tightened her grip around her slightly, to hold her in place. She didn't want the focus of the conversation to shift to her. This was all about Emily.

"I _do_ know that – now. That's my point, Emily. It would've been easy for you to make me feel small and unworthy. I mean, I already felt like that. But when you came into my life, you showed me that I had value. It's not that you made me into someone better, but you made me feel better about who I already was - that you loved that person who I already was. You always make me feel not just loved but cherished. And, the thing is, to this day, I still feel so lucky to be with you, but you also make me feel that you think that you're just as lucky to be with me."

"I really do, Babe. I'm so lucky," Emily said, rubbing the arm that Paige had her wrapped up in.

"People like Maya think that they need to tear other people down to build themselves up, but that's not love. Love elevates. You elevate me. I'm better because of you."

Emily turned around beneath Paige's arm and kissed her lovingly. "You're not going to start singing 'You Raise Me Up,' now, are you?"

"'You raise me up?' What's that?"

"Never mind." Emily rolled over again. "I'm just going to lie here and enjoy being the little spoon for a little while longer."


	15. Study Break

Place me like a seal over your heart,  
like a seal on your arm;  
for love is as strong as death,  
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

– Solomon

"What the hell kind of name is Pru, anyway?"

"I don't know – what the hell kind of name is Hanna?"

"It's a totally normal name. Like, how many Hannas do you know? 'Cause I only know one Pru."

"The Hannahs I know all end in an 'H.' Two Hs, two As, two Ns. So what the hell happened to your other H?"

"I don't need another H. There's only one H, 'cause there's only one me. I'm unique."

"Well, I'm PRUnique!"

"Oh, ha ha. . . You couldn't wait to whip that one out, could you? Have you been using that all your life?"

The friends went back to their studying. After a bit, Pru took up the conversation again. "It's short for Prudence."

"Ewww – Prudence? No wonder you go by Pru!"

"Yeah, 'cause I'm sure as hell not 'dence!'"

"I could call you Prudy!"

"Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's what people think when they think of me. Prude-y."

Again, they went back to their books, but, again, it didn't last long. Again, Pru broke the silence. "I was named after my great grandmother."

"Really? They have Prudences in China?"

"What the hell are you talking about, China?"

"Your grandmother."

"What makes you think my great grandmother was Chinese?"

"You don't exactly look Italian!"

"Hanna. I'm Korean."

"Yeah, okay, whatever. They have Prudences in Korea?"

"God – yes, Hanna. We have Prudences. We have Hannahs, too. Only _we_ know how to spell it!"

"What are we even talking about names for?"

"You were the one who…"

"Can we just go get a beer or something, 'cause I'm getting a headache from all this studying."

"You just said the magic words!"

Pru followed Hanna out of her bedroom toward the door. "We're taking a study break," Hanna announced to Paige and Emily, who were studying in the common room. Emily was sitting on the couch, with her feet up on the coffee table. Paige was reclining on her stomach, her legs in Emily's lap.

"You guys were in there for all of, what, 20 minutes?" Emily asked, looking to Paige for confirmation.

"We're just taking a break, Emily. We're going to come back and finish after last call!"

"Since when does the study break take longer than the studying?" Paige said to herself.

Pru came over and smacked her on the ass. "Trust us. We know what we're doing!"

"You guys should come with us!" Hanna offered.

"What do you think, Babe? One drink?" Emily asked.

"Why not? I don't think I'm going to get anything else done tonight."

Because of the freshmen with them, they decided to head to a dive bar that catered to students and wasn't overly aggressive about checking IDs. It was rather loud; apparently, much of the student body needed a break from all the studying.

Emily and Paige were each nursing a bottle of beer, but Hanna and Pru decided that it would be a good idea to do shots. At least they were entertaining drunks.

"So, Little One, do you have a special guy back home?"

"Jesus, Hanna! Why do you have to ask me that every single time you get drunk?"

"Because, Bro! I want to see you get laid."

"You want to _see_ it?"

"Nothing I haven't seen before…"

"Yeah, I want to see that, too," Pru said, mocking Hanna's goal. "So what about you Hanna? What's with that guy you've got back at home – Caleb, right?"

"Yeah, Caleb. He's doing his thing - finding himself, whatever. I think he's in California, or something."

"So, you guys are over?"

"Oh, no. He's coming back. And I'll be here. But, in the meantime, it doesn't mean that I can't have fun."

"You guys aren't exclusive?"

"Please, Prudence!"

Emily mouthed the name "Prudence?" to Paige, who smiled and nodded.

Pru rolled her eyes. "What the fuck was I even thinking when I told you that?"

"Okay – _Pru_. You don't just deprive the world of _this_. Not till he puts a ring on it, at least."

* * *

"Uh, Emily? Who's that putting the moves on your girlfriend?" Hanna interrupted the discussion that she and Pru had been holding about what guys were each other's types. Emily was bored out of her mind and waiting for Paige to return from the ladies' room. Pru and Emily's heads shot up to see what Hanna was talking about. On the other side of the room, Paige was talking to a tall, dark, athletic woman who must really have liked the fabric of Paige's sweater, judging from the way that she kept touching Paige's sleeve.

"Well, Paige definitely has a type…" Hanna mused. Emily just glared at her.

Paige must've felt her friends' eyes on her, because she smiled over at their table and put up a finger to indicate that she'd be back in a second. Athletic woman, meanwhile, pulled a pen and notepad from her jeans. Emily had seen enough. She stormed over to her girlfriend, possessively putting her arm around her waist.

"Hi, Emily," an oblivious Paige said blissfully. "This is Shana. It's the funniest thing – Shana mistook me for someone in her history class! I guess I have a twin!" Paige was surprised that Emily wasn't reacting to the humor of the mix-up. She was just glaring at Shana. Paige wasn't sure why Emily was in such a bad mood all of a sudden, so she just soldiered on with the story. "Anyway, I told her that I couldn't be in the girl she was thinking about, because her class meets the same time my calc class meets. So, it turns out that Shana's a math major, and she said I can call her if I ever get stuck."

Emily kept her glare on Shana as she said, menacingly, "Thank you, Shana, but I don't think my _girlfriend_ will be needing your help. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to go rejoin our friends." Emily spun a very confused Paige around and pushed her back to their table, as Paige tried to keep up the suddenly frantic pace.

"Emily, what's wrong? You were rude to her! That's not like you..."

"Because she was hitting on my girlfriend!"

"Oh, come on, Emily! She offered to help me with math! Does that sound like a pick-up line to you?"

Hanna looked over to Pru. "God – is everyone in Wisconsin this naïve?"

"Nope," Pru replied, "Just our Paige!"

"What?" Paige looked at Pru, clueless.

"Um, Paige, honey? She tried to give you her number, for fuck's sake!" Pru pointed out.

"In case I needed help with math!"

"She wanted to help you _multiply_ ," Hanna joked. "Wait, that doesn't work for lesbians, does it? Well, you get the gist."

"No! She doesn't get it! That's the problem. She gets hit on all the time, and she's too oblivious to realize it." Emily threw her coaster in frustration.

"Emily," Paige said, grabbing her girlfriend's arm, "I'm not interested in anybody else." She kissed Emily's lips. "I love _you._ "

Emily backed away from her anger a bit and kissed Paige back. "I love you, too. But do you have to be so nice to everybody?"

"Sucks having a hot girlfriend, huh, Emily?" Pru asked.

"Yeah, sometimes, it really does."

"I don't know," Paige said, snuggling into Emily "I've got no complaints about my hot girlfriend." Looking up at Emily, she continued in her low, husky voice, "If you're so jealous, you'd better take me home and – claim me!"

Emily scrambled, grabbing money from her wallet and tossing it to the table and pulling on her jacket in one less-than-smooth motion.

"Oh, fuck," Hanna exclaimed, "Would you two stop being so annoyingly cute? Why did we even take you with us?"

* * *


	16. Study Break (alternate take)

**A/N: This is an alternate, alternate universe version of the scene at the bar from chapter 15. You don't have to read chapter 15 for this chapter to make sense (well, except for the first line), but, in case you're wondering why this update is even shorter than my chapters usually are, it's because this one is an add-on to the update that I posted earlier today.**

"Okay – _Pru_. You don't just deprive the world of _this_. Not till he puts a ring on it, at least."

"Hi!" the perky, petite blonde interrupted, setting chips and salsa down at their table, "My name is Alison, and I'll be taking care of you tonight."

Paige didn't miss the way that she raised her eyebrows and half-winked at Emily when she mentioned wanting to take care of them. She also didn't miss the fact that three fingers on her right hand were perched on Emily's shoulder.

"Anything I can get you right now?"

" _Yeah, you can get your fucking hand off my girlfriend's shoulder!"_ Paige wanted to say.

Emily was her usual gracious, gregarious, annoyingly oblivious self. "Nope, not right now! The chips are perfect! Thank you so much, Alison!"

Alison, naturally, misread Emily's natural charm and the fact that she called her by her name. She gave a smile, and a slight squeeze of Emily's shoulder, and assured her that she would be back to check on them.

Emily turned back to the conversation, but she could feel her girlfriend's eyes on her. She glanced over to see what was up, and was surprised to see Paige's lids half closed, her eyebrows furrowed together. "What's wrong, Babe?"

Paige tilted her head as if to say "Really?" Emily replied with a questioning look. Paige rolled her eyes and turned her head back to the table, angrily attacking the salsa with a chip, which broke off under the force.

Emily just squeezed Paige's thigh and left her hand there. She figured, whatever was eating Paige, she would talk about it when she was ready.

It didn't take long for Blondie to intrude on them again. "So, are you all college students? We seem to be full of them, tonight."

"You're full of _something_ ," Paige said under her breath.

Emily leaned her ear in, rubbing Paige's thigh, indicating for Paige to repeat the comment that she hadn't heard. Paige addressed Alison instead. "Yes, we're college students. The _four_ of us are. It's the middle of exams, and we're just here to drink and blow off some steam. So, we've got the drinks, _Alison_ , so we're all set," she said, all but shooing the server away with her hands.

Alison dipped her head slightly and retreated with a half-smile.

"Okay, Paige. You're obviously upset about something. Can you just tell me what it is so I can help?"

Paige looked over at Emily, incredulous. "Oh, God," she said, shaking her head and exhaling, annoyed by her girlfriend's cluelessness. In anyone else, she would've found it adorable. Paige got up from her chair. "Switch seats with me."

"What?" Emily asked, genuinely confused, as she obligingly rose and traded seats with Paige.

Once they were seated again, Paige tilted her head and glared at Emily. "She's flirting with you."

"Who, Alison?" Emily asked in disbelief. Paige just scowled in reply.

"Oh, come on, Paige, she's just friendly. She's probably trying to work us for tips."

"Yeah, because college students are known for being such big tippers."

Emily looked over to Hanna and Pru for back-up. Pru smirked and raised an eyebrow, her body language saying, "Obviously!" Hanna hit her palm to her forehead, "Duh!"

Paige told them, "This happens all the time! And she's always this oblivious!"

"Okay. Whatever. But even if she was flirting, so what? You know I'm not interested in anyone but you," Emily assured her, taking Paige's hands between both of her own and stroking it lightly.

"I know you're not, Em. That's not why I'm upset."

"Then what is it?" Emily asked.

"Emily. Think how you feel when someone flirts with me."

Paige had a point. Girls and guys were always flirting with Paige. With guys, it just took an intimate look at Paige or a kiss to her lips to shoot them down – except those few who were actually cocky, stupid, or drunk enough to think that their frat-boy fantasies of a three-way with two hot college babes was about to come true. Women, on the other hand, could be pretty aggressive about ignoring the fact that they were together.

"All right. I get that. I'm sorry; – I'll try to be more aware of that."

"Yes. More aware. And less friendly. And less – hot," Paige said, half grinning. She grabbed Emily by the collar and pulled her in for a kiss that ended up lasting much longer than she had originally intended.

"Oh, Jeez. Get a room, you two," Hanna whined.

"Can't you guys even do the jealous-girlfriend thing right?" Pru added.

From behind the bar, Alison was headed back to their table. She took note of the new seating arrangement and decided it might be time for her to visit some of the other tables in her section instead.


	17. Separation Anxiety

Dread, which is closely related to fear, steals the ability to enjoy ordinary life and makes people anxious about the future.  
– Joyce Meyer

Paige sat on the bed, half dressed. She had pulled her jeans up to knee-level before she stopped, sullen. She and Emily were supposed to go to a big end-of-exams party at the student union, but her heart wasn't in it. She had been moping around for the past couple of days, and, even though she tried to put on a happy face around Emily, Emily noticed.

"We don't have to go to this thing, you know." Emily had suggested the party thinking that it would cheer her girlfriend. She still believed that it would, but wondered whether Paige just wanted a quiet night together - or by herself.

"No. I want to go." Paige forced a smile. "Sorry - I'm just in slow motion tonight."

* * *

Emily found some seats for the two of them, Pru, and Hanna. Their friends didn't stay, though: Hanna had initiated Operation Hot Guy and dragged Pru off to meet the guy she was sure that Pru would marry someday. Emily initiated Operation Dance Your Troubles Away, hoping to help Paige shake off her doldrums, literally. They hit the dance floor, and Emily tried everything that she could come up with to improve Paige's mood: Playful Emily, Enthusiastic Emily, Seductive Emily, Goofy Emily. She danced in circles around her girlfriend, smoothing at her sides, backing up into her, holding her hands. To a casual observer, Paige would have appeared to be enjoying herself. Emily, however, was not a casual observer.

After about a half hour of this, the DJ spun a slow song. Emily put her arms around Paige's waist, and Paige put her arms around Emily's neck. She rested her head on Emily's chest, her cheek just below the shoulder blade, her eyes facing away from Emily. She let out a long sigh.

_Finally._

This is what she had wanted all along: Just to be held in the comforting arms of her girlfriend. Emily could sense Paige's need and held her tighter, moving her right arm up to Paige's back and cradling Paige's head with her left. In just a few short hours, they would be heading home – Paige to Wisconsin and Emily to Rosewood, and Paige was dreading having to go back to falling asleep alone, having grown accustomed to the feeling of sleeping in Emily's protecting, warming embrace.

"It's only a week, you know," Emily said, somehow hearing the words that Paige never spoke. "I'm still coming out to meet your family after Christmas."

"It's not just a week," Paige whined. "You know that they're going to put you in the guest room. That's even worse – to have you right down the hall and not be able to sleep with you – _fall asleep with you_ , I mean."

"I know, Paige. It's going to suck."

"Yeah. It's going to suck."

"But let's just enjoy tonight."

Paige sighed deeply. "I am," she asserted, not sure whether she was trying to convince Emily or herself.

"We can do two weeks!" Emily tried to be contagiously enthusiastic.

"I suppose," Paige sighed.

Emily tilted Paige's face up to her with a serious expression. "Please tell me that your parents are deep sleepers!"

Paige's genuine laugh warmed Emily's heart. She kissed her, soulfully. Paige savored the moment like a last meal. She memorized the feel of Emily's hands on her back and her head. She rested her cheek on Emily's chest again and pressed a kiss onto her shoulder. "I love you."

It was a moment too beautiful to be interrupted, so, naturally, Pru interrupted it. "Paige! You've got to come see this guy," she exclaimed, physically pulling Paige away from Emily. Paige loved her friend, but her timing sucked. And, when Pru was on a mission, she was oblivious to everything around her. Paige shot Emily a sad smile as Pru led her by the hand and described the "perfect" man whom Hanna had hand-picked for her. "Slow down, Pru! Tell me his name, at least?"

"His name's Sean. He's _really_ cute. I think there used to be something between him and Hanna, but I'm not sure. But I have to give him the friend test, to make sure he has your approval. Just like the time I gave Emily the friend test for you!"

"Um, Pru, are you seriously using the time that Hanna ambushed me and you played along to try to convince me to help you?"

"Whatever! You guys are together, right?"

"Yes, Pru. But that's not why I'm going. I'm going because you're my best friend, and I've always got your back."

"Aww – sweet. Now, back to business. There he is – what do you think? Hi, Sean!"

* * *

After what ended up being way too much time at the party, Paige finally found herself in Emily's bed and in her protective embrace, trying to get some sleep. Her heart was fighting the rest of her body; her heart wanting to savor every moment of this last night in Emily's arms, the rest of her body tired beyond belief. She knew that she would need sleep in order to be able to face airport security, airplane food, and the tedious flight that were ahead of her. Usually, flying with Pru meant that Paige could sleep on the plane and leave Pru to engage any chatty seatmates. This time, though, she knew that Pru would want to dissect the Sean Ackard situation in excruciating detail.

* * *

Paige and Pru set out for the airport early Saturday morning with Emily at the wheel. Hanna had arranged for Caleb to pick her up, because there wasn't much room to fit the four of them and their luggage in Emily's car. Emily parked in the short-term lot so that she would have more time to say good-by to Paige – as much time as TSA procedures would allow. The check-in line was long and slow-moving, so, even though Emily couldn't go through security and to the gate with Paige, they still had a lot of time together. Most of it was spent in silence, the two of them in a side-embrace, Paige's head on Emily's shoulder. Paige was subdued, but the previous night's sadness was modulated somewhat by her anticipation of family and Christmas. Pru gave them respectful space, knowing that she'd have Paige's ears all to herself once they made it beyond the security barrier.

After check-in, Emily and Paige stood outside the TSA line for as long as they dared, just holding each other and wiping the occasional tear from one another's eye. They kissed, but not as much as they would have liked if they had had more privacy – or if they lived in an era more receptive to love in all of its varieties. Eventually, as Pru got progressively more antsy, pacing back and forth, they separated with a final kiss. Emily watched Paige's progress all the way through the security line until, with a final wave, Paige blew her a kiss and turned down the corridor to the departure gates.

* * *

As soon as the plane touched down, Paige switched her phone back on. She and Pru retrieved their carry-ons from the overhead bins and waited for all of the rows of people ahead of them to clear out. Just as Paige was about to ask Pru, jokingly, whether or not it was too soon to call Emily, her phone buzzed to announce a missed call and voice-mail from Emily:

_Hey, Babe, I'm about a half hour outside of Rosewood. I know you're on the plane now, so your phone's turned off, but I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. Give me a call as soon as you land – well, as soon as you get a chance – so that I know you're safe. All right. I love you. I miss you already. Say hi to your family for me._

"Yeah, okay. She's the perfect girlfriend – I get it!" Pru laughed, elbowing Paige's ribs.

* * *

It was great to be home. The flurry of activity, catching up with all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins, helped the days pass quickly. Paige and Emily spoke every night. On Christmas day, they skyped, and that was how Paige's parents met Emily's. Soon, Paige was in her dad's SUV, heading to the airport to pick up Emily.

Once she got there, Paige couldn't contain her nervous energy. A smile kept sneaking onto her face as she bounced from one foot to another, scanning each group that thronged out of the terminal to find the only one who mattered. Finally, she saw Emily with a bag over her shoulder, both hands in the pocket of her maxi coat, and her head down, looking as if she had a headache. After a moment, she looked up and saw Paige, and her face brightened. Paige couldn't help herself. She ran over to Emily and grabbed onto her for dear life. In a moment, they were kissing, and things around them seemed to be moving in slow motion. Paige leaned out of the kiss and stroked Emily's hair. "Are you okay? You look as if you have a headache."

"I'm fine," Emily assured her. "Just a bit tired. I'm better now that I see you." She kissed her quickly and they were on their way, hand in hand.

"Are you nervous about meeting my parents?" Paige remembered how she felt on her way to Rosewood for Thanksgiving. Emily just grinned. Paige realized how foolish the question was. Emily thrived on meeting people. She found it energizing, not intimidating. "Oh, yeah. Look whom I'm asking," she smiled.

Nick and Marlene McCullers were genuinely excited to meet their daughter's girlfriend, but the McCullers clan was much more subdued than Emily's family. They warmed to Emily immediately and made her feel welcome. Paige showed her to the guest room and led her to the bathroom to freshen up. Dinner was almost ready, and the plan was to have a "Second Christmas" afterwards, to exchange presents with Emily.

Conversation over dinner was mostly of the "getting to know you" variety. Nick McCullers was very interested in Emily's course of study and her future plans. Paige took Emily's hand under the table, worried that it would feel as though her dad were interviewing Emily for the position of girlfriend – or something more. Emily, though, wasn't uncomfortable in the least, and – no surprise, showed just as much interest in Paige's parents' careers and plans.

"It's odd, isn't it?" Nick pondered out loud, "Both of you only children, both gay, but from different parts of the country, and you wind up together."

Paige shot her dad a searing look. She thought that he had put his homophobia behind him, but, apparently, it was just sleeping beneath the surface. Emily was unfazed. "I guess it does defy the odds a little bit!"

"Well," Nick continued, "I guess you owe me one for convincing Paige to join Pru in college! If she had stayed in Wisconsin the way she originally planned, you two might never have met!" He let out a deep laugh, and Emily joined with him. "Yes," she agreed, raising her water glass in his direction, "I definitely owe you one!"

After dinner, Emily and Paige cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher while Nick and Marlene got everything together for Second Christmas. They gathered around the tree and Nick read the Christmas story from the Gospel of Luke, as was their family's tradition. Marlene followed with a prayer for family and friends, old and new, and for peace in the year to come. "Okay," Nick bellowed, "Time for presents!"

Emily gave Paige's parents a "Welcome to Philadelphia" package, including a video overview of the city taken from the air, a book on the city's history, and a Philadelphia-themed version of Monopoly. "Perfect for Nick the Mogul," Marlene joked. The package also included two tickets for a bus tour which Emily promised she and Paige would take with them whenever they made it out to Philly.

Nick and Marlene handed Emily an envelope. _Typical Dad,_ Paige thought, _when in doubt, just give cash!_

Emily opened the envelope and read the card. There was a gift card for Exxon gas inside. "Oh… This will come in handy," she said graciously. "Thanks!" Paige was puzzled. This was an odd choice, even for her dad.

"Now open your envelope!" Paige's mom was too giddy. Paige knew that something was up, but she had no idea what. She opened her card and squealed. There was a key tucked inside. This time, it was Emily's turn to be puzzled.

"The lake house?" Paige exclaimed, hugging her parents.

"Yeah," Nick replied. "We've had you for the week. You and Emily head up there for the weekend. Your Aunt has it all stocked up with food, firewood – everything you need."

"I'm sure you two will want to exchange your gifts up there," Marlene added, with, seemingly, no awareness of how that statement could be misinterpreted. "Your father and I are heading up to bed. You should get some sleep, too. That way, you can get an early start in the morning."

Paige was in absolute shock. The best that she had been hoping for was sneaking into the guest room to steal a late-night cuddle with Paige. Now, she had a weekend alone in a snowy, secluded lake house to look forward to.

* * *

Paige leaned over the console of her mom's car and rested her head on Emily's shoulder. "Does this remind you of another snowy drive to a house in the woods?"

"I was just thinking that!" Emily exclaimed. "Actually," she smiled, "I was thinking – if I'd known, I would've packed some sexier pajamas…"

"I'm surprised my parents didn't give you lingerie instead of gas money."

"Maybe that's up at the cabin. Your dad _did_ say that your aunt left everything we'd need!"

"At this point, nothing would surprise me!"

* * *

"Hey! Wake up! Is this the place?"

Paige took a moment to shake off her grogginess and then broke out into a smile. "This is the place!"

"It's huge!"

"Right? This place is great for family get-togethers. My Dad comes from a large family, so there were always plenty of cousins around. I always wondered whether that's the reason that I'm an only child – kids from big families wish that they were only children."

"By that logic, I take it you want a large family?"

Paige just responded with a shy grin and a kiss to Emily's cheek. She grabbed her by the hand and led her into the house. They had the whole weekend ahead of them to discuss family size.

* * *

Emily got a fire going while Paige poked around the kitchen to see what their options were. In no time, she and Emily were sitting in front of the fire, munching on soup and bread.

"It was really nice of your parents to get the house for us, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it really was."

"I mean, especially considering that they don't even know me."

"No, but they know all about you. We talk about you a lot."

"Should I be worried?" Emily joked.

Paige dipped her head.

"Okay, Paige. I know that look. What is it?"

"Well, maybe you should be worried, but not for the reasons you'd think." Paige paused a while before she continued. Emily held her hand encouragingly. "I was a real loner growing up. I mean, being an only child made you really social, always seeking friendships. It turned me inward. My parents were always so busy, so I had to learn how to be alone."

"Paige, that's so sad."

"No, not really. I enjoy my own company," Paige joked. "Seriously, I never felt lonely. Well, hardly ever. But it was really hard for me to let people in and become friends with them. My parents were really worried about me in junior high and high school – when people start forming their social circles. I told them that I was okay, that I wasn't missing anything – and I really wasn't. But they were worried that I would end up an old maid, because I never dated. They were shocked when I first came out, but, after a while, they were kind of relieved, you know? Like, now that it was out in the open that I liked girls, maybe I could finally start dating. But it didn't work out that way. So, now you're here – the answer to their prayers; finally, someone who would date me. I think they want to make sure I don't screw things up with you, because, to them, you're like the best shot they've ever had at getting grandchildren." Paige managed to get all of this out without dipping her head, although she was actively avoiding Emily's eyes. Once it was all said, Paige focused on the circles that she was making with her spoon on the bottom of her empty soup bowl.

"Wow. That's really heavy."

"I bet you want to run away now," Paige timidly half-joked.

"Come here, you!" Emily pulled Paige in for a hug and held her for a long time. "I'm not going anywhere." She pulled just far enough apart from Paige to look deep into her eyes and reinforce the words that she'd just spoken with a lingering kiss. "I love you, Paige McCullers."

"And I love you, Emily! Sometimes, I'm just amazed that you're with me."

"I know. That's how I feel about you. I'm amazed that we found each other."

* * *

After lunch, the girls found a bottle of wine that Paige's aunt had left, an old blanket to curl up in, and a deck of cards.

"Do you want to play Blackjack for penalties?"

"How does that work?"

"That's how my cousins and I used to play. If you lose a hand, you have to pay a penalty – like, go out in the snow barefoot, or lick the bottom of the winner's shoe – stupid stuff like that."

"Hmm… I didn't know you had this sadistic streak, McCullers!"

"Well, the penalty doesn't have to be bad!"

"What do you mean?"

"Deal the cards, and you'll find out!"

"Pretty sure you're going to beat me, huh?"

True to her word, Paige won the first hand. "So what's my penalty?"

"Your penalty is: – A hickey on the neck!" Paige claimed a spot on Emily's neck and enforced the penalty, drawing a low, deep moan. "Do we really have to play?" Emily asked, "Can't we just take turns giving out penalties?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Oh, I think we'd have plenty of fun!"

Emily lost the next two hands and had to give Paige a shoulder rub and a foot massage for penalties. When she won the fourth hand, she took some time to try to come up with a good penalty. "Okay, stand up and turn around!" she commanded, and Paige complied. Emily stood, too. After a second, Emily went on, "I've hidden a card somewhere on my body. You have to find it." Paige rolled her eyes and reached for Emily's breasts. "Oh. You know me too well, Paige."

"Nice try. You just wanted me to give you a full body search, didn't you?" Paige asked, turning Emily around, slowly running her hands up and down, all over Emily's body.

"Mmmmm… You really _do_ know me well."

Paige continued caressing Emily with her left hand while, with her right hand, she lifted Emily's hair to the side, clearing the area so that she could plant gentle wet kisses around her neck and shoulders. Soon, her left hand began to work from inside Emily's sweater, and, soon, the sweater was off.

"So, I take it Blackjack for Penalties is officially over?" Emily asked between moans.

"Yes," Paige asserted, spinning Emily around and unbuttoning her jeans as she kissed her way down Emily's chest and abdomen, "It's so over. Just like this conversation."

* * *


	18. The Mouse that Roared

If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.  
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Excuse me," Paige said, rising from her chair and trying her best to remain calm, "What was that?"

After an afternoon in bed, she and Emily decided to head out to a restaurant for dinner. There weren't many options in the area. Paige directed Emily to a family owned place that her family used to love when they were growing up. They had been enjoying their dinner and their conversation when a slightly tipsy man walked by and made a comment to his wife about "those two dykes."

Emily reached for Paige's hand in an attempt to calm her. "It's not worth it, Paige."

Paige snatched her hand away and balled her hands at her sides as she stepped between the man and the aisle. "It _is_ worth it. We're worth it. He has an opinion. I want to hear it."

The man had suddenly lost his tongue. It seemed to Emily that he was about to let his fists do the talking. He didn't seem to be the type who was above hitting a lady. Paige didn't seem to care, at that moment.

"Please," his wife said, crossing between the two of them, "Allow me to apologize. It was a stupid comment that my husband thought was funny. He never should have said it. I'm very – _we're_ very sorry. You two should be able to have a nice evening without having to deal with stupid shit like this. In fact," she said, reaching into her husband's wallet and taking out two twenties, "please enjoy your dinner on us." She extended the bills toward Paige, but Paige never took her eyes off the man, who was staring straight back at her. Finally, Emily stepped up, took the money and thanked the couple. "Apology accepted," she said, as she rubbed Paige's back and coaxed her back into her seat.

Emily continued to rub Paige's back after they both took their seats, attempting to calm her down. It was several seconds before Paige could even look at her. She grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, Em. I shouldn't have let that jerk get to me."

Emily was smiling, biting the corner of her lip. "I've never seen you like that before." Paige dipped her head, embarrassed. Emily ran her fingers up the inseam of Paige's jeans and purred into her ear, "It was so hot. You have no idea how turned on I am right now." As she pulled away, she nibbled at Paige's earlobe. She could see the deep red rising up from Paige's neck. Emily began rubbing her leg up Paige's calf underneath the table, her hand still roaming up the inside of Paige's thigh, painfully close to the border of the Promised Land. _Your move, McCullers._

"Em, you're going to get us kicked out of here. This is a family restaurant!"

"Yeah? Am I being bad?" Emily moved her hand from Paige's thigh and slipped it under her sweater, circling Paige's navel with her fingertips, keeping her tone low and sexy, "Are you going to have to take care of me the way you took care of that bigot?"

"Jesus, Em!" Paige said, grabbing the money the man's wife had given them with a new sense of urgency, "Where the hell is our fucking waiter?"

Paige drove on the trip back to the lake house. Paige drove all night long.

Once they got to the house, Paige hoisted Emily up by her hips. Emily wrapped her legs around Paige and screamed as Paige began to carry her upstairs. "PAIGE! Put me down! You're going to drop me!"

Paige was too hopped up on adrenaline to stop. She kicked the bedroom door open and threw Emily down on the bed. "Holy shit!" Emily gasped, catching her breath and gripping the muscles on Paige's arms, "I had no idea you were so strong."

Paige was kissing her roughly, explaining between kisses, "I used to play field hockey."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. They named a penalty after me."

Emily was overwhelmed by the desire to be dominated by Paige. As Paige continued to assault her lips, Emily squeezed her triceps and said, "You could just overpower me. I wouldn't stand a chance." Paige took the cue. She sat up, her knees on either side of Emily's waist and ripped open Emily's shirt, sending buttons flying everywhere. "God, yes, Paige!" Paige pinned Emily's hands above her head and starting gnawing at her nipples through her bra, making hungry, animalistic noises. Emily couldn't stop her hips from thrusting upwards, desperately trying to get the stimulation that she craved. Paige was taking her, and she was exploding with desire.

Paige caught sight of the hickey she'd given Emily in their game of penalties earlier that afternoon, and the sight set her off. She pushed Emily's bra up over her breasts and started sucking and nibbling on them. She worked her way up to Emily's neck, biting, licking, and sucking while aggressively massaging Emily's breasts. Emily was rubbing her legs together so hard that she thought her jeans would ignite. Paige shifted her attention lower, yanking Emily's legs apart and palming her crotch through her jeans.

"Off! Please, Baby, take them off! I need you inside me!" Paige stared up at her with blackened pupils and a fierce expression. She crouched lower on the bed and hoisted Emily's legs onto her shoulders, licking and nibbling at her, still refusing to relieve her of her jeans. Emily's pleas and moans became more desperate, and Paige shot her a cocky grin – but then she caught a whiff of the scent of Emily's pussy mixed with the scent of denim, and it blew her mind. In a second, Emily's jeans and panties were on the other side of the room, and Paige was discovering just how deep her tongue could reach inside Emily. Paige snarled, "God, you taste so fucking good, Emily!" Emily's thighs tightened around Paige's head, as she used her knees to force Paige even deeper inside her. Paige couldn't breathe. She didn't slow down. Finally, with a gasp, she broke Emily's death grip on her head and curled two fingers into the space where her tongue had been, kissing and biting Emily's inner thighs. "I'm so fucking hot right now, Emily! The smell of you has me all wet." Paige wrapped her tongue around Emily's clit, and Emily couldn't hold out any longer. She let out a blood-curdling scream, her hips high off the bed, before she froze in place and slowly shuddered back onto the mattress.

Paige waited for Emily's breathing to even out, then sat up slowly on the bed. She moved down to the foot of the bed and crouched at Emily's feet. Emily looked down at her with a puzzled expression. Paige just smiled at her. She teased her index finger across the sole of Emily's socks, causing Emily to squeal her name between laughs. Then, she yanked off the left sock and began massaging Emily's foot with both hands, rubbing the ball of her feet, kneading her instep, flexing her toes. She finished by kissing each toe and grazing it with her teeth, repeating the process on the right foot.

Paige spread Emily's legs and sat herself in between Emily's feet. She proceeded to massage Emily's calves and up her thighs, enjoying the moans that Emily was making as she progressed. She told Emily to roll over, and Emily obeyed, joining her hands underneath her face and smiling, with her eyes closed. Paige massaged the back of her legs, interspersing kisses as she worked up from Emily's feet to her ass.

Paige got up and undressed. Then, she sat down on Emily's ass and began massaging her back, kneading, chopping, and rubbing. Emily was sure that this was what heaven was like. "What did I do to deserve this, Paige?"

"You're you, Emily. That's all that matters."

"Let me take care of you, now."

"No, not now. Just lie back and enjoy. My time will come."

Emily was in no position to argue. The last thing she remembered was feeling Paige stretch her body out on top of her as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *


	19. Puppy Love

I have spread my dreams under your feet;  
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams  
—W. B. Yeats

Emily woke up early the next morning, abuzz with energy. She went into the kitchen and whipped up a quick breakfast which she piled on a serving tray that she found and carried to the bedroom.

"Breakfast in bed? To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Emily tilted her head and smirked at her. "You know exactly what you owe it to."

Paige smiled and pulled her in for a kiss. "A girl could get used to this!"

After breakfast, a still-jumpy Emily begged Paige to go take a walk with her.

"Or," Paige countered, "we could just stay here and take up where we left off last night…"

"Pleeeeeze, Paige?" Emily climbed on top of Paige and continued her pleading. "I just have so much energy this morning."

"Well, let's burn it off, then!"

Emily bent down and engaged Paige in a long, slow, passionate kiss. She abruptly pulled away, smacking Paige's naked thigh. "Come on, McCullers! Just take a walk with me! I'll make it worth your while!"

"Oh, God. Fuck it." Paige knew that she couldn't resist a begging Emily. "Let's just go and get it over with!"

* * *

Emily linked her arm with Paige's as they headed down the street. The air was brisk, and it felt good in their lungs. Emily was still bouncing with excess energy. "I'll race you to the corner," she shouted teasingly as she took off in a sprint. After a split second, Paige processed the challenge that Emily had thrown down, and she took off after her. They were soon joined by four other legs, as a scruffy puppy showed up at their heels, dragging his leash behind him.

Emily crouched down to his level. "Oh, you're adorable!" she exclaimed, petting him as he rolled over onto his back and back up on his feet, his tail going a mile a minute. She scratched his ears and asked, "What's your name, big guy?" Paige had fished her phone out of her pocket and was snapping pictures like crazy, enthralled by the cuteness of it all.

Not long after, a very contrite little boy, about six or seven years old, came running to the scene. "I'm sorry," he said meekly, reaching for the leash. "He's new. We just got him for Christmas. We're still training him." Emily looked in the direction from which the boy had come running and saw his dad, smiling at the scene. Emily ran her hand over the boy's wool cap and down onto his shoulder. "It's okay! This guy's just got a lot of energy to burn, don't you! I know just how he feels!"

"You can say that again," Paige muttered under her breath.

"I'm Emily," Emily continued, "and this is my grumpy friend, Paige. What's this little guy's name?"

"His name is Nick, like St. Nick, 'cause he's a Christmas dog. My name is Earl. That's my dad, Big Earl, over there."

Emily waved. Big Earl waved back.

"Well, Earl, it's my pleasure to meet you. I'd better let you guys get back to your walk. Can I give you a hug?" Earl nodded and hugged Emily. "Hug for my grumpy friend?" Earl looked up at Paige and obliged. "Have a nice walk," Emily called. "I hope we run into you again sometime!"

Earl and Nick ran off to rejoin Big Earl. Emily grabbed her girlfriend by the waist and started walking again. "Oh, Paige!"

"I know. He was cute. I want one, too. Someday"

After a moment, Emily asked, "Wait, are we talking about Nick or Earl?"

Paige just pulled her in tighter and kissed the top of her head, laughing.

* * *

Paige and Emily were both huffing from the cold when they came upon a coffee shop. "Is this place any good?" Emily asked.

"I don't know. It's new."

"Well, it can't be worse than standing out here, can it?"

Once inside and warming over a couple of coffee mugs, Emily spoke what was on her mind. "So, why is it that, whenever I mention kids, you just kind of smile and change the subject?"

Paige smiled at her. There was no changing the subject this time. "Well, it's kind of a long story."

"We've got all weekend!"

"Okay, well. Actually, it's not long. It's just… I don't know how you're going to react to this."

Emily grabbed Paige's hand to encourage her.

"It's just – well, I want a lot of kids around me. I mean, I want a big family someday, kids of my own, and kids I adopt. There are so many children out there who need a family. Also, I want to work with kids, like volunteer with special-needs kids or work in in school-age care, or even open up some kind of facility or group home, I don't know."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow. I bet you didn't know what you were getting into with me, did you?"

"Hey," Emily said, cupping Paige's cheek in her hands and smiling broadly, "You didn't dip your head!"

"What?"

"Usually, when you say something, and you're not sure I'll react, you dip your head!"

"Hmm. Yeah. Pru mentioned that, too."

"I guess that means that this is something that you feel strongly about."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"That's great, Paige. I love that you have such a big heart."

"The question is, how do _you_ feel about it? I mean, if we're going to be together – not that I'm asking you to…" Paige was rambling. "Or whatever. But, you know, if this isn't just a casual fling, then there's the chance that we _are_ going to be together. So, can you handle being… together with someone like me who wants a lot of kids?"

"And_ There's the head-dip!" Emily lifted Paige's chin and gave her a peck on the lips. "I've told you. I'm not going anywhere, remember?" Paige smiled and returned Emily's kiss. "And by the way, I would love to be surrounded by kids." A kiss. "And puppies!"

Paige laughed from deep within her. "Yes, of course! Lots of puppies, Emily."

When the coffee mugs were drained, Paige asked, "So, what do you want to do now?"

"Well," Emily replied, "I believe I still owe you one from last night. Plus, I believe I promised that I'd make it up to you if you came out for a walk with me."

Paige grabbed Emily's hands. "I was just joking, Emily. You don't have to make anything up to me."

"Well, _I_ wasn't joking. Oh, the things I'm going to do to you, Paige McCullers!"

All the way home, Emily was finding excuses to touch Paige – mainly on the muscles on her back and shoulders for which Emily had gained a new appreciation during the previous night's escapades. She also gave ample attention to Paige's butt, which she had long appreciated. Paige tried to play it cool, but she was really rather hot.

Once they made it back inside the lake house, Emily pushed her against the door and began slowly and sensually kissing her. Her lips and tongue were singularly focused, but her hands were roaming freely. She eased Paige out of her coat and massaged her shoulders, back, sides, and ass, moaning and cooing at every rippling muscle that she encountered. She pulled down the collar of Paige's sweater and explored her neck and throat with sucking, biting, wet kisses. She ran her hands through Paige's hair, grinding her thigh between Paige's as she sucked on Paige's tongue and lower lip. Paige could barely stand by the time Emily pulled away.

"Give me five minutes!" she commanded. "When the clock says 3:38, you come find me upstairs." Emily turned her back on Paige and headed toward the stairs with an exaggerated shaking of her hips as she went. She began shedding her outfit piece by piece on her way to the stairs, never turning around to see the effect that she was having on her girlfriend, until, finally, at the base of the steps, she removed her boyshorts and wiggled her bottom in Paige's direction, turning to blow her a kiss before she skipped up to the second floor.

Paige didn't know what to do with herself for the next five minutes. She certainly knew what she _wanted_ to do with herself, but she decided to play it Emily's way. She started to get undressed, then dressed herself again. Emily hadn't told her to take off her clothes, and she didn't want to ruin anything that Emily had in store for her. She stared at the minute hand on the old grandfather clock, willing it to move faster. She heard water running one of the upstairs bathrooms and heard Emily's footsteps moving quickly through the guest room where they were sleeping. She peeked up from the base of the stairway, but she couldn't see what was up.

Finally, the minute hand moved into position. Paige bounded up the steps two at a time and set out in search of Emily. She pushed open the door to the bathroom. "Em?" No one was there. The Jacuzzi had been filled, and there was a light steam coming off the surface as the hot water hit the cool air of the bathroom.

There was a light in the guest room. Paige eased the door open. "Em?" There on the bed, in an impossibly short robe, lay Emily. "Hey – I used to have a robe just like that!" Paige exclaimed without really thinking it through.

"Yeah. I raided your closet before we left," Emily said, getting up and walking over to Paige.

"I can't wait to see what else you found," Paige swooned.

"I didn't need anything else," Emily replied, dropping the robe to the floor, unveiling all her naked splendor. Paige quickly closed the distance between them and started kissing Emily as though this was their last night on Earth. Her hands were frantically grabbing every curve and sinew of her girlfriend's shapely body.

"Easy there, Tiger. Let's get you out of these clothes!"

Emily looked intensely into Paige's eyes, licking her lips as she slowly unbuttoned Paige's sweater, breaking eye contact only to deposit a kiss on the spot exposed by each button as it was opened. Once the sweater was off, Emily meticulously caressed Paige's bosom before reaching behind her and removing her bra. Emily leaned in so that their erect nipples were touching as she guided her hands over Paige's back. "Shit, Paige! You're so ripped!" Emily kissed in between Paige's breasts, but that was just a means to an end, as her lips and tongue sought out the creases on Paige's stomach, her hands moving down to the small of Paige's back.

Kneeling in front of her, she undid Paige's jeans with a moan. Her hands descended onto Paige's ass as she nuzzled Paige from the front. She yanked Paige's jeans down to her boots, smiling at the sight of Paige's soaked boxers. Emily pulled off Paige's boots, then her socks, jeans, and boxers. She couldn't resist taking a few tastes of Paige's wetness before she sprang to her feet, spun her weak-kneed girlfriend around, and exclaimed, "Come on! Let's get you to the Jacuzzi!"

The two stood knee-deep in the hot water for the longest time, kissing deeply with roaming hands. Emily positioned herself behind Paige and guided her to a seated position, in Emily's lap. Emily's hair was pulled up and she reached for a scrunchie to put up Paige's, too. She massaged Paige's back, rubbing a spot, kissing it, and moving on to the next. Paige was cooing with delight. Emily lay back against the wall of the Jacuzzi and pulled Paige in close, squishing her breasts against Paige's back. She gently massaged Paige's breasts as she kissed the nape of her neck and nibbled at her earlobe, occasionally snaking her tongue inside Paige's ear as she told her what she was thinking. "I love the feel of your breasts in my hands. Your breasts are so soft, but your nipples are so hard." She punctuated the statement with pinches to each. Paige's moans of delight were transformed into groans of need. She tightened her legs against each other, curling her toes in front of her. She reached a hand behind her back and grabbed the base of Emily's neck, drawing her closer to her. Emily reached down and rubbed Paige's slick thighs, coaxing them apart. She grazed her teeth over Paige's shoulders as her hands rubbed steadily higher and higher up Paige's thighs, converging at the center. Paige put her hands on top of Emily's, pressing them deep where she needed them. She threw her head back and barked, "Fuck, yes, Emily! Damn it! Right there! Oh, God, Yes!"

Emily was screaming, too. Paige was bucking her hips into Emily's thrusts, but the movement also meant that she was also grinding her ass into Emily. Their moves became sloppy and uncoordinated as each drew closer to the edge. Finally, Emily pushed Paige away from her and, in one swift, well-planned maneuver, spun Paige around in the Jacuzzi, spread her legs wide, and reached for a waterproof vibrator that she had hidden underneath a towel at the side of the tub. They'd never used any kind of toys in their lovemaking before. Emily turned it on and held it up for Paige's inspection. Paige's eyes grew wide. Her smile was even wider. She closed her eyes and bit her lip in anticipation. Emily eased the toy in slowly. "Talk to me, Baby." Emily looked at her with concerned eyes. "Goo – Good!" was all that Paige could force out. "Harder!" eventually followed.

Emily pulled in closer so that she could kiss Paige as she let the vibrator work its magic. When she felt Paige's breath grow ragged, she backed her head away, waiting for a cue. Paige threw her head back, panting heavily and bucking her hips wildly, digging her well-trimmed nails deep into Emily's back. Emily persevered through the sting until Paige froze, her body tensing and then relaxing as she sank down into the warm water.

"Fuck, Emily! Where the hell did that come from?"

Emily dipped her head. "Um... Merry Christmas?"


	20. Daddy's Girl

Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.  
― Leonardo da Vinci

Paige was sullen on the drive back from the lake house. "Missing our time alone?" Emily asked, taking her eyes off the road for a moment to check on her girlfriend.

Paige was quiet for a moment. "Yeah," she sighed at last. Emily put a comforting hand on her leg. That's when she noticed that Paige was doing the bouncy-leg thing that she did when she was anxious. "What's going on, Paige?"

"Nothing. Just missing the lake house, as you said."

"Then why are you doing the stanky leg?"

Paige deflected, "That's not the stanky leg."

"You know what I mean. What's up?"

Paige let out a deep sigh. "I'm just worried… What if I say something when my parents ask about the weekend?"

"You mean – you let it slip that… I'm your GIRLFRIEND!"

"Come on, Emily! I'm serious."

"What are you afraid that you're going to say? I mean, they sent us to the lake house by ourselves. I don't think that they really expected us to sleep in separate rooms!"

"Yeah, I know, Emily! But they don't need all the graphic details. 'So, how did you like the lake house?' 'Oh, it was great. We sat down in front of a nice, roaring fire, and Emily took me on Nana Mae's antique Persian rug!"

"And in the Jacuzzi…"

"Emily!"

"And in the kitchen…"

"It's not funny! I'm serious!"

"And on the deck in the snow… Aww – you look so cute when your face goes all red like that."

"Well, I'm glad _you_ think that this is so funny."

"Come on, Emily. You're not going to say anything like that."

"I'm glad you can be so sure!"

"Yeah, I _am_ sure! Nobody talks like that! This is real life, not some bad sitcom!"

Emily reassuringly stroked her thigh. Paige rested her head on her shoulder. "It is a _little_ funny, though, Paige," Emily said, holding her thumb and index finger close together to indicate _a little_. "– Ow!"

* * *

On Monday night, Marlene's women's Bible study group was coming over. "I do hope you'll stay, dear," she told Emily, "but we'll understand if you don't want to." She explained, "The women are really looking forward to meeting you. And they genuinely love you. You and they don't see eye-to-eye on everything, but they don't judge you."

Emily didn't want to offend Paige's family, but she really wasn't looking forward to being "tolerated." She looked to Paige for advice. "I mean," Paige explained, "they've always been lovely to me. They treated me like a daughter before I came to terms with who I am, and that really didn't change once I came out. It's not like the Christian groups who make all the headlines on TV."

"But, it's really your decision, dear," Mrs. McCullers reinforced. "If you and Paige want to go out and see the town tonight, the ladies will understand."

"Okay," Emily decided, "I'd love to meet them."

Later, when it was just the two of them, Emily asked Paige what the protocol was. "I don't know," Emily said, honestly, "I've never brought a girlfriend to one of these meetings before."

"You've got to give me something here, Paige…"

"I think we need to be ourselves, but be respectful. I mean, they've always been respectful of me. We talk about the Bible, but they don't use it to attack me, and I don't want to use who I am to attack them or make them uncomfortable. Like, for example, if I had a friend who thought that cows were sacred, she would probably know that I eat meat, but I'm not going to order a steak when we go out to dinner together, you know?"

"Okay. I've got it. I think."

Paige gave Emily a kiss. "Just be your normal, charming self – the way you always are. I guarantee you'll enjoy yourself."

The Bible study was nothing like what Emily expected. It was largely a social group, with refreshments and gossip, and the exchange of recipes and household tips. They gathered around the piano and sang a couple of hymns and some newer songs, the women shared how God had blessed them in the past week, and they discussed a passage from the Old Testament.

Emily was introduced to the group as, "my daughter's girlfriend." Paige occasionally reached for Emily's hand or punctuated a story by pulling Emily in by the shoulder, and if anyone was bothered by it, Emily saw no indication. At the end, they all held hands in a circle as several women prayed. A couple prayed specifically for Paige and Emily: that they would do well in college and would find fulfilment in their careers. Before the group disbanded, Emily got several hugs from ladies who seemed genuinely glad to have met her. Many told Paige how proud they were of her success at college. Emily didn't know quite what to make of it all. She couldn't help wondering what the group would have to say about her and Paige when they weren't around.

* * *

Thursday night was the last night that the four of them would have together. Nick McCullers took them to his favorite steakhouse for dinner. At the end of the meal, as they were waiting for their dessert, Paige, who was sitting between her father and Emily, linked her arms through her dad's arm and rested her head on his shoulder. They were both misty-eyed at the prospect of Paige's upcoming departure. Emily had observed that, while Paige loved both her parents, she was definitely a daddy's girl. She took out her phone and captured a picture of the two. Nick McCullers looked up and addressed her. "You've got to understand, Emily," he said, wiping his eye with the back of his hand, "you've loved my daughter for four months. I've loved her all her life." Paige held her dad a little tighter. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

* * *

Early Friday morning, Nick and Marlene McCullers drove the three students to the airport in Madison. Nick uncharacteristically gave Emily a hug, something Pru didn't fail to notice. Marlene assured her that they were always welcome to visit, and she promised to make arrangements to come out to Philadelphia to redeem their bus-tour tickets and to visit the girls on campus. With the final good-byes said, the trio headed into the terminal and the seemingly endless lines.

They managed to find three seats together on the plane. Emily took the window, because there was nothing out there that Pru wanted to look at, and Paige took the middle, so that she could talk with both her best friend and her girlfriend.

About halfway through the flight, Paige started getting bored. She had done both of the crosswords and most of the Sudoku, and had poked fun at all the outrageous gizmos that Skymall had to offer. She couldn't find anything better to do than tease her girlfriend. She angled her body away from Pru and the aisle and flashed Emily her right nipple. Emily, caught off guard, stifled a scream. "What the hell's wrong with you?" she whispered, laughing, "I swear you're worse than Hanna!"

Paige leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Do you want to join the mile-high club?""

"Paige McCullers! I'm not about to bang you in a cramped airplane bathroom!"

"Huh? What? You have to go to the bathroom?" Pru asked, drowsily, starting to undo her seat belt to let Emily out.

"No, Pru. Go back to sleep!" Paige coaxed. Turning back to Emily, she continued her plan. "Who said anything about a bathroom? She placed her jacket across Emily's lap, discreetly slipping her hand underneath.

"You know," Emily stuttered, trying her best to retain her composure, "When I first met you, you were this shy, tentative little freshman. It wasn't that long ago"

"Yeah? You miss that little freshman?" Paige's hand had found its way inside Emily's leggings. Emily arched her back slightly and dug her fingertips into Paige's shoulder, trying her best not to cry out, "Oh, God, no!"

Paige gave a smug giggle.

"You're going to get us thrown off this plane, McCullers."

When the weary travelers finally touched down, an overly excited Hanna was there to meet them. She zoomed right past Paige and Emily and engulfed Pru in a tight embrace, lifting her off of her feet as the two of them squealed with delight.

"Hi, Hanna! We're here, too!" Emily commented dryly.

"Yeah, yeah. I know all about your break. It was all over facebook – the lakeside loveshack, the little boy and puppy you adopted, the family photo with the McCullers clan. But I need to know what happened to YOU, Pru! Did Sean call you every night? Did he miss you? Did you guys have phone sex? Skype sex?"

Emily put her arm around Paige. "It looks as though I'm driving home! These two obviously have a lot of catching up to do!"

* * *

After two weeks of finals and another two of winter break, Paige had to get back into the rhythm of going to classes again. At the beginning of the school year, when she made her flight reservations for winter break, she had planned to get back to campus early, so that she could ease back into the routine and take care of things like buying books, but, when Emily entered the picture, she extended her ticket so that they'd have more time together. That was the right decision, of course, but, now, she was scrambling to get everything done. It helped to be dating an upperclassman who knew the ropes and could show her some shortcuts – as well as save her a couple of bucks at some off-campus used bookstores. And it was just more fun doing things with her girlfriend. Even mundane things like laundry didn't seem so much of a chore. Paige wondered how long that feeling would last.

* * *

"It sucks not to have any classes together this semester, doesn't it?" Emily was sitting across from Paige on their bed, talking about the start of classes.

"Tell me about it. I got spoiled having you there with me to distract me when that seminar got boring."

"Just promise me you won't find some other classmate to distract you!"

Paige knew that Emily was joking, but she wanted to be sure that Emily knew how she felt. She took both of Emily's hands and looked deep into her eyes. "Emily. Before I met you, you were the girl of my dreams. I never thought that those dreams would come true, and I never imagined that the reality would be so much better than everything that I had dreamt. I'm not looking for a better offer. Why would I, when you're more than I had ever hoped for? I mean, I know you're just kidding, and I don't mean to get all serious on you, but I want you to know that I'm not looking for a plan B. You're always telling me that you're not going anywhere. Well, I'm not going anywhere, either."

And, of course, they kissed.

"Aww – you guys are so freaking cute!" Hanna called out from the hallway.

"Oh my God! Please tell me that Hanna can't hear everything that goes on in here from her bedroom!"

"Relax, Paige! Trust me, if she could hear us, we'd know about it. She'd be hooting and hollering and cheering us on!"

* * *


	21. Workout Wednesdays

It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.  
– Simone Signoret

"Wow! I never knew you were so competitive!" Emily said, fighting to catch her breath. Now that she and Paige no longer had their Wednesday night seminar together, they decided to start "Workout Wednesdays". Their first night was basketball. Neither one had played competitively before, but Emily had always been athletic, and she had been sure that she could hold her own.

"You should've known," Paige replied as she took the ball out. "I told you that they named a penalty after me in field hockey!"

Paige had been talking trash (good-naturedly), boxing out on rebounds, and aggressively driving the lane. They were evenly matched, as far as the scoreboard was concerned, but Paige was definitely taking the game more seriously than Emily was. In any event, it was a great workout, and both of them were wiped out by the end. Paige pulled up the hem of her jersey to wipe the sweat off of her forehead, and Emily, already keyed up on endorphins, lost herself once she caught sight of the ripples on Paige's abs, glistening under a sheen of perspiration. She pushed into Paige for a deep, passionate kiss. And the hooting and whistling began.

The game had been so intense that they both forgot about the smattering of boys in the bleachers who seemed to think that the only reason two women would be on the basketball court was to meet guys. The kiss put the lie to that notion, but the boys didn't seem to mind. Emily raised her hand to their new fans, as though she'd just sunk the winning shot at the buzzer. Paige, whose face had turned a red that rivaled the crimson stripe running down the sides of her shorts, grabbed Emily's upraised hand and trotted the two of them off the court and into the locker room.

The girls got showered and dressed and headed off for a post-workout refueling. Paige was holding Emily's hand as they walked to Campus Grounds. All of a sudden, Emily tightened her grip on Paige's hand. When Paige looked over to see what had triggered this change, she saw that Emily was no longer smiling but, rather, glaring, with narrowed eyelids. She followed Emily's gaze and saw Shana heading their way. "Oh, it's Shana - I told you that she's a TA for my calculus class, right?"

"Paige! It's good to see you!" Shana oozed, extending her hands as though she were about to give the girl a hug. She didn't. "And…"

"Emily," Emily supplied, through her teeth.

"Emily, right!" Shana echoed, with familiarity.

"We've actually never met," Emily corrected. She was being civil, but just barely.

"I know! But this one talks about you all the time!" As Shana said "this one," she reached out a hand and allowed it to land softly on Paige's forearm, a gesture that did not go unnoticed.

"Yes," Emily sneered, her eyes burning holes in Shana's fingers at the points where they contacted Paige's sleeve, "I talk about my _girlfriend_ all the time, too."

"Can't say I blame you!" Shana gingerly retracted her arm, slightly amused. "So, Paige," she continued, turning her gaze fully to the freshman, "I noticed that my section is filling up fast! You'd better sign up and get your name on the list before it maxes out!" she said, with a playful giggle. "Anyway – you two enjoy your evening! Nice to see you both!" She gave Paige a slight hug. She moved in to repeat the gesture with Emily, but read her body language and wisely backed off.

Shana traipsed off into the night, and Emily released her death grip on Paige's hand. Paige shook it out in an exaggerated motion, as if to get the blood circulating again. Emily just shook her head. Paige started to giggle.

"Would you mind telling me what's so funny?" Emily was clearly annoyed.

Paige stifled her giggles. "Nothing." She paused. "You're just so cute when you're jealous," she said, stroking Emily's cheek.

"I'm not jealous. I have no reason to be." Emily was trying to calm her body down.

"Of course you don't, Sweetie!" Paige affectionately grabbed Emily's arm with both hands, leaning her head on Emily's shoulder.

"You're not signing up for her section, though, I can tell you that!" Emily said under her breath.

Paige stopped in her tracks and cocked her head to the side, a little hurt. "I know that! You don't think I know that?"

Emily leaned over and gave Paige's cheek a quick peck. "Yeah? Well… Good."

* * *

Next Workout Wednesday, it was Emily's turn to choose the activity, so, in the evening, they found themselves doing lazy backstrokes side by side in the pool to warm up.

"I thought that, after your injury, you couldn't swim anymore," Paige postulated.

"I can't swim at the competitive level – unless I want to depend on pain-killers and subject my shoulder to constant re-injury and surgery. I can still swim for fun and for aerobics, though. God, I don't know what I would do if I could never swim at all anymore."

"Still, that really sucks. It must've been so hard to have to give that up."

"Yes, it was. And I mourned over it, but it's in my past, now. "

"Did you ever think about coaching?"

"I'd like to coach kids –ones who are just starting out. My high school coach runs a weeklong camp for beginners every summer, and I've been volunteering there for the past couple of years."

"You'll have to give me the dates! Maybe I could join you – if you could use another volunteer. I love working with kids!"

"We can always use another volunteer! And I'd definitely put in a good word for you with coach!"

The two swam in silence for a while before Emily spoke again. "Why did you give up swimming competitively?"

"That's… It's sort of hard for me to put it in words. I mean, basically, it came down to – well, you saw how competitive I get when I do sports, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely saw Competitive McCullers!"

"Yeah. And, I just – I guess, I didn't really like who I was when I was competing, you know? I didn't really recognize myself. So, when I finished my senior year, I decided – college: What a great place to redefine myself. So, I shed my competitive skin, so I could just be the sweet girl you see before you."

"You didn't think about athletic scholarships at all?"

"Yeah – that was tough. I did get recruited a bit. But, I talked it over with my parents, and they understood. It was still kind of hard – you know – teams were such a big part of my…" Paige noticed that Emily wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, I don't fucking believe this girl! What is she, stalking you now?"

Paige looked over to see Shana, in what looked to be her high school warm up suit, stretching out at the side of the pool. "I guess we're not the only ones who used to be on the swim team!" she tried to joke.

"Did you tell her that we were going to be here?" Emily realized how ridiculous the question was even as she asked it.

"Emily, I haven't even talked to her."

"So, what the fuck is she doing here?" Emily asked no one in particular, her tone frustrated rather than angry.

"We can leave if you want to. It's no big deal." They were both treading water at this point.

Emily collected herself. "No. It's fine. I'm not going to make this into a thing. She has every right to be here, and so do we."

"Good!" Paige affirmed as she playfully dunked her girlfriend under the water. "I'll race you to the deep end!"

* * *

That night, Emily spooned Paige closer than usual. She buried her nose in Paige's hair and kept taking deep inhales.

"Okay, that's kind of creepy! Cut it out!"

"Don't you love the smell of chlorine, Paige?" Emily inhaled again. "God – I'd forgotten how much I missed it!"

"No, I always _hated_ the smell of chlorine. Even after swim season, it was as though I could never get that smell out of my hair!"

"Good! I hope you _can't_ get the scent out of your hair! I love it! They should make chlorine shampoo! Yeah – that's actually a great idea! How do we make that happen?"

"Em, you're crazy. And you're weirding me out!"

"Can I help it if I love the smell of chlorine on my girlfriend?" Emily grabbed a handful of Paige's hair and took an exaggerated whiff.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me that that's what attracted you to me in the first place! Like, you could still make out the faint hint of chlorine on me?"

"I wouldn't doubt it!" Emily breathed her girlfriend in. "Maybe on some primal, subconscious, pheromone level."

"All right – this is too weird! Maybe I should go sleep on the futon tonight."

"No! Stay! Be my little chlorine teddy bear!"

"Your _what_?"

"I don't know! Just stay with me!" Emily pleaded, whining.

"God – whatever! Sniff away!" Paige rolled onto her back in surrender. Emily wrapped her arm around Paige's waist and pulled herself in tight.

"See? This is nice…"

"Mm hmm. Go to sleep."

Emily closed her eyes and visualized herself back in the pool. She bolted upright abruptly. "Paige! We should totally get a waterbed!"


	22. A night out, a day in

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home.  
– Mother Teresa

"So, is this going to be the most awkward dinner ever?" Paige asked, jockeying for position front of the mirror.

"Why do you think it's going to be awkward?" Emily tugged at her eyelid as she applied liner.

"I mean, didn't Hanna start dating Sean when she was 'on a break' from Caleb? How do you think Caleb's going to handle hanging out with his girlfriend's ex for the whole meal?"

"Naw – Caleb's pretty chill. He's probably going to be glad that Sean's here, so he'll have someone to talk to. You're the one I'm worried about – are _you_ going to be okay?"

"Me? Yeah, why? Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Well, you know, seeing Hanna with her new bestie, who happens to be your ex-bestie."

"What do you mean, 'ex?' She's known me all her life! She's only known Hanna for like two minutes!"

"She's known Hanna as long as you've known me!"

"Yeah, so?"

"I'm just saying, we've gotten pretty close!"

Paige elbowed Emily in the ribs. "I think I can handle it!"

* * *

Pru had been looking forward to this evening all week. Although her friends had met Sean, this was their first chance to socialize with them as a couple. Pru was facetiming with Hanna, wanting to make sure that her outfit was just right. "My God, that place is dark! I forgot how dark it was!" Pru had informally taken over Paige's old room, now that Paige was living with Emily. Pru got along with her roommates well enough, but it was nice to have some privacy when she needed it. Like tonight.

"I know – I'm so glad that Emily rescued Paige from this place. Paige never shut up about how the gray was driving her crazy. So what do you think of this color?"

"I can't even tell – that room is so dark!"

* * *

Hanna had made dinner arrangements in the private dining area upstairs from Club Fake, a nightspot that was too hip for its own good. She knew someone. The girls all enjoyed the opportunity to get dressed up and cut loose for an evening. The guys were tolerating it.

Pru was showcasing her new boyfriend much in the way that she would display a show pony that she had spent the season grooming and training. Paige was happy for her friend and amused at the same time. As Emily had predicted, Caleb was getting along with Sean just fine, comparing notes on the little quirks that made Hanna different. "And, by 'different,' they mean 'awesome!'" Hanna assured everyone. At first, Pru was miffed that her date was spending so much time talking about his, but, after a bit, she found herself getting caught up in the conversation, sharing her own experiences of Hanna and her awesomeness. Finally, Hanna, fed up with being ganged up on, declared dinner over and led everyone downstairs for dancing and drinks.

The club was a little too dark and a little too loud, and the smell of stale beer and expectations was a little overpowering. After about a half hour of tearing up the dance floor with Pru, Hanna, and their dates, Emily grabbed Paige and went off to lay claim to a table.

She was developing a bit of a headache.

"Are you all right?" Paige asked, yelling over the music. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." Emily leaned in close so that she wouldn't have to yell quite so loud. "I was just starting to get a headache"

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"No – I don't want to bail on Pru. I know how much she's been looking forward to this evening."

"She'll be fine! We got to hang out with her boyfriend. That's all she wanted. She'll understand that we need to get home."

"I'm really fine for now. I want to enjoy our night out. We've both been so busy, we hardly ever get a chance to have fun."

The two sat in silence, not wanting to have to compete with the sound system to communicate. They were keeping an eye on Pru and Hanna's antics on the dance floor. Paige leaned over to comment on Sean and Caleb's dancing strategy – basically, they were leaning back and letting their girlfriends have their fun – when she noticed that Emily had slumped her head in her arms."

"Do you need to get some air?"

"I'm fine, really. Just – can you find me an aspirin?"

"Of course! Sit here. I'll be right back." Paige put out a hand to cup Emily's cheek. "Holy shit, Em! You're burning up!"

"Yeah. You're right. I guess I do need to get some air!"

"No! You're sick! I'm taking you home!"

"I'm not sick. I'm not going to ruin our night out!"

"Damn it, Emily! Don't be so stubborn! I'm taking you home, and I'm going to put you in bed. No arguments!"

Emily felt as though the softball team had been using her head for batting practice. She was in no position to argue.

"Just let me go tell Pru and Hanna what's going on. You wait right here."

There was something about this "take charge" Paige that Emily liked. Why did she have to show up on the night that Emily felt like roadkill?

* * *

Emily stumbled into the living room hugging herself tightly. Her face was hidden behind a curtain of hair as she collapsed on the sofa.

"Paige," she said in a weak, gravelly voice, "why did you let me sleep so late?"

Paige looked up from the paper that she was typing into her laptop. "Jesus, Emily! You look horrible!"

"Thanks. I love you, too," Emily croaked

"Go back to bed! What are you even doing out of bed? Did you take that Tylenol I left on the bedside table?" Paige got up and found a throw-blanket to cover Emily.

"It's almost noon! I can't believe you let me sleep all day!" Emily countered weakly, rebelliously tossing the throw aside.

"Because you're sick! You were coughing and wheezing all night, and you look as though your head weighs about two tons right now."

"I feel fine," Emily groaned. "I'm Emily Fields! I don't get sick! I had perfect attendance all through high school!"

"Well, I don't know what the hell you call this, but, in English, we call it 'sick!'"

"I'm fine! Just a slight headache. I just need those Tylenol to kick in!"

"Oh, really? Then let me see you take a deep breath."

Paige inhaled deeply only to launch into a prolonged coughing fit.

"Oh, Paige! I can't be sick!"

"Why not? What do you have to do today?"

"Nothing! I just – I don't get sick! It's mind over matter. I can overcome it."

"Emily. Just admit it: You're sick. But don't worry. Your _girlfriend_ is here to take care of you. You lie here while I run you a nice, hot bath. With those lavender bath salts. Then, I'll scrub your back and you can fall asleep till the water starts to get cold, and I'll dry you off and wrap you up in that big, comfy robe of mine that you're always 'borrowing,' and I'll tuck you into bed."

"You're going to take care of me?" Emily smiled.

"Yes, Sweetie. I'm going to take care of you."

"I'm sick."

"Yes, you are," Paige agreed, pressing a kiss to Emily's forehead as she pulled the throw back over her. "Now, just wait here while I get the bath ready."

Emily smiled. "You're the sweetest, most caring girlfriend ever."

"I know. I know." Paige was trying not to be patronizing. "Just try to get some rest."

"Paige?"

"Yes, Sweetie?"

"Do you think you could make me some tea?"

"Of course, I'll make you some tea. I'll make that God-awful herbal tea that you love so much. I'll make you anything you need. I'm going to take care of you." Paige bent down and kissed her girlfriend.

"No! Don't kiss me! I don't want you to get sick!"

"I'll take my chances..."

"No, Paige! You can't get sick! You promised that you'd take care of me!"

When Paige returned with the tea, Emily pulled her down to sit on the couch with her.

"I'm just going to go get the bath started," Paige told her. "I'll be right back."

"No," Emily insisted, wrapping her arms around Paige. "Just stay with me for a while!"

"Okay."

"So, how did Pru make out last night? I feel so bad for bailing on them."

"She was fine. They didn't end up staying too long after we left. She called me this morning to see how you were. She feels bad, as if it's her fault that you got sick."

"Yes. I blame her!" Emily shifted on the sofa, making room for Paige to lie next to her. "This is nice," she said.

"What? Being sick?"

"You. Me. Cuddling in the afternoon."

"Mmmm." Emily cuddled her tighter. It wasn't long before Paige felt her breathing even out and heard a light snoring in her ear. _Yeah, this_ is _nice_ , Paige thought, before she drifted off to sleep alongside her.


	23. Family Ties

Ritual is important to us as human beings. It ties us to our traditions and our histories.  
– Miller Williams

"You know, my parents are really okay with staying in a hotel!"

"Yeah, my Mom would _kill_ me if she knew that I let your parents stay in a hotel!"

"It's not as though there are no hotels in Wisconsin, you know! They've actually stayed in hotels before."

"You know my Mom. She loves to dote on people. Especially now that I'm out of the nest. Besides, imagine if it were the other way around. Do you think your mom would let my parents stay in a hotel?"

Paige and Emily were on their way to the airport in Philadelphia to pick up Nick and Marlene McCullers. They were visiting for the long, Martin Luther King Jr. Day weekend to meet Emily's parents and use the tickets for the tour of the city that Emily had given them for Christmas.

"Are you worried that your parents won't get along with my parents?"

"More like worried that they'll start planning our wedding," Paige muttered. She tensed up immediately panicked over having let that comment slip out even as a joke. Less than six months into a relationship was way too early to invoke the "W" word.

Emily looked over her and smiled, grasping her hand. "You know, they're going to have to fight Hanna for the wedding planner job!"

* * *

Emily dropped Paige off at the Arrivals door and circled around to the cell-phone lot. Once Paige had claimed her parents and they had claimed their luggage, she gave Emily a call. Emily brought the car around. They had planned for Nick McCullers to sit in the front seat, where there was more legroom, but he would have none of that. "Far be it from me to come between you two!" Emily was secretly relieved at this. The thought of driving to Rosewood with her girlfriend's father riding shotgun was a bit intimidating. Paige spent most of the car ride turned around in her seat, catching up with her parents. Emily was smiling to herself at the way they got along together. She couldn't help reaching over to Paige's knee and smiling at the sheer cuteness of it. Paige looked away from her parents for a moment to smile back at Emily, putting her hand on top of Emily's on her knee, not really knowing what brought on the gesture.

Marlene McCullers greeted Pam Fields with a warm hug. Their husbands greeted each other with a firm handshake. "Thanks for serving our country, Wayne!"

"It's an honor. Did you serve? You carry yourself like a Marine."

"Just JROTC and ROTC. The things I learned there have stuck with me, I guess."

Pam got her guests settled in their room and they all piled into Wayne Fields' SUV and headed to dinner. When Emily was younger, she had a craving for pancakes, so it became a Fields family tradition to go out for breakfast on Friday nights.

* * *

Nick McCullers and Wayne Fields spent much of the evening comparing notes from college. They'd both gone to Big Ten schools, so they couldn't resist renewing the friendly rivalry.

"I must have played against you at some point."

"I would've been on the bench when you were there. I didn't get any playing time till the year after you graduated."

"I understand that Paige was very athletic in high school. She didn't want to pursue sports in college?"

"No. We discussed it, but she decided that wasn't who she wanted to be anymore."

"Was it hard to let go of that dream?"

"For her or for me?" Nick laughed. "Because I think that I took it harder than she did! You know, I haven't always understood my daughter, but I've always stood behind her. She's my gift from God, and I treasure her."

"Yeah – there's nothing like a daughter's love, is there?"

"Nothing in the world," Nick agreed, looking across the table at his daughter. Feeling his eyes on him, Paige looked away from her conversation and shot him a smile.

* * *

Paige and Emily stayed in Rosewood overnight so that they could all drive into Philadelphia in one car and save on parking. Paige slept in Emily's room. Emily slept on the couch. They got an early start for a Saturday, because they wanted to get to Sabrina's for breakfast before the line grew too impossibly long. Breakfast for two meals in a row was a bit much, but Paige didn't want her parents to go back to Wisconsin without experiencing a Philadelphia classic.

The tour was a hop-on-hop-off arrangement, allowing them to spend as much or as little time at each site as they pleased. Nick McCullers' one goal was to do a Rocky Run up the steps of the art museum. It was incredibly cheesy, and everyone refused to join him – except Emily. She played along even through Nick's humming of the Rocky theme and through his celebration at the top, throwing his hands in the air just like Rocky Balboa. Naturally, he wanted a picture with the Rocky statue, and he even flagged down another tourist so that both of the families could get in.

It made Paige feel good to see the way that Emily was hitting it off with her dad. She sat next to him on a few of the legs of the bus tour, and she kept pulling him by the elbow to point out different attractions as they walked through the city.

After lunch and a few more attractions, they headed back to Rosewood. Pam insisted on giving Paige's parents a home-cooked meal, although everyone was tired from all the walking and urged her just to order a pizza for dinner. Paige volunteered to help. She had been to the house often enough to know her way around Pam Fields' kitchen, and she enjoyed having a well-stocked pantry to work with, as opposed to the hit-or-miss fare back at the apartment. Pam refused Marlene's offers of help. "You're our guests! You relax!"

"I guess that makes you part of the family, Paige!" Emily quipped. Pam gave Paige a side-hug in agreement.

* * *

On the drive back to the apartment that night, Emily remarked, "You know, I really love your dad."

Paige smiled. "Yeah. He can be scary, sometimes. He's like this big, grouchy grizzly bear, but he always shows me his soft side."

"Really? Scary?"

"Really. Ask Pru. She used to be terrified of him when we were younger. To tell you the truth, I think she's still a little intimidated by him."

"I guess that explains why she and Hanna magically disappeared this weekend."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that were the reason!"

"But, seriously, your dad doesn't seem scary at all to me. He's actually really sweet."

Paige just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What's that supposed to mean."

"As if you don't know." Paige paused. Emily really didn't get it. "My Dad's like in love with you."

"Huh?"

"Seriously – he's like obsessed with you." Paige continued, mocking her dad's voice, "'How's Emily?' 'Are you treating Emily right?' 'Put Emily on the phone!' It's as if you're the daughter he never had."

Emily chuckled. "Well, maybe he'll get to have me as a daughter someday…" Paige's heart melted at the fact that Emily would even go there. "Because maybe he'll adopt me," Emily continued, killing the moment. Paige smashed her fist into her snarky girlfriend's shoulder.

* * *

On Sunday morning, they all headed to Pam and Wayne's church in Rosewood. It wasn't Paige and Emily's first time there, so they knew the boundaries. Still, there was something that seemed fitting about it all: Two families from different backgrounds coming together over a shared and familiar ritual. Both girls considered themselves spiritual persons, and they decided, while they were there, to celebrate the uplifting and the positive in the ceremony and let the rest roll away.

Sunday afternoon, they worshiped at the altar of the NFL. Pam and Wayne had invited a couple of neighbors over to watch the conference championships and gorge themselves on pizza and wings. Emily and Paige managed to sneak off for a few moments just to chill by themselves. Pam, and, eventually, Marlene stumbled upon them in their retreat. They ended up playing a few rounds of Uno, watching the games on the much smaller TV, in the less boisterous and much less competitive atmosphere of the living room.

* * *

On Monday morning, Emily and Paige drove out to Rosewood to take Paige's parents to the airport. This time, Nick didn't protest riding shotgun with his new pseudo-daughter. Paige was glad to have some time to catch up with her mom. All too soon, they were at the terminal exchanging good-by hugs.

Paige gave Emily a kiss before they got back into the car. "Thanks for being so great with my parents."

Emily kissed her back. "You say that as if it were a chore. Your parents are great, Paige. I loved spending this weekend with them."

"I'm glad that's how you feel. Family means a lot to me." With one more hug, they headed back to school.


	24. The End

**A/N: Thanks so much to all of you who have read this story when there are so many Paily fics out there that are much, much better. Special thanks to those who have left reviews. The fact that you would devote your precious time to reading and reviewing it really means a lot to me.**

**I love you all!**

* * *

 

True love stories never have endings.  
– Richard Bach

Emily stood alone in one of the side rooms in the back of the church, trying to regain her composure. She had promised herself that she wasn't going to cry today, but nothing had prepared her for the sheer emotional weight of this day. The time had finally come. In just a few moments, she would march out into the church to be united in marriage with the only woman whom she had ever truly loved.

They had been together for seven years and had lived together for all but the first two months of that time. Paige officially moved into Emily and Hanna's apartment when she returned to school for the start of her sophomore year. Emily and Hanna graduated at the end of that school year. Emily stayed on for her master's degree while Hanna headed up to New York for an internship in the design industry. Pru, whose on-again-off-again relationship with Sean Ackard we definitively off by the time that class graduated, moved into Hanna's old room in the fall.

When Paige graduated, she and Emily considered moving to the Midwest, closer to Paige's family, for Paige's graduate studies, but, in the end, Paige decided that she really liked Philadelphia and the Northeast, so she found a graduate program and Emily found an internship in Philadelphia. Pru spent a year in Philadelphia before heading to Europe to "find herself." Eventually, she found herself back in Wisconsin, living with her parents while she completed her master's.

It was never really just the two of them, Paige and Emily. Paige felt herself being swallowed up, somewhat, in Rosewood, since she lived closer to Emily's family and high school friends. There were a smattering of friends that Paige and Emily had collected together in college, but it was hard for Paige not to miss having a soulmate like the one whom she had in her lifelong friend, Pru. Still, she loved Philadelphia, and, now that she and Emily were no longer on the same campus, Paige found herself cultivating a couple of close friendships that were just her own, much as Emily was forming friendships with colleagues from her job.

It had long been a foregone conclusion that Paige and Emily were going to get married. The only questions were when, and who would propose. Paige thought that the whole idea was silly. They were two adults who loved each other, and she didn't think that she needed to win Emily's hand or to have Emily win hers. Emily, though, was adamant that they needed an engagement story to tell their children. Paige conceded, and actually found herself getting excited thinking about how Emily was going to try surprise her.

And Emily was determined to surprise her. She even faked Paige out a couple of times, one time suggesting, out of the blue, that they go to Campus Brew; the site of their first date, once taking Paige to the Roxy, a place to which they'd never returned since the night when they saw most of the movie Rudy before a hot and heavy bathroom break; even getting them a weekend at the Bed and Breakfast where they had first consummated their love. All were false alarms.

Early in the summer, Emily got a call from Hanna. She was going to be giving a lecture back on campus on the subject of getting started in the design industry. Since Paige and Emily were still in the area, she wanted them to come along for moral support. They were glad to oblige.

Emily ended up getting stuck at work on the night of the lecture, so she and Paige were running late. By the time they got to the lecture hall, Hanna's presentation was already in progress, and the room was packed. The lights were dimmed so that people could see the images that were being projected on the screen. Emily and Paige didn't see any place to sit and didn't want to make a ruckus, so they were standing by the door until Hanna subtly gestured them toward seats in the front. Emily took a seat in the front row. Paige was forced to sit a couple of rows behind her. Only when she sat there – two seats back and one off to the side of Emily – did she realize that they were in the room where they used to have their Economics of Feminism seminar. Just as this dawned on her, Hanna projected an image of a mural – the mural that she had made for the dull gray walls of Paige's old dorm room. There everything was: Their hands, their silhouettes, their date at the brew. Paige's heart started to beat faster. Emily got up and addressed the group. "Excuse me, Ms. Marin, I hate to interrupt, but that mural and this room, are very special to me." Paige hid her face behind her hands and felt her body flushing as an enormous smile stretched across her face. Emily continued, "But what makes them special is a woman, the love of my life, who's sitting in the third row. Paige McCullers, you are my world. You are my hopes, my dreams, my wish come true." Emily got on one knee and extended a box with a ring in it towards Paige. "Paige, will you marry me and make me the happiest woman in the world?"

"Yes," Paige almost whispered. Then, louder, she repeated, "Yes! YES!" until she was almost shouting. The room was cheering. As Paige ran over to kiss Emily, the lights came up, and, soon, they were surrounded by their parents, Pru, and other close friends. Paige was crying. This set Emily off, as well. "How did you do all this?"

"It wasn't easy! Pru and Hanna took care of getting our families and friends here, so that I wouldn't have to sneak around behind your back. The rest of the people here are students in the art department. Hanna called some of her old profs and got them to reserve the room and get some freshmen to fill the seats."

Paige, Emily, their families and friends ended up going for coffee at Campus Grounds after the proposal. It was there where Paige pulled out a surprise of her own. She stood up and got everyone's attention. "First of all, I'd like to thank my fiancée for getting you all together here tonight. You know, I've been carrying something around for the past couple of months. I almost didn't bring it with me to Hanna's 'lecture,' but I'm glad that I did. Emily Fields, we've shared our home, our joy, our tears, and our lives for these past almost seven years. Well, there's one more thing I'd like to share with you. Back in the lecture hall, you said that I could make you the happiest woman in the world." Emily dropped to a knee and pulled a small, black satchel with a diamond ring from her pocket. "Would you be willing to share that title, and make me the co-happiest woman in the world?"

* * *

Emily poked her head out into the hallway to summon Hanna to make some final adjustments to her dress. Emily was pure elegance in the strapless, corseted tulle gown with a train that seemed to flow forever. Her veil was a whisper of lace. Her hair cascaded in waves over her shoulder and danced down her exposed back. Hanna had designed the dress just for her and kept it top secret from Paige. By the same token, she had refused to give Emily any hints about the suit that she had designed for Paige to wear.

Paige had Pru with her in her preparation room on the opposite side of the church. Paige had hoped that Pru's presence would calm her down, but that was impossible, though this was no fault of Pru's. Paige's excitement was just off the charts. As the minutes ticked away, Pru finally just grabbed Paige and hugged her, physically stilling her body until her mind also grew still. The knock on the door came: It was time to begin.

Emily and Paige's attendants had already entered from the rear of the church. Emily and Paige were to enter from opposite sides of the front of the church, seeing each other for the first time at the same time. Emily's father escorted her in his full-dress uniform. Paige's father wore a tux with tails. Emily almost burst out laughing when she saw Paige, not in a suit, but in an elegant, strapless, floor-length, black satin pencil dress that was snug at the body and topped with a bolero jacket. Her hair was pulled to the right side of her head in a loose braid with white rosettes. Emily's almost laughter was because she knew how much Paige hated and avoided wearing dresses, but, once she took in the full sight of her fiancée, laughter was the last thing on her mind. Paige looked stunning. After all their years together, she looked fresh and new.

Paige was similarly bowled over by the sight of Emily. She actually stumbled in her dad's arms in awe. Each father hugged his daughter and shook his counterpart's hand before they were seated. Emily and Paige joined hands and stepped up to the altar, facing the officiant.

Paige and Emily had put a lot of research into the ceremony. They wanted it to stand out and be remembered as something unique, not as a political statement, but as an expression of love between two soulmates. They chose every song, every reading, and every line of their vows with purpose. As they stood hand in hand, they turned to look at each other as the children's choir from the church in Rosewood sang Shania Twain's wedding anthem, "From this Moment On."

Pam Fields and Marlene McCullers shared a reading from the Bible:

_Place me like a seal over your heart,_   
_like a seal on your arm;_   
_for love is as strong as death,_   
_its ardor unyielding as the grave._   
_It burns like blazing fire,_   
_like a mighty flame._   
_Many waters cannot quench love;_   
_rivers cannot sweep it away._   
_If one were to give_   
_all the wealth of one's house for love,_   
_it would be utterly scorned._

For the exchange of rings, first Paige, then Emily, recited their vows:

_Emily, in the sight of God, and our friends and family gathered here, I take you as my wife. All that I have, I give to you. All that I am, I share with you. Wherever life leads us, I will walk together with you, one in mind, one in spirit, one in purpose, as long as we both shall live._

As they lit a unity candle, Pru came to the podium and sang an old standard from the 1930s, "Just the Way You Look Tonight."

_Some day, when I'm awfully low_   
_When the world is cold_   
_I will feel a glow just thinking of you_   
_And the way you look tonight_

_Yes, you're lovely with your smile so warm_   
_And your cheeks so soft_   
_There is nothing for me but to love you_   
_And the way you look tonight_

_With each word your tenderness grows_   
_Tearing my fear apart_   
_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose_   
_It touches my foolish heart_

_Lovely, never ever change_   
_Keep that breathless charm_   
_Won't you please arrange it?_   
_'Cause I love you just the way you look tonight_   
_Just the way you look tonight_

Finally, the minister pronounced them married, and finally, Paige lifted Emily's veil and they shared their first kiss as a married couple. It meant as much to Paige as all of the other kisses that she and Emily had shared rolled together, from that first, spontaneous kiss outside Emily's car to the yearning, soulful kiss that they had exchanged as they parted that morning, before they went their separate ways to get prepared for the day.

Paige and Emily had promised themselves that they would be in the moment throughout their wedding day – not looking ahead or looking back, but savoring each moment as it occurred – and Paige was fully savoring the moment of their kiss. It was as if the kiss was happening in slow motion; it was as if time stood still; it was a kiss for all eternity. Only when the applause that had begun when the kiss did started devolving into hoots and whistles did she and Emily realize that they had been locking lips for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Uncomfortable for their guests, that is. They would have been content to grow old in that kiss.

After the recessional, the newlyweds and their families and attendants headed to the art museum for pictures. The couple and their dads did a Rocky Run up the steps, the fathers raising their hands in triumph over their daughters who were locked in a kiss. The photographer snapped image after image with all of the combinations of family and friends until, finally, having gotten everything that she needed, she released the group to join the rest of the guests at the reception.

There was a boisterous cheer when, after the flower girl, the ring bearer, and all of the bridesmaids and bridesmen were introduced, Emily and Paige were announced for the first time as wives. There was some confusion: Were they Paige and Emily Fields? McCullers? Fields-McCullers? The announcement was just "Paige and Emily," and they were content to leave the group guessing.

* * *

" _So, are you taking my name or am I taking yours?" Emily asked._

" _Please." Paige replied. "We're getting married. I'm not adopting you."_

" _But people are used to couples having the same name."_

" _So? Who cares about people? Nothing about our relationship is what people are used to. I love you, Emily. I love Emily Fields. I don't want you to have to change because you're becoming my wife. Do you want me to change?"_

" _I don't want you to change. I'm just saying, we could change our names. And, let's face it, we_ will _change when we get married. We're already changing because of our relationship."_

" _Well, if you want me to take your name, I'll consider it. I want to do it because it's what you want, though, not because it's what you think people will expect of us."_

" _We could both change. It would show that we're both starting something new. It would show that we're together. We could be McCullers-Fields or Fields-McCullers."_

" _No way. I'd hate for our children to have to put that on the SAT forms."_

" _Well, what_ are _they going to put on the SAT forms, Paige? Are they going to have my name or yours?"_

_Paige took a moment to contemplate this. "Oh, shit. I never thought about that."_

_One evening, after a long day of wedding planning, Paige and Emily were having drinks with Hanna. They had exhausted themselves looking through color patterns, checking out venues, and sampling menus.  
_

_As the conversation hit a lull, Emily asked Paige, "Shall we tell Hanna about our latest problem?"_

" _Tell me!" Hanna chimed in, "I'm here to solve your problems!"_

_Her clients filled her in on their name dilemma. She let them run through all of the considerations and ramifications before she weighed in. "Well, this is an easy one!"_

_They both looked at her, in shocked anticipation._

_She pulled her big wedding notebook out of her bag, turning it back to the cover page as she spoke. "You guys should just use the name that I've been using for you all this time," she said, pointing out the label on the front of the book:_ **McFields Wedding**.

_Paige and Emily looked at each other and laughed. "I'm game if you are, Emily!"_

" _I'm game – Paige McFields!"_

* * *

Somewhere during dinner, Paige realized that her face was starting to hurt from all of the day's smiling. Her lips were also feeling a little chapped from all of the times when people clinked their glasses to get her and Emily to kiss. They made the rounds from table to table, thanking all of their guests; Paige introducing Emily to some of the Wisconsin crowd whom Emily hadn't met, and Emily introducing her to family members who had come from out of state.

After dinner, they cut the cake, and surprised everyone by feeding each other like two civilized women, rather than smashing cake into each other's face. Pru and Hanna made toasts, and Pam and Marlene made short speeches, welcoming the other's family as they joined together.

Paige and Emily shared their first dance as brides to the song, "At Last," by Etta James. Midway through, Nick and Wayne cut in. Paige thought that the day couldn't be more perfect, though, of course, the best was yet to come.

* * *

In the back of the limousine, the newlyweds were behaving like two horny teenagers on prom night. They had the privacy screen up between themselves and the driver, and they couldn't take their hands (or any other body parts) off of each other. The day had just been too beautiful, too filled with constant reminders of how much they loved each other and of just what this day meant for them. They were behaving as they were not out of lust but out of an overflow of emotion. The limo took them to the hotel in Old City where they had the bridal suite reserved for the night before their flight the next morning. The hotel's valet had the good sense to knock on the darkened window before opening the door; apparently, he'd had experience with newlyweds in limousines. Paige and Emily took a moment to collect themselves before they opened up the door to face the outside world.

Once they got to their room, things slowed down considerably. Once inside, the overload of emotions that Paige was experiencing manifest itself through tears, and she found herself weeping in her wife's arms as they sat on the bed, still in their gowns. Emily nudged Paige's head and gave her a gentle kiss of reassurance, not intending for it to ignite the flame that it did. Paige deepened the kiss, drawing Emily in by her hair. Emily's hands roamed up and down Paige's back. Without a word, without breaking the kiss, they stood up at the same time and began unzipping one another and helping each other out of their gowns. Finally released from this outermost layer, Paige took Emily's hands and stared deeply into her eyes. "You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful bride in the history of creation." Emily held Paige's gaze and responded with two words that were almost whispered: "You are." Their lips met once again as their hands explored every inch of each other slowly, appreciatively. That night, their love made everything new. Everything was happening for the first time. With their final layer of clothing finally resting on the carpet, Emily led her wife to the bed, pulled back the covers, and turned out the light.

The newlyweds were up early the next morning to catch the shuttle to the airport for their flight to Miami, the port of departure for their Caribbean cruise. The ship was a world unto itself, with dining, dancing, swimming, entertainment, and time relaxing in the sun. Paige wished that they could remain in that bubble forever. Not that they didn't enjoy the island-hopping as well. Neither of them had done much traveling – it was Paige's first trip out of the country – and they made the most of the new experiences.

* * *

Looking back, Paige and Emily were content with where life had taken them. Within a year of marriage, they began the process of adopting the twins, Gaby and Derek, after having read about them in the _Philadelphia Inquirer_ 's weekly feature on children in need of families. Paige got her wish to be surrounded by children, as, in time, they added three girls and a boy of their own. Knowing how hit-and-miss the insemination process could be, they both went into it together, letting the fates decide who would be the first mother. The fates chose Paige, who was the birth mother of Alexis. As Paige's body recovered, Emily took another round, ultimately giving birth to Paul, twenty-three months younger than his older sister. As the four children grew older, Emily and Paige again put motherhood into the hands of fate, with the unforeseen result that they both became pregnant within a month of each other. When it was all said and done, Sara and Christina were born 10 weeks apart.

Paige put her Master's in Social Work degree to work as a counselor in a privately run K-8 school in Philadelphia. Once they started their family, Emily left her accounting firm to work freelance, giving her the flexibility to work from home. In her spare time, she contributed articles to parenting and family blogs.

Pam Fields was delighted to have a full table and a full house every Thanksgiving and Christmas. As the children grew, she and Wayne set the children to helping in the kitchen and around the house with military precision.

"Second Christmas" in Wisconsin became a tradition on the McCullers side of the family, with Paige's parents covering the travel costs as their Christmas gift. Nick McCullers, never one to do anything halfway, added an extension to the house so that there would always be plenty of room for his grandchildren to stay when they visited. When Sara and Christina turned eight, Nick insisted that all the grandkids come out to Wisconsin for two weeks every summer, and, for those two weeks, Paige and Emily got a taste of life as empty nesters.

It was during one of those empty-nest summer weeks that Paige grew philosophical. Emily was reclining on the couch, reading, and Paige was sitting at her desk, putting together schedules for the next week of her school's summer camp. Looking at a framed picture on her desk of her and Emily with all of the kids, she thought about how well everything had turned out. She heard Emily's voice over her shoulder, "Would you change anything?" Paige chuckled. Emily always seemed to know where her mind was going, even when her lips were silent. Paige got up and walked over to the couch, pushing Emily's legs aside so that she could join her there. She thought over the question for a few moments before she answered. "No. I don't think that I'd change a thing. I regret some of the decisions, and all of the fights. I know that I've made mistakes with the kids. But, right now, I'm just really… content. And everything – all of the missteps and 'should've dones' were part of what brought me here. So, no, I wouldn't change anything, because I'm happy with the way that things turned out." Emily was beaming as she pulled her wife in for a kiss. "What about you?" Paige asked her, "What would you change?"

"Absolutely nothing. I've got the world's best, most beautiful, most loving wife, I've got the most wonderful kids. Why would I want to change that?"

"I remember the first time I saw you," she continued. Paige cringed. She well remembered how awkward she was her freshman year. She was sure that Emily was going to try to pass it off as endearing, but she wasn't looking forward to the resurrection of the Paige whom she had spent so long trying to bury.

"Really?" she asked, her face scrunched up in dread.

"I'll never forget it. Hanna and I were talking while we waited for that sociology seminar to begin. You came into the room looking a little bit lost, not sure that you were in the right place." All those years later, Paige hid her face in her hands, still embarrassed at who she used to be. "The moment that I saw you, my heart stopped. I couldn't believe that there could actually be someone so beautiful in real life."

Paige smacked Emily's arm. "Don't BS me!"

"I'm totally serious. I had to play it cool, though, because Hanna was on the prowl. She was determined to get me back into circulation after Maya. I knew that there was no chance that you were gay – I mean, come on: How often does a beautiful, available, gay woman just waltz into your life? – so I didn't want Hanna to pick up on the way that I was looking at you and do something to embarrass me – and you."

Paige kissed her. "Well, she ended up embarrassing us, anyway."

"Yeah," Emily laughed. "That day we saw you at Campus Grounds, even before we saw you there, she told that she noticed the way that you used to look at me in class…"

Paige started blushing. "I used to come early so that I could get a seat where I could stare at you without you seeing me." Emily cupped Paige's cheek and gave her a kiss. "At first, I thought that you and Hanna were together. Well, until I saw her artwork."

"Did I ever tell you about her plan to draw a picture of you and me making out, to find out whether or not you were into that?"

"Oh my God!" Paige was a bright, cherry red. "You guys knew that I was staring at you?"

"Hanna did. I didn't. Believe me, if I had known, I would've made a move a lot earlier."

Paige kissed her. "I'm glad the way that it worked out."

"Yeah, I am, too."

"It forced me to be brave. Well, what was brave for me at the time, that is. At the time, it was a big step for me to say yes to meeting you for coffee and to send you my number."

"I was so glad to get that message. I thought that you hated me…"

"Oh, God! I know! I was such a dork – I couldn't even reply when we were chatting!" Paige buried her face in her wife's shoulder.

"Hey." Emily grabbed her head and looked intently into her eyes. "You were worth waiting for. That Paige is the Paige I love. This Paige is the Paige I love." Emily kissed her. "And I wouldn't change a damn thing."

The night closed in around them, and, eventually, they hauled themselves off to bed. Night turned into day. Seasons changed. Years came and went. Their children grew and set out to live their lives. And the roots of their love plumbed deeper and deeper as its branches spread upward to the skies.

And they lived hapPaily ever after.

**A/N - (Sorry - I couldn't resist!) :)**

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published November 25 - December 25, 2014 (my first true multi-chapter... and it shows)


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